Betrayal in Pallet Town
Narrator: It's a wonderful day in the world of Pokemon. The sun is shining, a breeze is blowing, and . . . uh-oh! It looks like our friends Ash, Misty, and Brock are lost again. And speaking of being lost, where's Brock!?!?
Misty: You've really done it this time, Ash!
Ash: Leave me alone, Misty! How was I supposed to know they were doing a Playboy magazine shoot near where I chose to hike, and how was I supposed to know Brock would see them?
Misty: Are you kidding? Brock can see any girl within a five mile radius! And it would have been kind of hard for him not to have seen them, since you were babbling like an idiot and drooling and pointing at them and screaming, "OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGOD!!!"
Ash: Well excuse me for looking at hot women! You'd probably be screaming "OHMIGOD!" too if you were a guy and the only girl around was you!
Misty: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!! ANY MAN IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD KILL TO LOOK AT ME!!!!
(Ash, though frightened, starts laughing insanely. Pikachu snickers to itself.)
Pikachu: Pi! Pikachu! Pi Pika Pi Pi Chu-hu-hu!!
Ash: HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, it's too much!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
(Misty fumes with rage and kicks him across the clearing into a tree)
Pikachu: (angrily) PIKA! PI-PIKACHU!!
Ash: Ow . . . Hey, Misty, where are you going?
Misty: I'm gonna find Brock. He's the one with the map.
Ash: How are you gonna find him? Were lost!
Misty: All I have to do is go back to where the photo shoot was and follow his trail of drool.
Ash: You'll never find him that way!!
Misty: Well if you're so smart, you find him yourself! I'm leaving!!
(On her way out of the woods, she meets Team Rocket.)
Jesse: Prepare for trouble!
James: And make it double!
Jesse: To protect the world from—oof!
(Misty has pushed her away.)
J&J: (angrily) HEY!
Misty: You can skip the motto. Ash isn't here.
James: (to Jesse) She's right! (to Misty) So where's your twerpy boyfriend? Did you two have a lovers' quarrel?
Misty: He's not my boyfriend! He never was! And after today, he's not my friend either!!
Jesse: (to James) Can it be true? Team Twerp has split? I'm shocked!
James: (whispering to Jesse) If they've split, maybe now would be a good time to do some recruiting for Team Rocket!
Misty: What do you mean, recruiting?
Jesse: (looking at James) Her?
Misty: What are you talking about? If you're gonna try to steal my pokemon, well, forget it!
Jesse: Just a moment, little girl. We have a proposition for you. How about joining us?
Misty: I would never join you!
Jesse: Not even to watch that bratty Ash squirm?
Misty: No. (looks doubtful)
James: Well, let's go. It'll be easier to get Pikachu without her helping him.
(Team Rocket turns to go.)
Misty: Wait! Okay, I'll join you! What do I have to do?
Jesse: First you have to get out of those hideous clothes and put on something decent. Then you have to learn to pose and look evil. You already seem to know the motto, so it shouldn't be too hard.
Misty: Sure. I'd like to get that moron for good! I don't know why I followed him around anyway, except for my bike. Maybe it was seeing him screw up everything that was so fun.
James: Never mind that right now. We'll get to that later.
Jesse: Now put this on.
(Jesse hands Misty a Team Rocket uniform.)
Misty: Is the skirt supposed to be this short?
Jesse: Yes . . . unless you don't think you could make it look as good as I do. I mean, nobody respects a bad-looking villain!
James: But Jesse, nobody respects us anyway!!!
(Jesse whomps him on the head with her fist.)
Jesse: Come on, twerpette! If you're a part of Team Rocket now, you'll have to hit James and Meowth when they say something stupid! It's in the job description!
Meowth: Yeah! If you wanna be on da team, you gotta do it!
James: Yeah, hurt me!
(Misty kicks him into Meowth, and they both fall into a pit Team Rocket has dug.)
Meowth: Wow. Dat was almost as good as Jesse!
Misty: Well, hanging out with Ash and Brock for over a year has really taught me how to beat the crap out of ignoramuses.
Jesse: Speaking of ignoramuses . . . here comes the brat and his Pikachu!
Ash: Misty! Where are you? I'm sorry! Please come back!!
Misty: It's too late for apologies now!!
Ash: Huh? Misty, why are you dressed like that?
James: Geez, he really is an imbecile!!
Meowth: (snickering) Yeah, he's a bigger idiot dan you!
Jesse: Prepare for trouble!
James: And make it double!
Misty: You mean TRIPLE!!!
All Three: (in unison) To protect the world from devastation! To unite all peoples within our nation! To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend our reach to the stars above! Jesse! James! MISTY!! Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now or prepare to fight!!
Meowth: Meowth! Dat's right!!
Misty: Now hand over Pikachu!
Ash: No way!
Misty: Do it or I'll tell everyone your secret!! I'll make sure to tell Gary, too!
