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Blatantly stolen from http://www.asan.com/users/kangaroo/suicide.htm

So You're Thinking of Suicide?


Popular .Ways .to .SNUFF~IT!

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Disclaimer: the views reflected here are probably not those of ASAN
You are not being encouraged, incited, induced, seduced, or suggested to
COMMIT SUICIDE !
you are visitor number :

0000-1

click here for music

-midi-

Style

Description

Painful?

Effective?

Comments

Sweet and Simple Gun Shot in Mouth or Temple Area
No (unless you miss)
Yes, survival rate is low
One of the fastest, most reliable ways to go, popular amongst Men
2's a Crowd Gun Shot at wife, friend, co-worker, boss, or stranger, AND yourself Strangely Satisfying
Depends on your Aim If you attempt this method be sure not to miss Yourself!
Suicide by Cop Brandish a Weapon (car-phone, hairbrush, etc.) at a Police Officer Pain depends on mood of Cop
Oh Yes This method is preferred by minorities and others hostile to police or too proud to kill self
Suicide by Murder Get some Compassionate Soul to 'Kevork' You Varies by Method and Compassion Usually Works For cowards who can't get up the nerve or who are afraid of Afterlife Consequences (purgatory)
Classic Razor across Wrists Some pain at first, then glorious Relief
Not too effective Many people who try this miss cutting the major wrist Vein (cut Along, Not across)
Clinical Inject a Hypodermic Needle filled with Air into Veins Just a Pinprick, then some minor heart stoppage
With alot of Air, quite effective Painless, Quick, Clean, Effective, what more can I say?
How Sweet It Is Inject a Hypodermic Needle filled with Insulin into a Non-Diabetic Person (you) Just a Pinprick, then some minor shock
Effective
and Untracable
Be sure to leave a suicide note or else you Won't be Counted
as a cide (thanks Lily)
Just Eat It Injest a Toxic Substance such as Clorox, Aspirin, Lye or other substance (cheeze nachos) Tummyache, some vomit Why waste good household Products? This method is also slow (Do-gooders might try to rescue you) Tolerance Levels vary, so do Substance Effects...Pukeing may Save you
Dead Inside work wor k work work work work work work work work work work work work work drudge drudge drudge drudge
it Works this popular method leaves the Body alive but kills the Mind - Soul - Spirit and Creativity

It is the solemn belief that there is too
much suffering and too many dickheads in the world,
READ ON !...

Style

Description

Painful?

Effective?

Comments

the Lemming
Jump off a Building or Bridge
You 'll feel a Thrill and then Faint before you reach Bottom
From a Building, survival is low. Jumping from a Bridge is NOT the way to go
Water, earth and People may break your fall, not your neck. Make sure the Building is at least 15 stories and has a concrete or paved ground.
Dash to the Finish Jump in Front of a moving Car or Train Yes, I see Pain here
This is for Amateurs It would be wiser to touch the Third Rail than to try this
Singing in the Shower Oops, I dropped the Hairdryer, Toaster and Radio into the Bathtub! Shock.....get ready for major Muscle Spasms
Does the Job Try It, No serious side-effects
Death Race 2000 Get in your Car and Go F-ckin Crazy ! There is both Pain & Pleasure in Speed Not a surefire Kill though Don't Drink and Drive...eeeeeeee
the Midnight Special Park your Car on the Railroad Tracks You'll never know what hit you If Parked dead-center, Bulls-eye Take a Nap while waiting to catch the Red-Eye
Idle Time Park Car in Garage, close all doors, turn on engine, breath Deep the gathering Gloom getting...drowsy....
very....dro...sigh...
Turn on Radio, no one will bother you Got Car? Got Garage? gentlemen: start your Engines

Sitting at a Computer is Lonely
Do you really have any Friends? Does anyone really Care?
think about it...

Style

Description

Painful?

Effective?

Comments

Weenie Roast
Dowse self with Combustable Fluid and Ignite Excruciatingly Peaceful If you fail, you'll wish you were Dead This is not Popular, but very watchable
Blaze`o Glory Make a Statement: crash Plane into Whitehouse, Kill the President,
Turn self into Human Bomb, etc.
Plan on some Pain
Double check the Plan
the only limits are your own Imagination.
Make it Big !
Jailhouse Log The Bedsheet is tied around the top bars of the Cell-door then looped around the Neck who cares?
what options do you have? If ^above^ Plan fails
More Asphixia The Plastic Bag is placed over the Head and wrapped around Neck Some Dizziness
R U Joking? this Method is Lame There are other forms of Suffacation, none are Recommended
Water, water Everywhere... Jump off a Boat, or Walk into the Sea Momentary Panic leads to Eternal Bliss Are there any people around? No..good the Sea Beckons...
Listen !

-Stars that have proceeded You-

* Marilyn Monroe * Cleopatra * porn-star Savannah * R&B singer Phylis Hyman *
* Micheal Hutchence of INXS * Kurt Cobain * Wendy 0. Williams *
* Ernest Hemingway * Abbey Hoffman * George Reeves (Superman) *
* sit-com's Brian Keith * game-show host Ray Combs * Paul Lynde *
* politicos - Donald Manning - Bud E. Dwyer (live on TV) - Vincent Foster (?) *

Do you think you're better than them?

...................................................

Having Second thoughts?
Just looking for Attention?

What does Purgatory look like?

And the Winner Is :

The Big Sleep Swallow as many Barbituates and Booze that you can Relieves all Pain Not 100 % Effective The Number 1 way to Go



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just say :
Farewell My Lovely
Au Revoir Mon Amore
Goodbye Cruel World



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a s s i s t a n ce