Battles:16-20
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Battles:16-20

These battles were written when I converted to the once a week format and the harsher battle quality was inforced. If you look carefully you'll notice that some of these battles sucked. The reason for this was that during those weeks I had many things to do and we had Home Ec(not good for humor). Fanfic #1 is aslo included here.

Battles:


Battle #20: Department Store Disaster
Location: An Average School Department Store
Player: Glu , Your Average School Department Store Employee



Well it is just another day for GLU, YOUR AVERAGE SCHOOL DEPARTMENT STORE EMPLOYEE!
AVERAGE SCHOOL DEPARTMENT STORE CUSTOMER appeared!
ASDSC wants to-
Buy are new and improved Penpencil? That will be 1,000!
NARRATOR thought it WAS supposed to BE yen!
That was so five seconds ago Euros are HOT!
NARRATOR didn't KNOW symbols HAD a TEMPERATURE!
Idiot.
ASDSC coughs!
Cough?! Seemed more like a hack he might need some cough medicine.
ASDSC wants YOUR attention!
Really? Well its gonna cost you.
ASDSC facefaults!
ASDSC: NO YOU IDIOTIC PERSON! I just want to return this STALE TOFU VIVI PLUSHIE!
Oh did you get that from Deb's House of Snowcones, Tofu, Stale food, and Vivi Merchandise that was strangely attacked by that swarm of rapid evil lady bugs that had a sugar rush that is just across the street?
ASDSC nods!
Well can I see the receipt then?
ASDSC nods!
Hmm.. nope I can't take it since this doesn't come from my store.
ASDSC: But you must this Mummy of Phaoroh Sky-
Ler?
ASDSC: No Skytep, must be a relative. Any hoo wants me to return this or he will use three curses on me!
Does he look like that mummy outside the door in the parking lot that is currently covered with fog at high noon?
ASDSC: Yep.
Well than were in trouble.
SKYTEP: Return the plushie or you suffer three curses each worst then the last.
Trust me it can't be any worse then Sailor Moon re-runs.
SKYTEP smirks!
ASDSC: Hey a picture of Grape Jello that was on the back of this just faded away.
GRAPE JELLO is POURING in from ALL the FAUCETS!
Jeeves this guy is and idiot.
JEEVES?
Yes Jeeves.
ASK JEEVES-
BRITANICA DOT COM IS BETTER!
...
HOW much WERE you PAYED to the SAY that?
Alot more then you were.
ASDSC coughs!
You know you really should see a doctor for that.
NARRATOR notes that YOUR BEING DROWENED by GRAPE jello!
No I'm not Skytep is.
SKYTEP: WHAT?!
SKYTEP drowned!
SKYTEP activated the LAST two curses in HIS death!
RADIO turned ON!
Oh no.
RADIO: BACKSTREETS BACK ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! HERE WE GO NOW WERE BACK AGAIN-
DIE TOOL OF THE DEVIL DIE DIE DIE!
GLU is REPEATIDLY smashing THE radio!
ASDC ran OUTSIDE in FEAR!
ASDC was IMMIEDIATLY devoured BY a SWARM OF EVIL RABID LADYBUGS ON A SUGAR RUSH!
Too bad and I didn't get my money.
What GLU, YOUR AVERAGE SCHOOL DEPARTMENT STORE EMPLOYEE is evolving!
GLU, YOUR AVERAGE SCHOOL DEPARTMENT STORE EMPLOYEE evolved into SUPERGLU, YOUR NOT SO AVERAGE SCHOOL DEPARTENT STORE EMPLOYEE!
Yes now I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! MUHAHAHA-*hack* *cough* Dang I caught that customers Cold.
...
What no pun?


Why did this battle suck? What in the world does SuperGlu have to do with the plot? Why didn't the Narrator use a pun? Why won't I shutup? Why are you leaving? HEY GET BACK HERE!


>Veiw/Post Comments on Battle #20


Click here to read the FanFic



Battle #19: The Title is urrh... DANG TITLE'S BLOCK!
Location: Dark City Ruins...
Player: Mitch, Paladin