Ash: You wouldn't!!
Misty: Wanna bet? Okay, everyone, listen good! Ash—
(Ash clamps his hand over her mouth.)
Ash: (whispering to Misty) Please don't tell them I suck my thumb. I'll do anything, but don't make me give up Pikachu!
Misty: (after removing his hand) Sorry, Ash, but all I want is Pikachu.
Ash: How about a bike?
Misty: Who cares about a bike anymore? Jesse and James can teach me how to DRIVE!!!
(Meanwhile, J&J have taken this opportunity to grab Pikachu and sedate him.)
James: I can't believe we never thought of drugging Pikachu before! It would have been so much easier!!
Jesse: Come on, Misty, we've finally succeeded in our mission. It's time to go see the Boss!
Misty: We're gonna visit Bruce Springsteen?
Jesse: Not THAT Boss, the boss of Team Rocket!
James: (triumphantly) I know why we didn't think of it before! This is a children's cartoon! We aren't supposed to mention drugs!
Misty: (ignoring James) The Boss of Team Rocket? Does he have a name?
Jesse: Of course he has a name! It's—it's—What's the Boss's name, James?
James: I don't know. Why don't you ask him?
(Jesse whacks James over the head.)
Jesse: Because he'd have us beheaded, you dolt!
Ash: Give me back my Pikachu!
Jesse: Buzz off, dweeb.
(Ash swings his fist at Misty.)
Ash: This is all your fault! I HATE you!
(James puts out a hand to the brat's head and stops Ash in his tracks. Ash continues swinging his fists, oblivious to the fact that he isn't getting anywhere.)
James: Bug off!
(He flicks Ash in the forehead. The twerp goes sprawling.)
Meowth: Let's get goin', or are ya all gonna stand around and wait for dat Pikachu to wake up?
Jesse: Right! Let's go!
(Jesse and James push aside some bushes and reveal an armored car. They all hop in.)
Misty: Can I drive?
Jesse: Maybe later. Right now we need to roll!
(They speed away. Ash futilely chases after them, then wails in despair.)
Ash: PIKACHU!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!
(Soon, we see the car pulling up in front of the Viridian Gym.)
James: Come on!! Let's go!!
(They rush inside. Soon they stand meekly before a shadowy figure.)
Figure: What do you want and who is she? (points at Misty)
Jesse: Uh, well, we, uh . . .
James: We finally caught Pikachu!!!!!
Figure: So you actually succeeded at a mission?
Meowth: Dat's right! And she's our new recruit!!
Figure: Is that so?
James: Yes, sir. And she helped us get Pikachu!
Jesse: Yes, she distracted the twerp while we got this powerful Pikachu!
Figure: Well, you're obviously very talented if you can help these two nitwits complete a mission. Congratulations, and welcome to Team Rocket!
(He stands, offers his hand for a shake, and his face is hit by a ray of light. J, J, & Meowth all gasp because this is the first time anyone has clearly seen his face. He is truly BEYOND HANDSOME!!! Jesse fixes her hair, grins, and giggles. She blushes and starts hyperventilating.)
Figure: By the way, I'm Giovanni. And you are . . .?
Misty: So glad I left Ash!!
Misty: Uh, I, uh, mean . . . Misty! Yeah, that's my name! Misty! It's, um, really nice to meet you!
Giovanni: Truly, it's my pleasure.
(He gallantly kisses her hand. She starts giggling insanely. Jesse becomes infuriated. She can barely keep from slugging Misty. Instead, she kicks Meowth.)
(Suddenly, a voice comes over the intercom.)
Voice: Giovanni! That's enough!!
Misty: (to herself) That voice! I've heard it somewhere before! But where?
Voice: Stop flirting with the new recruit and get out of my desk!!
Giovanni: Sir? I wasn't informed you were back yet! So I guess you're finished helping out beginning trainers?
Voice: (no longer over intercom, now it's just outside the door) I am not finished helping them. For who would ever suspect that the real mastermind behind Team Rocket is none other than . . .
(Doors fling open. Figure steps into light.)
Misty: PROFFESSOR OAK?!?!?!
James: The Professer Oak who's been helping the brats?!
Prof. Oak: I've never had any intentions of helping that little runt. I merely shepherded him along so that Pikachu would become powerful and valuble. Your mission was just a distraction; I could have taken it back any time I wanted.
Jesse: Our mission was a FAKE?! We suffered not only having to follow that twerp around but LOSING to him all the time for NOTHING?!?
(Prof. Oak laughs demonically.)
Prof. Oak: I found your miserable attempts quite amusing. Now, however, you will be assigned another mission that is more suited to your incomptent abilities. And do not call me Professer Oak. That foolish name was concocted to cover my true identity.
(There is a pause.)
Misty: Well, what IS your true identity?
Prof. Oak: It's . . . (dramatic pause) . . . GARY!
