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BreetNik DATELINE HOLLYWOOD:

BREETLES' NEW CD ON PERMANENT PRESS, CALLED 'WRITERSCRAMP', NOT NOMINATED FOR 7 GRAMMIES; BUT NEVERTHELESS, HIS NEW EXPANDED COMBO IS SIZZLING, SET TO DEBUT AT MAXWELL'S IN HOBOKEN NEW JERSEY THIS WEDNESDAY 3 MAY, WITH COSMIC AVENGER AND R. STEVIE MOORE AS OPENING AX.

YOU ALL ARE CORDIALLY REQUESTED TO COME HEAR PAST AND PRESENT CLASSICS PERFORMED LOUD AND CLEAR, AND IN PERSON. SMELL THEIR BAD BREATH EVERYONE'S GOIN' ON ABOUT.

MEET THE BAND, SING ALONG, PURCHASE AN OVERSIZED TEE SHIRT, FIND SALVATION. PURE POP MUSIC AIN'T DEAD, MY FRIENDS, IRREGARDLESS OF THE CURRENT GLUT OF BIG-HAIR DIVAS, FAGGY BOYBANDS, "SERIOUS" FOLKPOETS AND SLACKER RAPMETAL GONAD-GROUPS OOZING UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS.

MR. CB & HIS breetveldites ARE ROCKING WAY HARD, WHILE CROONING WAY SWEET AND PLAYING WAY MASTERFUL. COCKY SMILES ABOUND FROM THESE GROOVY, GRUMPY OLD MEN. ACTUAL SONGS, REMEMBER SONGS? DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU OTHERWISE!

THIS PRECIOUS WEBSPAN YER CLICKING YER MOUSE THRU HOPES TO PUSH ANY AND ALL ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THE MUSIC WORLD TO SIT UP AND SIGH A FRESH BREATH OF RELIEF IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE breetles ARE HERE AT YOUR SERVICE. CONSTANT UPDATES...BLAH BLAH BLAH...ALWAYS UNDER CONSTRUCTION...BLAH BLAH BLAH...BOOKMARK THIS SITE...BLAH BLAH SUPERBLAH.

COMING SOON, WE PROMISE: FULL BAND BIOS 'N STATS, INACCURATE LYRICS TRANSLATIONS, BREETFAN TESTIMONIALS, WRONG CHORD PROGS, LITTLE-KNOWN SECRETS, MORE PIX, RECIPES, DEFIANT DEGRADATIONS, EXCLUDED BARES-ALL INTERVIEWS WITH greg shuss & duf davis, AN EXCLUSIF TOUR THROUGH tom lucas' JUST IN DREAMS STUDIO, AND MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE!

AND BY ALL MEANS,
ALLOW yourself TO SURF TO THESE RELATED BREET-LOUNGES:

OFFICIAL BREETLES
C D R S M C L U B
IUMA PLUMMAGE
It takes a tough turkey to make tender tapes
The REAL Queen of Pop
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