How My Life Was And How It Became.

  For anyone that feels the need to be loved.


I can think back and see how my life was before I know the love of christ.

It was hard and long,I was looking in all the wrong places for love.
I looked for love in my mom, it was not alway's there, she had no time for us kid's and we had to do for ourself most of the time.
The love was not there.

I looked for love in my stepdad, but us kid's could not be as good as his 2 kid's, we had to jump to his feet and do all he asked of us, and he would tell us we were dumb and we were going to do everything wrong even when we know we could do it.

The love was not with there.

I found myself crying and wishing for the feeling of love,I know how to love with all my heart and I wanted to feel someone love me the way I could love people.

One day I met a guy and I was hoping he would give me the love I needed and I ran away with him.
I did not even know him, but I needed and hoped to feel love, I was not thinking,I was 15 at the time.

I was abused by him and was with him 4 years.

I could not take it any more so I left him. The love was not there.

Not long after, I meet someone and we got together fast and we got married after I had just know him for about six months.

I wanted that love I was looking for again and did not see the way he was.

He would not let me have money, friends, so on, I was with him 3 and a 1/2 year's, then one day he hit my son and that was it, I left him.

The love was not there.

Now I stop and look at all that was going on in my life, I was thinking everyone would have a love that I had, if they would just feel my love they would give the love back, I felt I could help them change.

At this time something came over me I found the love I was looking for, It was alway's there telling me to take it in,it is the love I need, It was "Jesus," he said he will always love me and I would have A good life it I would tell him that I need him,and I did this.

Now, I know I cant change someone, the person has to do it for themselves, I have seen so much in my life and now I know a lot.

  I can Look in someone's eyes now and tell them about themselves in just a little time after knowing them, and get it right all most every time.

If you look hard in someone's eyes you will know them for there true self.

I don't look at the out side of a person, that is not how you know someone.the eye's will tell true,

it is hard for a person to lie if there looking into your eyes.

I have been single now for just over 2 year's.

I recommited my life to jesus 4-14-01 and I will not let him out of my life.

I'm now going to church almost every day now and I sing at my church as well.

I have had people come up to me and one person said he has never felt this way before but he felt that God said I needed him (GOD) in my life.

One person said God said I was not alone,and one said God told her that he had had good thing for me in my life.

I have been told by people that pray for me that they can feel the power of God in me.

I myself feel that God has said to me that all is well just love him.God wants me to get to know some good people I have meet in my church,and I feel he has someone for me, that I will get to know and we will fall in love in God's time.

He said don't be afraid to love this man I have for you.

And he said hold me in your heart, do all right and your hard time's will soon be well.

God is every thing to me and I hope he is to you.

Hug's to all that want to know me for who I was and who I am now .Look at my web page for more about me.

Thank you!---shawnda...


For more on Shawnda and a link to her own personal webpage and e-mail address click on below..... CLICK HERE FOR MORE SHAWNDA!