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I wasn’t home. I had gone out with a few friends. It had all been planned at the last minute, and I don’t know what made me go in the first place. When I returned a few hours later to am empty house, I found that someone had left a message on the machine. Without a clue as to who it might be, I played it. It was A.J., sobbing to empty ears for someone to pick up. He begged me to pick up, saying he desperatly needed someone to talk to. The message was still playing when I bolted out the door and ran as fast as my legs would carry me towards A.J.’s house. It didn’t matter, I arrived just in time to see my best friend collapse into a pool of blood that flowed from the slits on his wrists. I was too late. I stayed conscious just long enough to see the note lying on the table.
The next time I saw A.J., he was in a casket. I stood as close as I could get, feeling nothing, saying nothing as the preacher droned on about how wonderful A.J. was and how we were all going to miss him. The service was almost over, nearly everyone had said something about A.J.. Finally it was my turn. Slowly I dragged my boom box up to the pedestal. Everyone watched as I turned it to number seven and hit “play”.
“I never thought I’d die alone I laughed the loudest who’d have known I traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all I took my time, I hurried up The choice was mine I didn’t think enough I’m too depressed to go on You’ll be sorry when I’m gone I never conquered, rarely came 16 just held such better days Days when I still feel alive We couldn’t wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over I’d survived I couldn’t wait till I got home To pass the time in my room alone I never thought I’d die alone Another six months I’ll be unknown Give all my things to all my friends You’ll never set foot in my room again You’ll close it off, board it up Remember the time that I spilled the cup Of apple juice in the hall Please tell mom this is not her fault I never conquered, rarely came But tomorrow holds such better days Days when I can still feel alive When I can’t wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, I’ve survived I can’t wait till I get home To pass the time in my room alone.”
No one said a word as the final cords played. Later they would call it a disgrace. “How dare she play that horrid song”, “The poor parents, they’re having a hard enough time”, “Rubbing it in our faces like that, the nerve”. But a few, only a few, smiled. For they know that somewhere, A.J. is smiling, too. And as the final notes fade into the background, I whisper something that I hope will follow those notes and reach A.J.’s ears.
“Goodbye Alex.”