web page on death, philosophy, religion, science, time & revelations.
Because I could not stop for Death,
Today is the last day of your life so far.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
We want to live forever and will die in the attempt.
Often it is fatal to live too long. -- Racine
Don't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
The first condition of immortality is death. -- Stanislaw Lem
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
-- Yogi Berra
Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.
He's dead, Jim. -- Leonard McCoy
He kindly stopped for me --
The Carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality. -Emily Dickinson
Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
-- Shakespeare, _Macbeth_
One bright morning at midnight
two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
pulled out their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and saved the lives of the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it too.
THE HEARSE SONG
Have you ever thought
when the hearse goes by,
That you may be
the next to die?
They wrap you up
in a big white sheet
and then they bury you
six feet deep
Things are OK
for about a week
but then your coffin
begins to leak
Your eyes cave in
Your hair falls out
the worms begin
to crawl about
The worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle
upon your snout.
They eat your eyes,
they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly
between your toes.
And a big green worm
with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach
and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns
a slimy green,
And pus pours out
like whipping cream.
You spread it on
a slice of bread,
And that's what you eat
when you are dead.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of
in your philosophy. -- Shakespeare
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
The early bird catches the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.
No matter which way you go, it's uphill and against the wind.
Exceptions always outnumber rules.
Better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
You may find after a time that having is not nearly as fine a thing as
wanting. -- Mr. Spock
Experience is somthing you don't get until just after you need it.
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
Imagine a world with no hypothetical situations.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Duct tape is like the Force: it has a light side, a dark side and it holds
the whole universe together.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game
with rules and no objectives.
The Universe is not limited by your perception of it.
Reality is a constant intrusion into our dreams.
Life is like......an analogy.
Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
A witty saying proves nothing. -- Voltaire
I used to think that the brain was the most important organ in my body,
but then I realized who was telling me this. - Oscal Wilde
If you study the logistics
and heuristics of the mystics
you will find that their minds
rarely move in a line
So it's much more realistic
to abandon such ballistics
and resign to chopped
like a leaf from the vine
-Brian Eno (from Before and After Science : Blackwater)
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
Consider the plight of the agnostic
dyslexic who lies awake all night wonder whether or not there really is
That was Zen. This is Tao.
Let him who is stoned cast the first sin.
Christ died for our sins. Let us not make his martyrdom meaningless
by not committing them.
Sects! Sects! Sects! Is that all monks think about???
A Bhuddist may walk up to a hot dog vendor and say, "Make
me one with everything."
Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have
certainty without any proof. -- Ashley Montague
A 1-L Lama, he's a priest
A 2-L Llama, he's a beast
And a 3-L Lllama is a spicey Thai feast!
(in response to Ogden Nash's original
which, in place of the last verse said,
"But I'm willing to bet a silk pajama
that there's no such thing as a 3-L Lllama.")
psychology of religion homepage.
SCIENCE VS RELIGION / HEAVEN VS HELL:
Humans were invented by water for transporting it uphill.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
I know, but what is the speed of DARK ?
76.4% of all statistics are meaningless.
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Heisenberg may have been here.
A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself. --
Why did the tachyon cross the road? Because it was on the
Quantum particles are the dreams that stuff is made of.
Black holes are where God divides by zero.
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one
trifling exception, is composed of others. -- John Andrew Holmes
The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed.
Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be
as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as
the light of seven days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation
as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth
does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon
is one 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore
that ... The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where
the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation,
i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using
the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 =50, where E is the absolute
temperature of the earth (-300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature
of Hell cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the
fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which burneth
with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature
must be at or below the boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven,
at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C. -- From "Applied Optics" vol. 11,
science vs. atheism (as psuedo-science
When the tide of life turns against you
The older I get, the better I used to be.
The distance one walked to school in the snow is in direct
proportion to one's age.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine
that age brings wisdom. -- H. L. Mencken
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its
pupils. -- Hector-Louis Berlioz
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening
all at once.
The future isn't what it used to be.
With a calendar, your days are numbered.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
-- Roy Baty, in "Blade Runner"
And the current upsets your boat
Don't waste tears on what might have been
Just lie on your back and float
First ask: Where are we going ? Then ask: Why are we in this
Never judge a book by its movie.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant!
No matter where you go, there you are. -- Buckaroo Bonzai
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are
merely rearranging their prejudices. -- William James
The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice
as large as it needs to be.
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things
you know nothing about.
They who laugh last have not been told the terrible truth.
The secret of the universe is ?$@*&!^^^ NO CARRIER
Ladies and gentlemen
Take my advice
Pull down your pants
And slide on the ice