The 151 Pokemon Battle Royale 2000 by Blastoise1124 Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon or any of its characters blah blah blah yada yada yada........ I'm pretty sure we all know what the standard disclaimer is like, so I'm not gonna waste anymore time. Note: I consider this my best fanfiction. I'm pretty darn sure someone's gonna hate it, but eh, what do I care? IF you are among the many that hate it or if you're one of the few that actually liked it, e-mail me at pl112488@msn.com with your comments, complaints, suggestions, questions, rants, viruses, letterbombs, death threats and anything else you would like to include in your e-mail. _____________________________________________________________________________ The stadium shook from the roar of the thousands and thousands of trainers and rabid Pokemon that came there to witness history. They were all waving signs, yelling their lungs out, insulting each other and/or placing bets. And up in the announce booth... Ash: The stadium is packed! It's reaching noise levels of a Britney Spears concert and it's just as crowded! We're all here today for a special once-in-a-lifetime event that will change the history of Pokemon. Trainers, pokemon and escaped convicts alike, they've gathered here by the thousands to cheer on their favorite pokemon in a knock-down, drag-out, no holds barred free for all to the finish! Gary: That's right Ash! The sold-out Pokemon League arena will hold the most bloodiest, goriest, most mind-boggling battle in the Pokemon world! This is no ordinary match. From the official Pokemon League Arena atop Indigo Plateau, we proudly present..... Ash and Gary: THE 151 POKEMON BATTLE ROYALE 2000!!!!!!!!!! Gary: I'm Gary Oak. Ash: And I'm Ash Ketchum. Gary: Now Ash, how did this event come to take place? Ash: It all started 3 months ago, when Nintendo made a poll and asked you to vote for the best Pokemon of all time. The final results: Mew and Mewtwo were tied for first for all-time best. Gary: So the poll results were sent out, but a lot of people who voted for other Pokemon like Articuno, Charizard, Dragonite and even Caterpie were not very happy with the results. Ash: So these pompous, whining, bags of monkey crap called Nintendo and demanded to change the results. Gary: And so Nintendo made a battle royale that would challenge the strength, endurance, intelligence and heart of each of the 151 pokemon that would determine who was #1. Ash: The rules are pretty simple. The last one living wins. All the others get turned into dog food or barbequed. Gary: Also, we've placed a few "weapons" in the arena to help each Pokemon bash the brains out of each other. Ash: In the arena there are 30 steel chairs, 20 wooden tables, 50 garbage cans, 40 baseball bats, 15 ladders, 50 pounds of explosives, and a couple of flamethrowers. Gary: And to make it fair, a huge cage will be placed onto the arena so a cowardly flying pokemon don't fly away. The Pokemon are to get into the cage and proceed to beat the living snot out of each other. The weapons will be hanging from the top of the cage on thin wires. And as an extra bonus, we've been starving, teasing and singing off-key to the Pokemon so they'll duke it out in a more frenzied pace. Ash: In other words, it's hell in a cell! Gary: It looks like it's time for the opening ceremonies! Each Pokemon will make their way to the arena in a Pokeball so that they don't start killing audience members. A guy wearing a gray shirt and overalls wheels a crate full of Pokeballs to the cage. He begins throwing them into it. Ash: Cuz they're deranged, homicidal maniacs. Gary: We received some hatemail about how immoral and unethical it is to pit 151 crazy psychopathic monsters in a cage with weapons of mass destruction against each other. Ash: Well here's what we gotta say to you people: Ash and Gary: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????!!!! Gary: Obviously, these people have no sense of violence or entertainment. Remember, we asked each Pokemon beforehand if they wanted to fight. These Pokemon agreed to kill each other just for glory. Ash: And as an added incentive, the lone survivor gets their very own weapon of mass destruction. They get their choice of a C-16 Perdition Flamethrower, an A-13 Flash Grenade Launcher, or a 6mm Impaler Gauss Rifle. Gary: It looks like all the Pokemon are in the cage. As an added precaution, we've tranquilized each of these monsters with Sleep Powder. Ash: It looks like it's gonna wear off any second now. Gary: Our referee Brock will keep track and announce the victor at the end of the fight. Brock: Ready, Set, FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the Pokemon wake up at once. They start going at each other, biting, clawing, punching and basically trying to cause great bodily harm to each other. Ash: And they're off! Each Pokemon is fighting for its life as they go at each other all-out! Tentacruel starts suffocating Cubone and Pidgey. Their limb bodies fall to the ground. Then Tentacruel gets Thunderbolted by an Electabuzz and dies. Ash: And Electabuzz just fried Tentacruel into oblivion, but not before the big octopus thing takes out 2 other Pokemon. Snorlax eats Beedrill, Venonat, Butterfree, Scyther, Pinsir and accidently swallows a Machop. Gary: And the big lumbering giant has just had bugs and a Machop for a snack! Sandslash