It’s an Evolutionary Setback, But NSYNC is What’s Selling
Written by Aaron Beck (Dispatch Pop Music Critic) (from the Columbus Dispatch)
Lowered on cables from the rafters, NSYNC dropped to the Value City Arena stage Tuesday night as human marionettes. The dancing and pouting and smiling and singing group had stopped in Columbus to perform songs from its new very-million-selling "No Strings Attached".
In baggy black mime suits and glittery patchwork, the five-headed dance-pop group looked like flamboyant, if not insane, bums who’d just looted a Chess King and dressed themselves in a dark public restroom. Ninety minutes of weak singing, vomit-inducing bass and skull-splitting screaming from the audience followed.
If Janet Jackson were dead, she would be spinning in her solid gold tomb. ‘N Sync indeed knew how many dance steps; the members just aren’t at dancing. The production was more like an ESPN cheerleading competition than a concert. And when ‘N Sync added scripted skits, the production became like a second-rate Ice Capades. The only thing missing was the Snuffleupagus on skates.
Focusing on singing into a headset microphone when one is trying to perform Jazzercize must be difficult. Justin Timberlake, 19, the closest to the median age of ‘N Sync’s fans-12-15-received the brunt of the audience’s affection for trying.
But Timberlake, like the rest of the former Mouseketeers and Orlando, Fla., night-clubbers who make up the group, has not been taught shame. Timberlake shared lead singing duties with JC Chasez- the one who winked and sweated on us when he and the other boy-men rode a cherry picker. (Thank you, JC!) Timberlake tried his mouth at beat-boxing-mimicking percussive sounds with one’s mouth, larynx, cheeks, and tongue-and slinging street slang: "Bass, hit me bass!" he shouted to his bass player before rapping, "Lake/ They call me Ta Ta Ta Timbalake."
‘N Sync’s backing band, which includes Columbus native David Cook on keyboards, provided all the drums, bass lines and barely audible acoustic guitar that a body can with-stand for 90 minutes. "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You" was treacly wedding-reception fare and bad-lyrics (see title of song). The night’s musical highlight: a breakdown of Rush’s "Tom Sawyer" in the exit music. (Other anomalies: ‘N Sync nodding to "The Song Remains the Same" by donning druid garb; Rolling Stones songs blaring before the concert.)
For this tour, ‘N Sync sold out Value City Arena and every other arena in the country in minutes. Whatever created the universe probably does not intend for humans to continue to create contrived dance-pop groups. Maybe society soon will revert to one that involves more hunting and gathering. There wouldn’t be as much dead time for people to dream up options to entertain those with so much disposable cash.
What did he expect: a completely silent concert? Of course, there would be loud music and screaming! This is a concert, right????
And what’s this crap about the ESPN cheerleading competition??? Did Nsync really look like a group of girls in cheerleading skirts???
Does this guy even know about the Nsync fans or this generation????? To the fans: They’re dancing is amazing! Not some crappy Jazzercize. To many of us, Justin’s "beat-boxing" was impressive, not as shameful as this author makes it sound.
And back to the loud music, this guy complains about the drums, bass lines, and guitar. What did he expect??? Did he expect them to be studio-perfect??? That’s not going to happen at a concert. If he knew anything about music, he’d know that. It takes hours at a studio to make the songs perfect. "Whatever created the universe probably does not intend for humans to continue to create contrived dance-pop groups." In our opinion, God made Nsync what they are. It was not an accident. I mean come on, God doesn’t make mistakes.
What the hell is this guy’s problem???????? If he doesn’t like them, why was he there??? And we’d like to see him go out there and do what they do. See if he knows what he’s talking about….*grumbles* You’d think that people could have a little respect for guys who try so hard at what they do.
Is this some old guy who’s thought of good music dates back to the 60’s???? This is the millenium, not the 60’s. If he has such a problem with it, why doesn’t he stop listening and go back to listening to his slow nasty old dirty dusty music??????
Alright, we’ve had our say with this load of crap…..If you guys have a reaction to this story, either email one of us, or go to our Club (link on the main page) and feel free to express. Please, no profanities….there may be younger children reading. Please let us know. If we like your opinion, we’ll post it on our upcoming OPINION page . See ya and have fun WRITING ABOUT A LOAD OF CRAP!!!
Hey everybody, Steph talking. I just wanted you all to be able to read my letter to the editor about this article. Enjoy :)
Dear Dispatch Editor,
Hello. This is in reply to the article "It May Be an Evolutionary Setback, But NSYNC is What's Selling." This article was a complete disappointment to myself and many other pop music fans. I was at the Columbus concert, and it was nothing like Mr. Beck described. He described NSYNC coming out of the "rafters dressed as marionettes." This is true, but it was intended to be this way. If he would have seen the music video to "Bye Bye Bye", we would have recognized the marionette setting. This man is completely wrong with several of the comments made in this article, such as the "pouting" done by NSYNC. I would like to know when this happened.....I must have missed it. Maybe I was too into the music and the beats that were going on to criticize every little move they made. After all, I am a fan, and shouldn't it be the fans that go to the concerts? Next time, Mr. Beck, please show a little respect. These guys work really hard at what they do, and maybe if you weren't so busy criticizing, you could see how talented they are.
Sincerely,
Steph
