To Call You
Written by Torrie DeMore on July 16, 2003
My eyes linger on the telephone
as my mind races to justify the reasoning
behind making the call.
You said it would be alright if I called you,
but would it still be alright with you
if you knew why I was calling?
I worry you'll think that I'm attempting to convince you
that you still love me and that we need to be together,
when all that it is that I want to do
is apologize.
To apologize and possibly,
if I'm brave,
tell you what I'm feeling now and
what I have felt over the past few months.
But I know what it's going to look like.
I know you'll think I have other reasons
for telling you these things,
and I don't blame you.
The truth is,
I've spoken up too late,
and even though you're too good-hearted to say it,
this is ultimately my fault.
My friends say I'm being too hard on myself,
but you and I both know it's true.
To make things right in my head,
I felt I should at least tell you how I have felt
and how I feel now
But I don't want to appear like I'm begging
for you to take me back.
And that's the dilemma I face
as I lay across my bed,
staring at that purple phone,
resting ever-so-peacefully on its charger.