Lost souls

Okay, I just have to say this: I didn't know I was able to write anything like this at all myself. I usually hate stories like this, and WHY I wrote it, or HOW I was able to is a mystey even for me. If you ask me to judge it, I would say that it is a good piece of writing, but it's NOT a good Team Rocket fanfic!
This is a very dark, very depressing story, don't say I didn't warn you, for I did! And please don't flame me for it either.

********

He found her by the cliff, standing at the very edge.

"Why do you do this?" he said to her, and she slowly turned.

"I guess I can tell you. You're not able to stop me anyway." She answered and sat down on the rain - soaked stone.

"You see, there wasn't always times like this..."

********

"James, your dimwit! Idiot! Goddamned fool! This was your fault!" her voice told them. The thick feeling of thunder was in the air.

"What?!" he said in disbelief.

"You heard me! If it hadn't been for you screwing up as usual, we would have Pikachu a long time ago, and... and..." her voice was shivering in anger, but for once James didn't take the guild.

"You know what? I wonder why I even care being here! I can get any other partner, not the bitch I'm assigned with!" he shouted back at her.

"So why don't you?! I'm much better of on my own!"

He wanted to tell them to be quiet, to shut up, to hug each other, anything but this. And he knew he couldn't.

********

"Meowth, the first time we met... We was ten, and... alone, I guess, both of us. No other kids wanted to be with us, so I ended up with him, and he with me, and since then we've been together every day. You know, not only since we was forced to, but we enjoyed the company in each other, for him, but for me..." she said quietly. The rain was beginning to surrender for the wind.

"He was my soulmate, if you understand. Him, and me....I thought we was meant to be together. It seemed so right. I couldn't leave him, and I believed he couldn't leave me either. But I was wrong."

********

"You know what, I think you are right! I have stuck with you in all these years, trying to revive the Jessie I once knew, but now I see that it is a battle lost long ago!"

He didn't really get what he talked about. The Jessie he once knew? Well, that had to be what Jessie was like before they joined Team Rocket.

"What are you talking about?" she shrieked demandingly.

"You know what! Once you wasn't like this! Once you was a person who could laugh, and cry, and think about others then herself! But now, well, look at you! You cannot even admit your own mistakes..."

"Do you say that this was MY fault?"

"Yes, I do!"

And then she slapped him.

********

"I think it all started when we joined Team Rocket. It just when we started to grow up. I.. it seems so weird, for in some ways, he didn't change at all from the boy I knew..."

Just a few raindrops was hitting them now, but the wind was increasing.

"I think I started to get this anger, hate... I hated my life. I had to join Team Rocket there never was any choice for me, and I hated it all. It was criminals, stealing. But I could take that. I could get used to it. But...I changed. To survive I had to get tough. And to get tough I had to stop being a child..."

********

It wasn't that she hadn't hit him before, but that had never been anything serious. The only time before she really had slapped him was when she calmed him down to save his life.

Back then she still had cared. Then, she still had showed that she had other feelings than hate, and greed, and anger.

And now she had slapped him. Not like a teasing little thing, but really slapping, his face was thrown to the side by the force of the hit. Not a sound came from his lips when she did, but he slowly raised one hand to his read cheek.

A muffled thunder could be heard far away.

********

The rain was disappeared by now.

"I started to get hard. Not like Giovanni, he is evil, or Cassidy, but...I had to. I started to hide to others what I was like inside. Just gave away the mean, nasty Jessie. But the mistake was, I did the same to James." She whispered.

"And he knew it was only an act at first, but I guess I shouldn't had hid it from him the way I did. I thought he knew me better than that. I started to treat him like all the others. I have been so mean to him..."

********

He looked at her. Her eyes was still as angry as they had been, but his anger was gone.

"Yes, it is over. I tried and tried, countless times, to show you that you could trust me, that you didn't have to act in front of me..." he said calmly, staring at her. "But now I give up. It isn't any hope for you, Jessica. Your heart is gone."

It was a hardness in his voice, a sense of steel Meowth never had heard before.

"I cannot give you any more tries now, I gave you far too many. The Jessie I came to love all these years ago doesn't exist any more, and I am tired of searching for her, I'm sick of it!" She didn't seem to mind, but glared at him with her fists clenched.

********

She slowly rose again. The wind was threatening to tore her over the edge by now.

"Pikachu was the edge, I think. It was so frustrating, always hunting the same thing, so weak and easy to get, and we never did. Deep inside, I didn't want to either. The love between they brat and his Pokèmon... I felt that I couldn't break their hearts, but at the same time, I cursed my self for being so weak."

She faced the ocean now, the dark clouds still in the horizon.

"I counted on that James never would leave me, that I was the same for him as he was for me. But in the end, I wasn't. And you see, there is a reason for me not doing this all these years ago, when all this hell started, and that reason was him. His friendship and his love, the two things that kept me going for all this time. And now they both are gone."

********

He silently walked up to her.

"I guess I'll never know what it was you wanted so badly, and I couldn't give you. If it is money, or power, then you still have your chance getting it. But love, Jessie dear, you'll never get. Not before you can open your heart, and I don't think you'll do ever again."

He paused for a moment and pulled a rose from his pocket.

"Best friends, Jessie, for all these years, and you still couldn't give the little trust I needed, we both needed. I'm leaving, for you don't have any more use for me in your life." He said and handed her the rose, with no expression in his face.

She angrily grabbed it, and then smashed it into the ground and stomped it flat.

He looked at her one last time, before he turned and left.

The rain began to fall.

********

"No, Meowth, there is nothing that can get me from jumping now. I hope you'll never forget me, or at least that you one day will understand that Jessie just was a little girl somewhere inside her soul. I love you, in a strange way, but that cannot compare to what I lost..." she said and spread her arms, like she was going to fly.

"For now I realize..." the wind blew down her hair in her face, "That I didn't just loose him. I lost my self as well." She whispered, and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Her feet kicked away from the stone, and her body began to fall silently towards the raging water beneath.

She didn't scream, or tremble, she just silently fell. He saw her body hit the water, saw her sink, and then surface again, being smashed into a rock. The green waves threw her body, so tiny among themselves, to the rock again, and again and again, until they at last seemed to have enough of it. He saw her body float one last time, until she finally sunk, her red hair the last thing to disappear from his sight.