(Prof. Oak strips away his disguise, revealing that he is, indeed, Ash's much-hated rival!)
Gary: Ever wondered why you never saw me and my "grandfather" together? Well now you know! I have bided my time, and now my wait is over! Revenge is mine! BWAHAHAHA!!!
Misty: Revenge on who?
(Gary blinks and looks confused.)
Gary: Ummmmm . . .
James: You mean you don't know?
Jesse: Our whole ORGANIZATION is a fake!
Gary: Quiet, fool! The organization is not fake! I merely forgot his name!
Jesse: So what is his name?
Gary: His name is . . . (pauses for effect) Alexander Ketchum!!
Misty: Ketchum! That means he must be—
(Gary cuts her off.)
Gary: Ash's father. Yes. Didn't you ever wonder why I hated Ash so much?
Misty: Well, no. We pretty much thought it was because you were a jerk.
Pikachu: (starting to recover) Pika . . .? (sees Gary and becomes angry) PIKA!!
(Quickly, Gary whips out a pokeball and siphons Pikachu in.)
James: I thought Ash had Pikachu's pokeball!
Gary: Ash had the pokeball I wanted him to have. This one is Pikachu's REAL pokeball. Don't forget, I'M the one who gave Pikachu to Ash! I'M Pikachu's true owner!!
Misty: Why'd you give it to Ash?
Gary: I didn't want to train the dinky little electric rodent. Didn't think it was worthwhile enough to keep, so I let Ash raise it for me.
James: Good strategy.
Gary: Yes, Ashy-boy raised it better than I dared to hope. He's almost as good as his father was.
Gary: Yes. Was.
Misty: You mean he's . . .? (she is unable to say "dead") (as angry as she is at Ash, she is not mad enough to want his father to be dead) Did you . . .?
Gary: Kill him? Of course I did. I capped him like Old Yeller. But I will say this: he was a worthy adversary. It's actually a shame. He deserved a better end.
Misty: But what did you do to him?
Gary: It was very tragic. I told him his shoe was untied and booted him in the rear over a cliff. Everyone thought it was such a terrible accident.
(Pikachu's pokeball shakes.)
Gary: YOU be quiet!
Jesse: Don't worry, Boss, we'll get that runt for you!
Gary: No need. He's already taken care of.
James: By whom?
Gary: I sent Butch and Cassidy after him. THEY won't screw it up.
(Jesse and James wail and fall over.)
Jesse: Our reputation . . . our mission taken over by that bimbo . . .
Misty: (to herself) I've gotta warn Ash! I may be mad at him, but he's still my friend! (she tries to sneak out without being noticed)
James: Hey, where are you going?
(Misty kicks him and flees. She takes Team Rocket's armored car.)
Misty: I hope I'm not too late!
(Meanwhile . . .)
Ash: Untie me you jerks!
Butch: Yeah, right!
(Cassidy finds a payphone and starts to dial through to Rocket HQ. Suddenly, we see a shadow racing over a hill. As it gets bigger we can see that it's Misty in the car. Cassidy sees it as well, but is unable to leave the booth before it is flattened by Misty, who is most definitely speeding. She races into the clearing where she hears Ash yelling at Butch.)
Ash: Let me go! I challenge you to a Pokemon match!
Butch: Isn't it kinda pointless to challenge me since I have all your pokemon?
(Misty screeches to a halt and flies through her open window, knocking into Butch. Ash's pokeballs go flying, and Butch does three and a half flips before he hits a tree.)
Misty: (picking up the pokeballs) I'm sorry Ash! I shouldn't have betrayed you! But you'll never believe what I found out at HQ!!
(Misty unties him and binds up Butch with the rope.)
Ash: (taking his pokeballs from Misty) What did you find out?
Misty: Well, I met the head of team rocket, but he wasn't REALLY the one in charge . . . (she procedes to recount all that has happened as she pulls him into the car)
Ash: Where are we going?
Misty: I don't know, but we've gotta get out of here!
(They start to drive away when suddenly they cannot move forward. Team Rocket has arrived and anchored them to a tree. Misty and Ash try to flee on foot, but they are caught and tied up.)
Gary: Well, well, well . . . I suppose you know the truth now, huh, Ashy-boy?
Ash: Yeah, I know all about you.
Gary: Well, I guess you know too much . . . (raises a gun)
Gary: OK. (points the gun at her)
(Misty closes her eyes and tries to be brave. When after a few moments, no shot has been fired, she gingerly opens her eyes . . . suddenly, Gary shoots!!)
(A flag pops out of the gun bearing the word, "Bang!")
All Except Misty: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! GOTCHA!!!!!!!
(Brock and some Playboy bunnies come out from behind the trees. Professor Oak and Ash's mom step out as well. Gary unties Ash and they shake hands.)
Ash: Good job, Gary! You're a great actor!
Gary: You're not too bad either, Ash!!
Ash: (untying Misty) Happy April Fools Day, Misty!
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