Butch and Cassidyís Mind Controlling Machine
by Queen Jessie of the Team Rocket kingdom
Disclaimer: I donít own Pokťmon! Thatís just to it! It belongs to Nintendo, Game Freak, 4Kids, and that Satoshi guy. Please donít sue, I'm a Team Rocket freak!
Rating: Thereís a bit o' cussing, a good fight, and Jessie and James make out, so PG-13.
Other: That should tell you that this is kinda a Rocketshipper. And this is my first Rocketshipper (and story)! So have fun reading (and slightly laughing?)! And Butch and Cassidy are some bad words, like mother ******* and bitches. I say Butch is was once a female but had a sex change operation so people wouldn't know he was a lesbian, and he smokes too much for anybodies' liking, that's how he got his frog-like voice.
Jessie and James were lounging on the grass in front of one of the Team Rocket huts around the world, they were in Japan this particular day. "We need an idea to capture Pikachu," Jessie said. "What about something we havenít thought of yet," James said. "But that would require thinking, James, and I donít feel like thinking today." "Of coarse you donít feel like thinking, youíre too lazy!" Meowth exclaimed. Jessie whacked Meowth with her fan. "Nobody asked for your opinion! And when I want your opnion, I ask for it!!!"
Mean while, Butch and Cassidy were concocting an evil plan. "Letís build a mind controlling machine, itís way better than using a Drowzee," Cassidy suggested Memories of that day when they had a Drowzee mind control Pokemon seeped into both Butch and Cassidyís minds. "And instead of mind controlling Pokemon, we can mind control people and we can have them steal Pokemon!" Butch exclaimed. "Perfect! The Boss will be so pleased with us!"
Now back to Jessie and James. . . Jessie, James and Meowth were inside the hut this time listening to a CD. "Are you two hungry?" James asked. "No, now stop thinking about food, James," Jessie said. "I canít help it!" "Oh, well." Meowth was looking out the window, when he spotted Team Twerp. "Yous guys, da twerps are coming!" Meowth exclaimed. Jessie and James got off their chairs and bolted to the window. "Letís go on the roof!" James exclaimed. Jessie and James went outside and rushed onto the roof, while Meowth disappeared up a tree. Ash, Misty, and Tracey finally got to the hut and thought it was deserted until they spotted Team Rocket on the roof. "Its Team Rocket!"Ash exclaimed, pointing at Jessie and James. "No, duh!" Misty said sarcasticly. "Prepare for trouble, twerps!" Jessie said. "And make it double, brats!" James said. "To protect the world from devastation!" "To unite all peoples within our nation!" "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" Then Meowth appeared out of nowhere and landed in front of Jessie and James. "Meeeowth, thatís right!" Meowth exclaimed. Jessie and James jumped off the roof and landed on their feet, then Meowth followed. "Now give us your dumb little Pikachu!" Jessie demanded. "Make me!" Ash shouted. Then he flicked Team Rocket off. "You little son of a ***** !" "You little bastard!" James shouted. "No one calls me a bastard and gets away with it! What is a bastard?" Ash said. "Oh shut up! Are you trying to impress your little girlfriend?!" Jessie asked, she was amused with her own question and wondered what Ash was going to say. "Misty is not my girlfriend!" "And Ash isnít my boyfriend!" Misty exclaimed. "Yeah right!" James said. "Then Jessieís your girlfriend!" Ash remarked. "Ha! And Iím the queen of England!" "James is not my boyfriend, I wouldnít date him for all the money in the world!" Jessie snapped. James seemed hurt by Jessieís comment. "So James likes you, Jessie?!" Ash said. "God, no!" "Well, just a little," James added. Jessie whacked James with her mallet. "Ow!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Sorry. Give us that Pikachu!!!!" "As I said before, NO!!!! "Just give Ďem Pikachu Ash! Jessie and James are never gonna quit trying to capture Pikachu," Tracey remarked. "No! Pikachuís my best friend!" "So? If you love your Pikachu, areníttchya gonna let him go?" Jessie smirked. "No!" "How many times are ya gonna say no?" James asked. "I donít know." Then Jessie saw her chance, she put on a pair of rubber gloves and dived at Pikachu and caught it. "Yea, Jessie!" James cheered. "Now letís run for it!" Meowth exclaimed. Jessie got up and Team Rocket started running as fast as they could. Meowth had a silver convertible waiting as the getaway car. Team Rocket hopped in and James (who got in the drivers seat) turned on the car, and pushed his foot in the gas pedal and they were going at least 80mph (miles per hour). "Yea! We finally captured Pikachu, now we can present it to the Boss!" Jessie cheered. "Iím gonna be da Top Cat again!!" Meowth bragged. "Weíre gonna get raises!" James exclaimed. "Yea!!!!!!" they all shouted.