Yes now my strategy is perfect I cannot fail MUHAHAHA!
CITIZEN: Your turn..
NOW I SHALL NEVER LOSE! Got any three's?
CITIZEN: Go fish.
NOOOOO!
WHAT in the NAME of DOOMPUFF are YOU doing?
Playing Go Fish? What does it look like?
WELL honestly IT looks MORE like POKER!
O.o Riight.. Anyway you want in on the action?
YEAH sure JUST DEAL m- WAIT a MINUTE aren't YOU supposed TO be BATTLING BILLY JO?
WHERE is that LITTLE PINICHIO thing ANYWAY?
I think he's terrorizing Dragona in Armor...
PORTAL TO ARMOR appeared!
BILLY JO was KICKED through!
BILLY JO was PELTED with LOTs of HOUSE HOLD objects!
BILLY JO: Hey OWCH you could hurt some-OWIE A LAMPOST-one with tho-MY FOOT OH THE PAIN-se things!
She's hit him with everything except the kitchen sink...
BILLY JO: -_-; You just had to say that didn't you?
Hehehe..
LEGENDARY_DRAGONA threw the KITCHEN SINK at HIM!
BILLY JO: OWW MY HEAD OH THE PAIN THE PAIN!
LEGENDARY_DRAGONA: GET OUT AND STAY OUT!
PORTAL TO ARMOR vanished!
BILLY JO: I'LL BE BACK MUHAHAHAHA!
You done?
BILLY JO: Yes...
WELL its about TIME!
NOW I'LL go get the BATTLE music!
Fine...
BILLY JO: Hurry up..
NARRATOR apppeared!
NARRATOR places HTML!
MUSIC is HERE!
Intresting start yet it sounds familiar....
BILLY JO: Yeah..
Now I remember thats from-
MITCH'S cowers in PAIN!
ARGG! THE PAIN! TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!
NARRATOR would if HE could!
What do you mean bye that?
WEBVIEWERS enjoy THE SONG!
THEREFORE I can not STOP IT!
WELL THAT IS JUST SICK WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THEM!
MITCH got his HANDS on THEM!
HANDS are STRANGLING IMMORTUS!
HOLD IT!
MITCH used HOLD IT!
MITCH held TIME!
Ewwww... time feels all squishy...
MITCH dropped TIME!
TIME stopped TEMPORARILY!
Since when could I do that anyway?
WHEN puns PERMIT!
Back to the subject at hand. How can I be strangling IMMORTUS, THE ALMIGHTY WEBMASTER THAT CAN NOT BE KILLED when its Friday not Sunday?
WELL, YOU see IMMORTUS-
THE ALMIGHTY WEBMASTER THAT CANNOT BE KILLED!
-reads THIS battle IT will be HAPPENING on SUNDAY!
Yet it is being wrote Friday.
BUT it is BEING read on SUNDAY therefore IT IS HAPPENING on SUNDAY!
But its Friday..
ITS being READ on SUNDAY therefore it HAPPENS on SUNDAY!
ARGH! Its a Paradox!
PARADOX appeared!
PARADOX created a TIME-WARP in the FUTURE!
Wheres the Time-Warp I don't see it..
THE TIME-WARP is in THE FUTURE!
You mean there's a Paradox here but it create's a Time-Warp in the Future?
CORRECT!
Argh... My head hurts.. Wheres Billy Jo and that Citizen?
BILLY JO ran away AND CITIZEN spontaneously COMBUSTED from SAILOR MOON MUSIC!
Yeah Thank Immortus that stopped..
NARRATOR reminds you ITS still ON!
NOOOOO MY EARS!


Where did Billy Jo go to? What will happen to Mitch? Tune in next time for the latest POKEBATTLE!


>Post/View Comments on Eclipse Battle #19


Battle #18: Doompuff Spin-off in a Larger then Normal City
Location: Secret Military Base
Player: General Specific



Thats Secret Military Beanie Baby Factory.
WEREN'T you a SECRET MILITARY BAKERY?
Yes, but Beanie Babies are so much funner!
FUNNER isn't a WORD!
Sure it is, its in my "Non-Existant Words fo Dummys" book only $99.99 avialable in any store void where prohibited.
HEY! ADEVERTISING is MY job! ANYWAY lets get on WITH the PLOT!
PLOT DEVICE appeared!
No NOT you!
PLOT DEVICE: Awww...
PLOT DEVICE walked away!
Right.. now I need a clever plan to capture Doompuff....
...
I said, A CLEVER PLAN TO CAPTURE DOOMPUFF.!
MAD SCIENTIST appeared!
MAD SCIENTIST: You don't have to shout. Hey wait a minute... I AM A ANGRY SCIENTIST NOT A
MAD SCIENTIST!
Ok Mad Scientist what is your clever plot advancing plan to capture Doompuff.?
MAD SCIENTIST: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM AN MAD SCIENTIST NOT A ANGRY SCIENTIST! ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY!
MAD SCIENTIST was RENAMED to ANGRY SCIENTIST!
Are YOU happy NOW?
ANGRY SCIENTIST: Better, now my Brilliant plan to capture Doompuff. is to use a Mechinical Chicken
robot to attract Doompuff. to us and use its advanced weaponry to capture him!
Does it have any charts?
ANGRY SCIENTIST: No..
FORE GOODNESS SAKES MAN EVERY GOOD PLAN NEEDS SOME CHARTS, GET TO MAKING THEM IMMIEDATLY!
ANGRY SCIENTIST: Fine, rasin frackin..
Private Private ready the Giant Chicken Mecha.
PRIVATE PRIVATE: Sir!


