April 13, 2001

 

 
 
 

Lady Marmalade  Zero Stars

Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Pink, Mya

Single (2001)

 

Soul sistas baby! Ok then. It's common knowledge that some songs do not age. Songs like Brown Eyed Girl, Y.M.C.A, Jump Around and others are still popular for one reason or another. Lady Marmalade does not fall under that catagory, which is why for the second time in three years this song gets re-released and redone. Yes, it was the All Saints who re-did this one in 1998, but nobody heard it. Never in the history of the universe has there been a song that was done so badly, yet towers like the Green Giant over this hideously oversung monster. This version asks the question why: Why would anyone, anywhere, in any walk of human life or otherwise, want to hear this song sung this way? It boggles the mind actually. It's like a dance-R&B-rock smorgasboard and we're all about to throw up after eating. Christina Aguilera's singing is so overdone one wonders if she knew there were three others singing too. Lil Kim is really only here to perform a rap in the middle of this song. Oh great joy! Nothing says bring it back to the '70s like a rap. Even if they're not trying to do that, why is a rap here? It serves no purpose, except to give a woman who couldn't sing to save her life an excuse to be on this record. Pink and Mya are virtually unheard because of Aguilera's singing, so through a stoke of good luck their names may just be removed from the list of performers. Somebody, somewhere must have thought this was a good idea. The fact that this version is slower than the original does it no favors at the clubs because now we have an awful recording that you can't even dance to very well. If you've ever been to a club and had to dance to a really bad song or remix, at least you could dance the night away and tune out the bad music. Lady Marmalade is without a doubt, one of the very worst redone songs of all time! A bold statement yes, but it's just so unpleasant, it's almost as if maybe we all should hear it over and over. It'll give us all a lesson on how to NOT redo songs.