Jessie, James, and Meowth arrived at Team Rocketís Japan HQ at 6:00 p.m. (Japan time) and went inside, half scared, half feeling triumphant. Since Giovanni was in Brazil on an important business meeting, Jessie, James, and Meowth had to tell Giovanni the excellent news over a video link. "What do you three idiots want?!" Giovanni demanded. "We finally captured that rare Pikachu you wanted!" Jessie exclaimed. "You what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Giovanni spit out his coffee look alike tea. "We captured that Pikachu you wanted!" "So you finally decide to do something right. Show me it." James brought his hands from behind his back and there was Pikachu, in a glass container. "Do we get a raise?" James asked. "NO!!!" Jessie, James, and Meowth almost jumped. "But Meowth, youíre my second Top Cat." "Yea!!" Meowth exclaimed. Then Butch and Cassidy came running in the building. "What do you two want?" Giovanni asked. "We have this devious plan that those three idiots shouldnít hear," Cassidy explained. "Jessie, James, Meowth, leave and give that Pikachu to my secretary." Jessie, James, and Meowth left the room and gave the Pikachu to Giovanniís secretary. "I wonder what devious idea Butch and Cassidy came up with," Jessie wondered aloud. "It must be something Butch and Cassidy donít want us to know about, like that breeding center thing," James suggested. Jessie: Probably.
Back inside. . . Giovanni: So, a mind controlling machine. Do you have a prototype? Butch: Yes, itís over there. Butch pointed to a three-foot tall machine with a small satellite on top. Giovanni: So thatís it. Who is your first subject? Cassidy: That twerp who had the Pikachu. Giovanni: Excellent, Iíll be coming from Brazil tonight, meet me at the international airport in Tokyo at 8:00. Butch and Cassidy: Yes sir. Jessie: What are we gonna do? We captured Pikachu, we have no purpose to be on Team Rocket anymore, and itís the only job we can stick with, nobody wants a criminal to work for them. James: Well, I could always marry Jessibelle. Jessie: Uh, no, y-you need us, not that hussy. James: Youíre right, Jessibelle is a hussy, and weird too. Jessie: I bet I can imitate her. James: Really? Try something. Jessie: Okay. What should I say? James: How about saying youíre not running properly? So in her best Jessibelle impersonation, Jessie said what James said to say. James: That was prefect! Jessie: Thank you, thank you. Meowth: Team Twerp is coming! Jessie: Which one of their Pokemon should we try to capture? James: Letís try Traceyís Marril! Jessie: Okay. Jessie and James dug a hole and covered it in 5 seconds, then the trio hid in the bushes at the side of the dirt road. When Ash, Misty, and Tracey where all walking over the hole, they fell in, and Marril mysteriously popped out of his Pokeball. Then a shadow of two people suddenly fell over the fallen trainers. Jessie: Ha, ha, ha! Weíre gonna try and capture Traceyís Marril this time, since we already captured your Pikachu, brat! Tracey: No, not Marril! Jessie: Shut up and let us say our motto. Prepare for trouble! James: And make it double! Jessie: To protect the world from devastation! James: To unite all peoples within our nation! Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love. . . James: To extend our reach to the stars above. . . Jessie: Jessie! James: James! Jessie: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light! James: Surrender now or prepare to fight! Meowth again appeared out of nowhere. Meowth: Meeeowth, thatís right! James: Now hand over that Marril! Tracey: Yeah, when Squirtles sprout wings and fly! Jessie: Donít use your sarcasm now! Tracey flicked Team Rocket off. Then James flicked Tracey off.
Somewhere in the bushes. . . Cassidy: I donít like that twerp, letís aim the mind controlling machine at Jessie and James. Butch: Okay. Butch pressed a few little buttons on the machine. Cassidy: Okay, fire it! Butch pressed the biggest button on the machine and little pulses came out from the satellite, headed for Jessie and James.