Location: Lost Desert of Semi-Dispair..
Player: Lost Guy



So thirsty need water..
OXYMORON SALESMAN apeared!
OXYMORON SALESMAN: Do ever find your self in need of water in a Lost Desert of Semi-Dispair?
Well look no further! Try Oxymoron Insta-Water tablets just add water! Here try some Lost guy!
LOST guy recieved OXYMORON INSTA-WATER TABLETS!
Uhhh.. where am I supposed to get the water?
OXYMORON SALESMAN: Thats not my problem.
OXYMORON SALES MEN used BACK-HAND!
LOST GUY was BACK-HANDED into a PIT of COBRAS!
OXYMORON SALESMAN: Only $99.95, to get this wonderful product just call 555-555-OXYMORON!
Thats 555-555-OXYMORON!
NARRATOR thinks THAT excedes THE character LIMIT...
AHHHH! HELP ME HELP ME!
LOST DUDE is FLAILING in the BACKROUND!
OXYMORON SALESMAN: Thats 555-555-OXYMORON call now!


Location: Larger then Normal City..
Player: General Specific



Here Doompuff. Here Doompuff.!
GENERAL SPECIFIC is CALLING in HIS large CHICKEN MECHA!
ANGRY SCIENTIST: Hey! Why am I making all these charts then?
BECAUSE that is YOUR only purpose!
ANGRY SCIENTIST: You sure?
YES!
ANGRY SCIENTIST: Alright then back to work!
Now where is that Doompuff.?
DOOMPUFF. appeared!
Yes now Private Private hit the big red shiny button!
PRIVATE PRIVATE: The one marked Self-Destruct Sir?
Yes that one.
PRIVATE PRIVATE: Ok sir.
PRIVATE PRIVATE hit THE BIG RED PURD-
DEB&SKYLER used SUE!
ECLIPSE WEBMASTER will now be SUED!
ERR... SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON!
SECRET MILITARY CREW were FLUNG AWAY!
DOOMPUFF. is UN-HARMED!
Stupid Mad-
ANGRY SCIENTIST: Thats Angry!
Angry Scientist foiled my plan now I most resort to my most last resort.
PRIVATE PRIVATE: You mean?
Yes the.. PLOT DEVICE BUM BUM BUM!
PLOT DEVICE appeared!
YES he MEANT you!
PLOT DEVICE: YAY!
PLOT DEVICE whispered ITS secret PLAN!



Location: Larger then Normal City
Player: Doompuff.



DOOMPUFF. has COME from a LONG hard day SELLING sand at THE BEACH!
Doom period dot dot puff!
PERIOD DOT?
DOT DOT PERIOD!
RIGHT...
DOOMPUFF. turned a CORNER!
GENERAL SPECIFIC&CREW threw a large BLANKET over DOOMPUFF.!
Dot....
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Yes your plan worked Plot Device!
PLOT DEVICE: Yay!
GENERAL SPECIFIC&CREW dance!
FOOLS appeared!
FOOLS danced WITH them!
Period dot dot puff...
DOOMPUFF. threw off the BLANKET!
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Stupid Plot Device your plan failed!
PLOT DEVICE: Awww....
GENERAL SPECIFIC&CREW run away!
DOT DOOM PERIOD DOT DOT PUFF!
DOOMPUFF. is HAPPY!
DOOMPUFF. dances with the FOOLS!
AND they all LIVED happy EVER after!


Location: Eclipse Version Studios's Stage
Player: CrimsonKing



And NOW back BYE semi-POPULAR demand RANTING CRIMSON!
Well now for my daily ranting *gasp* WHAT IS IT WITH ALL THESE DOOMPUFF SPIN-OFFS? AND WHY IS IS IT THAT I'M MEAN AND CRUEL? I'M EVIL TO YOU KNOW! AND ANOTHER THING WHAT IS IT WITH RED SUPPOSEDLY DIEING WHEN IT LIVED? Thank you.
CRIMSONKING took a BOW!