slices Magmar's head off and proceeds to slash viciously at Raticate until the rat dies of blood loss. Ash: And Sandslash slices and dices Magmar and Raticate! Pikachu fries Fearow, Pidgeot, Farfetch'd and Pidgeotto, while Kabutops decapitates Bulbasaur. Gary: That's another 5 Pokemon gone! Primeape has made it to the top and grabs a chair. He smashes Marowak, Ivysaur, Raichu and Vulpix with it and their skulls crack open. Ash: Primeape is the first to have a weapon and killed 4 more Pokemon! Articuno freezes Poliwag and pecks Sandshrew to death. Moltres burns Oddish to a crisp and dives bombs Machoke, killing it. Zapdos Thundered Dugtrio and Drill Pecked Exeggcutor. Gary: And the Legendary Birds are holding their own against these wild and deranged critters! Meanwhile Primeape takes down Diglett, Sandslash, Mankey and Mr. Mime with its chair, but then gets Horn Drilled by Rhydon. Then Kingler Guillotines Rhydon, thus killing it. Ash: And the chair-wielding Primeape has fallen to a Rhydon! Poliwrath picks up Exeggcute and throws them at Vileplume and Bellsprout. But unfortunately, Gloom and Weepinbell kill Poliwrath, which in turn get burned by Rapidash, who crashed into Rhyhorn, killing both. Gary: And 8 more Pokemon are out of the battle! Hitmonlee climbs to the top and gets a table. It sets it up, grabs Victreebel and slams it through the table. But then it got Psybeamed by Kadabra, which got Psybeamed by Alakazam. Then Shellder Ice Beamed Alakazam, but got electrocuted by a Magnemite. Unfortunately for Magnemite, Voltorb and Electrode selfdestructed at the same time, killing it along with Ponyta, Rapidash, Magikarp, Metapod, Kakuna, Caterpie, Weedle, Jynx, Kangaskhan, Dratini, Tangela, Poliwhirl, Cloyster, Seel, Dewgong, Horsea, Seedra, Charmander, Squirtle, Wartortle, Onix, Omanyte, Omastar, Persian and Kabuto! Ash: The bodies are falling like flies! Hitmonchan climbs up the cage and grabs a ladder. It sets it up on the floor and climbs to the top of it. Then it jumps down and squashes Slowpoke. Unfortunately, the jump also killed Hitmonchan as well. Gary: That was really stupid. Ash: Almost suicidal. Meowth gets killed by Growlithe, but then Growlithe gets killed by Blastoise. Unfortunately, Blastoise gets decapitated by Kabutops, which gets Take Downed by Arcanine, killing them both. Gary: 5 more Pokemon down! Gyaradoes Hyper Beams Charmeleon and Drowzee, then Dragon Rages Nidorino and Nidorina. Nidoking and Nidoqueen gang up on Gyaradoes and kills it, then kills each other. Ash: Look at all the blood and guts all over the arena! Both Nidorans get roasted by Ninetales, but then Ninetales got killed by Machamp, whp had a basball bat. Gary: Now Machamp has a weapon! Machamp goes around hitting and killing Venomoth, Jigglypuff (who for some reason didn't sing), Clefairy, Clefable, Ekans, Arbok, Koffing, Weezing, Chansey and Tauros. Ash: And Machamp is cleaning the house! Then Machamp hits a Wigglytuff, knocking it unconscious on the ground. It throws the bat away, kicks Wigglytuff's arms straight and does "The People's Elbows" to Wigglytuff. Gary: And Machamp has just dropped a "People's Elbows" on Wigglytuff! Amazing! Snorlax grabs Machamp and eats him, along with Aerodactyl, Dragonair, Zubat, Golbat, Paras, Parasect, Electabuzz and Seaking for dessert. Ash: Snorlax has eaten 15 Pokemon! Can anyone stop him and his appetite? Articuno, Moltres and Zapdos freeze, burn and paralyze Snorlax. Then they start feasting on the flesh of the fallen giant. Gary: And finally, the 3 legendary birds stop Snorlax and they start to eat the half ton of blubber! How ironic! Geodude grabs a flamethrower and melts Articuno. Then it Rock Throws Moltres and flamethrowers Zapdos. Ash: And Geodude the rock pokemon has just taken out the Legendary Birds. BOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! Geodude, Graveler, and Golem all selfdestruct at the same time, blowing up parts of the cage and sending bodies flying. Gary: Whoa!!! The 3 rock pokemon all exploded at the same time, killing dozens of Pokemon! Ash: Let's see whose left after the dust clears. After the dust clears, only 2 Pokemon still stand. Grimer and Krabby. Grimer Pounds Krabby. Krabby Water Guns Grimer. Then Grimer and Krabby both get garbage cans and start to bash each other viciously with them. Suddenly, Krabby sets off 500 lbs of explosives somehow and the cage explodes, blasting Pokemon bodies into crunchy kibbles. A few audience members get body parts as souvenirs. Ash: No one could've withstood that blast! Gary: There is no winner! Brock searches the pile of bodies and guts and puddles of blood for a survivor. Suddenly, Abra teleports into the arena. Brock looks suprised, then raises Abra's hand in victory. Ash: WHAT??????????!!!!!!!!!!! ABRA????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gary: It must have teleported to somewhere safe, then teleported back when the bloodbath was over! Ash: Oh well. Abra is now the best Pokemon of all time, due to its cleverness and telportation abilities! Gary: Yeah, but can't Kadabra and Alakazam teleport too? Ash: They could, but they were too busy fighting. Abra doesn't have any fighting skills, so it took the easy way out. Gary: Ahhhh.... Ash: This is Ash Ketchum. Gary: And this is Gary Oak. Ash and Gary: Saying so long from the sold-out Pokemon League Stadium. Have a nice day! !THE END!