“So when she finally got the nerve to talk to the guy, she walks up to him, and doesn’t even get one word out because she throws up on his shoes,” Liz said retelling one of the many stories she and Lydia knew about Vivian.
They were all seated around the large living room reminiscing on younger days. Everyone was laughing hysterically, even Vivian laughed but was getting very red in the face from the embarrassment. “That’s not funny, that was my first drinking experience and I was only 16,” she said in between laughs.
“Sure you keep on telling yourself that,” Liz said making her self more comfortable on a black leather lazyboy. “She did the exact same thing when she met Ben, remember Liz,” Lydia said turning to Liz. “Yeah but that time she actually got to say something before she threw up on him,” Liz said laughing at the memory. “Alright that’s enough,” Vivian said quietly. Abs who had his arm around Vivian had sensed her tense up at the mention of ‘Ben’ whoever he was.
“But he didn’t run away like that other guy,” Lydia said still laughing uncontrollably. “I said that was enough,” Vivian said a bit louder. “Oh c’mon Vivian, don’t you want them to know what it was he said to you afterwards?” Lydia said taunting her. “What did he say?” asked Ryan enjoying the sight of the always serene Vivian squirming in her seat.
“He said will you marry me,” Liz exclaimed without taking notice of Vivian standing from her seat. “I said that was enough!” Vivian said walking out of the room. Both Liz and Lydia looked at each other knowing that they had gone too far with their teasing. “I didn’t know she still felt so strong about him,” Lydia said out loud with a confused look on her face.
“I didn’t know either,” Liz said as she watched both Abs and Scott about to leave the room. Scott had been sitting quietly with Marie on the rug that was in front of the fireplace. When he had seen Vivian leave angrily he had instinctively wanted to follow her to see if she was ok but then noticed Abs had done the same thing. “Let me go and see what’s the matter,” Scott said attempting to convince Abs to remain in the room.
“No, I’ll go. I’m her boyfriend after all,” Abs said not understanding why Scott had done the same thing as he and walked after her. Abs walked out of the room before he could see the hurt look on Scott’s face. He found Vivian sitting on the back porch with Snuggle’s head on her lap. “Hey babe. Mind telling me what just happened back there?” he asked sitting next to her.
Vivian sat not knowing what to say, how can you say to the guy you’re seeing that you’re still in love with a ghost? “It’s a long story,” Vivian said wiping away tears. “I’ve got all night,” Abs said taking her into his arms. “It still hurts, so don’t mind the tears that will fall while I tell you,” she said resting her head on his shoulder.
“Tears aren’t bad, now tell me, who’s Ben?”
“Ben…well let me start at the beginning,” she said as he wiped a tear from her cheek. “My parents died when I was very young and as you know Lydia and Nan are my only family. Uhm, this is hard for me to say but, I’ve always had a hard time getting to know people, because it scares me that they might just one day decide to leave me,” she said not making sense to herself or Abs.
“I know it sounds stupid to think this way, but that’s how I lived my life until…”
“Ben?” Abs said sensing she was reluctant to tell him. Vivian sighed and tried to hold in the emotions that were now building inside of her. “Yeah Ben. I met him at one of my classmate’s 18th birthday party, Ben was her older brother. From the first moment I saw him I knew we were meant to be together. Everything was there he was so unbelievably handsome, mature, funny, and charismatic,” she said wistfully. She looked up to see if he was listening to her and smiled as he nodded for her to continue. “Well after that disastrous first meeting I thought I would never get a chance to get to know him. But amazingly he called me the next day and we started seeing each other. It was like I was living for the first time, I mean truly living. He made everything seem possible, even when my pessimistic attitude was at it’s worst Ben always saw the bright side of things. Ours was a very short courtship after about six months he asked me to marry him and I said yes,” she trailed off wondering how Abs was reacting to all of it.
“So you were married before?” Abs asked wondering if the marriage had somehow gone wrong. A sob escaped from Vivian and for a few minutes she cried on his shoulder. Abs waited for her to calm down once again and soothingly rubbed her back. “It was the day we went to tell his parents that we were going to get married. They hadn’t been happy but he knew they would get over their anger soon. We were on the road, on our way back to my house, when it happened. It had been raining that night and the road was very slippery. Ben lost control of the car, he started skidding and then all I remember is waking up in the hospital. I was devastated and swore never to fall that deep in love again, so I wouldn’t get hurt when they finally left,” Vivian managed to finish off in between sobs.
Abs cradled her in his arms feeling her pain run through him, how he wished he had been there to take away the hurt. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that so young, but you have to understand that not everyone will leave you in that way. Love is essential in life,” he said searching her face for any signs of agreement.
“I see that now, but when it was happening to me and I was experiencing the pain, all I saw was that the one person I loved the most in life had been cruelly taking away. And it wasn’t just Ben that I lost that night,” she said sitting up to look at him. “That night I also lost a part of me, right after telling me Ben was gone the doctor came in and told me that I had also lost our baby. My child, whom I hadn’t been aware of, had died even before I knew it existed. You don’t know how depressed I became after that,” Vivian said with a pained expression.
“You aren’t over it, are you?” he said realizing any chance at a serious relationship with her was depending on her answer. Vivian knew that she had to answer the question as truthfully as possible but was still confused on what she really felt. “I won’t ever be over it. I mean it changed my entire life, and Ben was my first love. I don’t think I’ll ever forget him or the fact that I could have had a child,” Vivian said choosing her words carefully.
Abs could feel her drawing back into her usual controlled self and knew if he was going to get the truth from her he needed to ask now. “Vivian? Where do you see us going?” She could hear the uncertainty in his voice, as if he knew that the answer before she said it. “I don’t know, Abs. I really don’t know,” she said looking up at the clear night sky.
“Is there any possibility that…maybe, you could fall in love with me?” he asked knowing he was already falling for her. She had tried telling herself that she would be able to but knew deep down that it would take a lot. Too much perhaps, but maybe she could. Vivian then thought of Scott, he was happy with Marie and didn’t need more complications in his life. “Yeah, I think I could,” she said turning to face him.
Scott could feel his hopes die with her words. He had been standing in the shadows watching and hearing what they both said to each other. Scott knew that he shouldn’t have cared about what she had just said, but somehow he did. Somehow he had fallen in love with her. Not because of her beauty or her wealth but because she just simply made him feel whole whenever she was near. Just her mere presence filled him with joy, but now he had to forget about her. Now he had to step aside because Abs was his best friend and Scott would never do anything to hurt him. He walked back to the living room, knowing he had just let the most wonderful woman go.
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