View/Post comments on Battle #18


Battle 17: Errands
Location: Grey Town
Player: CJ



CJ is playing his GAMEBOY
MOM used CALL!
CJ was ALERTED!
CJ walked DOWN stairs!
What do you want?
MOM wants YOU to RUN some ERRANDS!
But mom!
MOM says NO BUTS MISTER!
BUTtons appeared!
BUTtons were SWEEPED under THE rug!
Its super effective!
Best to keep things under the rug eh mom?
MOM hit CJ over the HEAD with a FRYING pan!
MOM says You have now been PUNished!
Where did you get all these Bad Puns anyway?
NARRATOR bought THEM dirt CHEAP at PUNS R US!
WEBMASTER says He would be sued if he could remember where he got that!
Fine fine.. Urrh.. Mom what am i supposed to get again?
NARRATOR and MOM facefault!
MOM says For you to get her the Sudowoodo Super Secret Sauce!
Thats it?
MOM says You have to get to Eclipse Mountain and you only can get
up there if you have beat the Eclipse League Gym Leaders!
You mean I have to do all that so you can MAKE DINNER?!
MOM nods!
Ok then but I will need some sort of Pokemon thing.
MOM hands CJ a POKEBALL!
CJ recived BLUE BOMBERMAN!
Thanks mom. Now lets see we have to pass through Dark City
and on to Cold Town.
CJ heads to DARK CITY!
CJ enters DARK CITY!
Well that was quick.
NARRATOR says YOU only WALKED 3 FEET!
I did hmm... Seemed longer.
CJ notices a CLIMATIC battle BETWEEN two FIGHTERS!
Whoa...

Post Comments on Battle #17


Battle 16: How Ditto36 ate Christmas!
Location: Eclipse Version Studios
Player: Giga



Hello and welcome to the first ever Eclipse
Version Holiday Battle Event. We will be showing an all time
favorite "How Ditto36 ate Christmas".
*cough* ripoff *cough*
-_-' Shutup. Anyway its about a purple
blob of jellys attempt to eat the Peanut's Christmas.
WHICH kind of PEANUT
The EDIBLE kind or the LINUS, CHARLIE BROWN kind?
I don't know surprise me...
NARRATOR chooses the LINUS, CHARLIE BROWN one!
Oh just great. Just start the movie.
The CAMERA zooms IN on THE tv.

Location: Just north of Peanutsville
Player: Ditto36



ALL the PEANUTS loved CHRISTMAS alot!
But DITTO36 ,who LIVES just NORTH of PEANUTSVILLE did NOT!
Thats it?
NARRATOR forgets the REST!
NARRATOR ,however, DOES remember THAT your HEART is 4 SIZES to SMALL!
Thats correct...
NARRATOR suggests SKIPPING to THE part WHERE you EAT christmas!
Agreed.
DITTO36 pulls OUT a LIST!
Sleigh check. Me check. Dog.... Hey where is my dog?
SKYLER appeared!
Bad dog. Now put on this antler and attach yourself to the Sleigh. Now!
SKYLER obeys!
Now lets fly!
DITTO36 hops INTO the SLEIGH!
SLEIGH goes FLYING... off A cliff!
Activate the engines you fool!
ENGINES were ACTIVATED!
SLEIGH crashes INTO SANTA CLAUS!
SANTA CLAUS wants to FIGHT!
SANTA CLAUS sent out RUDOLPH&8REINDEER!
Hmmm..... Go Skyler!
Get'm SKYLER!
R&8R used PUNt!
SKYLER was HIT by a BAD pun!
Its super effective!
SKYLER fainted!
What bad pun? Not that I'm complaining at all...
That PART!
What part?
NARRATOR points TOWARDS higher TEXT!
THAT part!
DITTO36 looks UP as WELL!
Oh that part. Anyway Go me!
Go DITTO36!
Me use eat!
DITTO36 used EAT!
R&8R, all OF the CHRISTMAS presents, and SANTA CLAUS were EATEN!
IN other WORDS, most of CHRISTMAS was EATEN!
What do you mean by most?
NARRATOR notes THAT the PEANUTS had there PRESENTS delivered!
What do you write that in a notebook or some thing?
NARRATOR nods!
Ok.... anyway time to eat the peanuts christmas. MHUHAHA!
DITTO36 lands ON a HOUSE!
SCENES of DITTO36 eating PEANUTS, presents, and OTHER christmas THINGIES
insue!
SCENES stop!
Why?
ITS time FOR the SCENE with LINUS LOO WHO!
Fine and now my Java Mocha will get cold...
NARRATOR resists URGE to BRING in a CAMEO!
DITTO36 hops DOWN chimney!
DITTO36 eats THE tree, presents, AND other THINGS!
LINUS LOO WHO appeared!
LINUS LOO WHO wants to know WHY santa ATE his CHRISTMAS things!
Ummm.... uhh.... line?
NARRATOOR holds UP a CUE card!
Oh yes. FOOD!
DITTO36 ate LINUS LOO WHO!
DITTO36 flew AWAY!
Ho ho ho and a tasty christmas!


Location: Eclipse Version Studios..
Player: Giga



Thats it?
YES!
That sucked! The new years special better be better.
Its MORE of A short!
What ever...


< Post Comments on Battle #16.


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