Now back to the Marril stealing. . . James spotted the little pulses and jumped right in front of Jessie just as the pulses reached them. The pulses hit James, but he didnít seem to be in any pain, but instead he walked to the spot where Butch and Cassidy were (he was now under Butch and Cassidyís control, duh). When James reached Butch and Cassidy, the two stood up and recited their much more confusing motto. Cassidy: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! We got James! Jessie: What did you do to him?!!!! Butch: Nothing. Letís just say heís in a very hypnotic trance! Jessie growled and called for her Arbok. Arbok: Charboka!! Cassidy: James, call out your Weezing! James did as he was told, very lazily he called out his Weezing. Weezing: Weezing!!! James: Weezing, sludge attack. Weezing sludged Arbok and the poor snake Pokťmon fainted. Jessie called out Lickitung and ordered it lick Jamesís Weezing. Nothing happened and James ordered Weezing to use sludge again, and Lickitung fainted. Cassidy: James, have Weezing use smog! James: Weezing, smog. Weezing used smog and by the time it was cleared, James, Butch, Cassidy, Weezing, Traceyís Marril, and Jessieís Lickitung were gone, along with the mind controlling machine. Jessie screamed when she saw her Lickitung was gone. Jessie and Meowth were on their own until they could come up with a plan to rescue James, other wise they were very upset.
It was a few days later and Butch and Cassidy had James steal at least 58 Pokemon, including the Marril and Lickitung. Whenever they went to a trainer inn or a Team Rocket hut, James slept on the floor, even being mind controlled he preferred sleeping on a bed. He also longed for Jessie and Meowth to rescue him deep in his unconscious mind and he never seemed to realize he was on a Pokemon stealing spree. Cassidy: Butch, do you think we should move in from town to town? Butch: Yeah, it would be better.
One night Jessie had a weird dream that she and James were married, had a kid, and were in charge of Team Rocket, but of course that could never happen, the dream was interrupted by a knock on the hutís door. Can we come in? The voice said. Jessie got out of bed and answered the door. It was the twerps! Jessie: Itís you! Ash: Can we come in? Weíve been walking for three days straight! Jessie: Fine, come in twerps. Team Twerp came in and settled themselves on the floor. They were in India and Butch and Cassidy and James were in Saudi Arabia. Jessie went back to bed on the bottom bunk where James would have slept if he was there. Jessie: I canít believe those mother ******* have James. Jessie was now beginning to realize that she actually loved James.
Back in Saudi Arabia, James came out of the mind controlling trance. He wanted to go and find Jessie, remembering what had happened to him. James: I hafta find Jessie, but where could she be? James thought Butch and Cassidy had woken up, but they didnít, only Butchís snoring got louder. Since James was supposed to be asleep, because Cassidy had told him to when he was in the mind control state, he went back to sleep.
Jessie had walked for 5 hours straight and was looking for a place to buy some food and water, Meowth had been riding on Jessieís shoulders the whole time. Jessie: Can you walk now? My shoulders ache. Meowth: Fine, Iíll walk, but if my bottom paws start to hurt Iím gonna go back on your shoulders. Meowth got off Jessieís aching shoulders and walked. Jessie and Meowth were in Turkey now and almost in Europe, most of the way Jessie drove a silver Team Rocket convertible, with a giant red ďRĒ on the front hood. When Jessie and Meowth reached Europe, an anonymous Team Rocket member greeted them with another silver Team Rocket convertible. Jessie and Meowth got in and Jessie drove it all the way to Italy and found an Italian restaurant at 8:00 at night.
It was one in the morning and James woke up and decided go ahead with the plan he had come up with earlier. So he got off the floor and went to the backpack that was holding the stolen Pokemon, he grabbed Jessieís Lickitung and Traceyís Marril, he also took a Scyther, a Dratini, a Charizard, a Blastoise, a Raichu, a Nidoqueen, an Alakazam, and a Hypno. Then James went to the door of the room Butch and Cassidy had gotten at the trainer inn and opened it, making sure it didnít make a sound, and crept out quietly closing the door behind him. Since James was in Northern France, he headed south to a Team Rocket hut that he and Jessie had been to once.
The next day Jessie and Meowth left the trainer inn at 9:00 in the morning and they drove the silver convertible to a hut in the south of France, one Jessie and James had both stayed at once. Jessie and Meowth got to the hut a few hours later. They went in a saw James on the bottom bunk sleeping because he had arrived an hour earlier. Jessie: Meowth, go get us some food. Meowth: Whatta ya want? Jessie: Anything, but no escargot or caviar. Meowth: Fine. Meowth left the hut and went into a small village that adored Meowths, so he got free food, since the restaurant owner spoke English.
