She walked around the bed to face him and shook her head. “But don’t worry Abs I understand, so I left because we had both done wrong. I don’t know why you even care, you and Liz seem awfully close these days.”
Vivian stood stone-faced expecting some reaction from him. “I can explain…” he tried saying. “Don’t even bother, you slept with my best friend, what’s to explain? You not only slept with her but you continued your relationship even after I was gone. I guess you were much happier without me right?” she said not letting him talk.
“Viv, it wasn’t like that, it isn’t like that. Liz and I realized our mistake that morning. And I have no relationship with her except a deep friendship. When you left I was a mess thinking it was my fault and she was the only one willing to help me,” he said standing up and making her face him.
“And just how did she help you Abs? How do you think I felt when I cried myself to sleep, when I would picture the two of you together. I saw pictures of the two of you together and it tore me apart for the longest. It wasn’t fair that you got to continue your affair, and don’t give me that BS about it not being true cause I flat out don’t believe you, while I, I was…”
“You were what Vivian? A recluse by your own choice? And exactly who is Shiloh’s father? Because I know he sure as hell ain’t mine. What did you do, go for the next guy you found after me?” Right after he said that he knew it had been a mistake. In a fury Vivian slapped him across the face, with both rage and hurt in her eyes. “How dare you?” she said tears falling down her face.
“Just who do you think you are asking me that? Get out now!” she said pointing towards the door. “Wait, I’m sorry Viv, please it’s just hard ok. I’ve had all of these feelings inside of me since I found out you were pregnant. It hurts to know that if I hadn’t been so stupid he could have been mine. That it should have been different.”
“You have no idea what you’re saying. Look at how much we’ve hurt each other how were we ever to make it work? It just wasn’t meant to be, and I don’t regret it because I have Shiloh now,” Vivian said sincerity resounding in her words. They both stood looking at each other examining the persons that they now were. She tried seeing things from his perspective, maybe he hadn’t been lying and he and Liz were only friends. But then again during the evening Vivian had witnessed just how close Liz and Abs had become and it reminded her of when her and Ben had first started dating. She realized that her anger came from jealousy that he had found someone new while she had been left with a broken heart.
“I’m so sorry Viv, it just happened, I can’t explain it. One moment I was worried sick about you, and she was there to comfort me and the next we were…”
“God don’t tell me how it happened,” she said looking away from him. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. And you also don’t have to apologize, what’s done is done and I’m…I’m just happy we can be friends again, right?” she asked her back still facing him. Vivian felt drained of all protests and resigned herself to the fact that if she was to let go of the past she had to let go of her anger and hate also. She walked to her dresser and from her jewelry box brought out the ring he had given to her. “You know I have a lot to thank you for. The inscription in the ring, it got me through when it most mattered,” she said finally being able to place it back on her finger.
She sighed and went to sit next to him. “Abs, it was both our faults, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. In all honesty I think you should stop fooling yourself and see that happiness has been right in front of you. You’ve been chasing something that wasn’t meant to be.”
“So I’m supposed to just let you go?” he whispered rising to his feet. She tentatively touched his cheek and looked into his eyes. “There were times when I thought I would wither without you. But now I see that I don’t need you, I don’t need us,” she said. She looked at him and knew what had been missing from the whole conversation. “Can you honestly say that you love me? That you ever did?”
Startled by her questions he paused in thought. “I guess that’s my answer. Now do you see? There’s nothing to let go of anymore, this is our second chance to start over, as friends.” They stood in silence she waiting for him to agree and he considering his options. “I’ll agree to be your friend but I do love you, and I’m not just saying it because I’m trying to hold on to something. I’m saying it because it’s what I’ve felt ever since I met you, and I won’t pretend that its not,” he said giving her a kiss and walking out the room.
The next morning Vivian was reluctant to get up, during the night Shi had started crying and she now had him sleeping with her in bed. She got out of the bed and went to take a quick shower. When she got out she found Becca lying next to Shiloh. “Hi,” she said timidly. “Hey there sweetie,” Vivian said sitting on the bed. Becca scooted over and placed her hand on the baby’s head. “Baby sleeping?”
“Yeah he’s sleeping. Is your mommy awake now?” she asked picking up Shiloh and walking into the nursery. She then returned to her room for Becca. “Let’s go have some breakfast ok?”
Becca nodded her head and smiled. They were met in the hallway by Scott who was coming out of his room. “G’morning,” he said walking beside them. “Morning Scootie,” Becca said while playing with Vivian’s hair. “How can you be awake after all that crying?” Scott asked. She stopped in her tracks getting a little pale. “Crying?”
“Yeah I heard Shi cry early this morning. Where is he anyway?” Scott asked not understanding her hesitation. “Oh, he’s still asleep. Shi usually doesn’t wake up until mid morning so I carry around a baby monitor just in case,” she said turning so he could see the monitor attached to her jean pocket. They walked down to the dining room and were surprised to see everyone else was already having breakfast.
“Hey there munchkin, have you been bothering your godparents this morning?” Ryan asked taking Becca from her arms. “Baby’s asleep,” Becca said as an explanation. “So you wanted to see the baby?”
Vivian sat at the head of the table and waited as Cynthia, the maid, served food on her plate. “So what are we doing today?” Lydia asked.
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