My Favorite totally scientific on my momma facts about Sloths
check this goofy bastard out. what a totally thuggin gangsta, sweet!
The bitches love this sloth!
This man know how totally awesome sloths are and he is trying to be one, what a retard!
This thug is totally chilling in a tree. Sloths have big fights over trees and totally claw each other's faces off and urinate acid all over each other, whatever!
Sloths are so sweet that they can walk upside down anytime they want to, penis!
Look how cute this sloth is! Its so cute and cuddly and its just giving that kid a hug. I'll tell you what kid, you better watch it cuz that badass is about to knife you in the throat with his totally gnarly claws, word up!
Check out this momma sloth and its baby. They are having a goofy grin contest. Male sloths have mating contests too. They intertwine their arms and then go at it and the first one to knife the other in the nads totally gets the chick, bitchin!
This male sloth is getting pumped up for mating contest. Check out the totally badass look on his face, sweet! Sloths usually listen to music so they can pumped up for some crotch knifing. I bet this guy is listening to AC/DC because they are the only humans that are even close to as being as badass as sloths!
I bet you think this sloth is just a lazy bastard, but wrongo! He may be stuck in a cage, but he is planning out his totally gangsta escape right now. When sloths spread their legs like that, it means they are preparing for the ULTIMATE attack, acid urinate. He's about to spew acid all over the camera man and claw his puny face off, awesome!
This picture totally makes me want to crap my pants. It captures the sloth right before he slashes these moron's faces apart with some crazy kung foo move! Look at the fear in their eyes, gnarly!
You guys remember Alf? That guy was gay, this sloth would totally kick his ass!
One of the totally sweet things about sloths is that they are covered in algae. These algae covered beasts are preparing for battle. If you are in the jungle you can always hear the badass cries of the different sloth gangs as they claw each other apart and urinate acid. Sometimes gangs will put one sloth on a young tree so its all bendy and wiegh it down and launch the sloth off like a catapult. He totally flies over the forest and completely wrecks the other gang. Humans ain't got squabbles like that!
This sloth is totally pissed! He was totally just sleeping and that dickwad with the camera just came and woke him up so he could take some pictures. Sloths spend so much of their time moving real slow and fighting in gang wars that they get real tired and need their beauty sleep. This gangsta is totally gonna flip out and knife this man in the crotch with his badass claws, watch out bitches!
Don't worry this sloth isn't possessed by the devil like that chick in The Exorcist, sloths can rotate their heads 270 degrees like owls. I bet if a sloth fought an owl it would kick its ass. The owl would be so intimidated by the sloths slow movements and goofy grins that it would just try to fly away. But if the owl was chained to the ground the sloth would totally rip its wings off, wierd!
This sloth is so pimp! Look at the way he gelled his algae covered hair. Sloths do this sometimes when its around mating season to attract the hottest chicks for three days of sweet sweet whooppee. Usually when other male sloths see a gelled up sloth they skip the usual nad knifing and just let the gelled hair guy get it on, how honorable!
Look at this sloth go! What a kickass dancer. When sloths get tired of swimming breast stroke and stupid grin contests they dance. But unlike Asian guys they don't have dance dance revolution so they have break dancing contests. My friend Kevin participated in one of these breakdancing contests when he was in Costa Rica. The sloths totally out danced him, but that is still pretty bragable.
My Favorite Web Sites
a totally sweet page about sloths