When Meowth was gone, Jessie sat on the bottom bunk until James woke up. Then as Meowth approached the door to the hut with the food, James woke up and Jessie stood up right away and hit her head on the bottom of the upper bunk. Jessie: Ow! Meowth: (from outside) Hey yous guys!!! Open da door!!! Jessie: Hold on you dumb cat! James: Hi Jessie. Jessie: Hi James. Jessie headed for the door and opened it for Meowth. Meowth: Finally! Meowth went to the table and sat the food on it. James: Oo! Food! James got off the bed and bolted to the table and sat down, ready to eat. James: Oh yeah, Jessie, hereís your Lickitung. James tossed Lickitungís Pokeball to Jessie. Jessie: Oh, thanks. James: And I jacked some other Pokemon Butch and Cassidy made me steal. Hereís a Dratini, for the Boss. Jessie, do you want this Scyther? Jessie: No, not really, did you get a Hypno? James: Yeah, here. James put it on the table. James: I also got you a Blastoise, a Raichu, and a Nidoqueen. Jessie: You jacked some good Pokemon for me. James: Yeah. I got a Charizard, an Alakazam, and that Scyther you didnít want. Jessie: Hmmm. Meowth: Are yous guys gonna eat the French food? Cause its gettiní cold. James: Yes! Now whereíd ya put it? Meowth: Over there, at the other end of the table. James: You dimwit! Jessie: Iíll get it for you James. James: Thanks, I guess. Jessie: When weíre done eating meet me out side, James. James: Okay. James grabbed the food and inhaled each bite. Jessie took small bites of her food while she looked at James, wondering about him. James: Meowth is there anything to drink? Meowth: I didnít think of that. Besides donít these Team Rocket huts have mini fridges? James: Youíre right! So James looked around the single roomed hut and spotted the mini fridge by the stove. He went to it and got a soda from it. Once James had gulped down his soda, he went outside and went to the backside of the hut. Soon Jessie followed. Jessie: James, do you know why I wanted you to meet me outside? James: I havenít a clue. Jessie: I wanted to tell you something. James: What? Jessie: I ordinarily wouldnít say this to anyone, including you. James: Well, what is it?! James was growing impatient. Jessie: Well. . . Jessie moved closer to James, and sat down, pulling James down until he was sitting against the hut, like she was. Jessie: (saying really fast) I love you. James: What?! James was shocked, well more like stunned that Jessie had said that to him. Jessie: I said I love you. James: Really? James was in awe, Jessie actually loved him! Jessie: Uh-huh. Jessie moved even closer to James, thatís when she made her move. Jessie got James to lay down in the grass, then Jessie put the upper half her body on top of James. James knew what Jessie was gonna do to him, she was gonna kiss him. And James was right, Jessie did kiss him, and it was a more than a kiss, Jessie was making out with James. And James enjoyed it too, he more than enjoyed it, he loved it. Before James had no feelings whatsoever for Jessie, but now he did. When Jessie and James were finally done with their making out, James had a chance to talk. James: Ooo! That was good. If I say this, please donít hit me. Before you kissed me or whatever, I never actually had any real feelings for you, but now I do. Jessie: Hmmm, really? Jessie seemed interested all of a sudden. James: Yeah. James waited a few moments, seconds, or whatever, seeing if Jessie was gonna slap him or whack him with her fan. But she didnít, so James was relieved. Jessie just stood up, then James followed, then they both went back inside the hut. Meowth was catnapping when Jessie and James came in. James: Do you wanna go see the Boss and show him the Marril we got? Jessie: Yeah, maybe weíll get a raise this time. James: Okay. Jessie went outside and started the silver Team Rocket convertible, James grabbed Meowth and the unfinished food and went outside dumping Meowth in the backseat of the convertible and gently placed the food in the backseat. Then Jessie and James jumped in the convertible, and they drove off to the Northern French coast, wanting to catch the ferry to England, and they just barely made the last ferry to England, and since those ferries can carry cars, the convertible went on. During the entire ferry trip, Jessie stared out the window and James ate the rest of the food, Meowth was still catnapping in the car.
Somewhere in Scotland. . . Cassidy: I canít believe James got away! Butch: Maybe we should fix the machine so it lasts for five months? Cassidy: How about no, people do have lives. Butch: Oh. . .
Now back to the heros of the story. . . Jessie, James, and Meowth had been in London for a couple of days, looking for the Team Rocket HQ in the London Underground, which was not very nice. James: (whining)When are we gonna find that HQ?! Iím hungry and Iím tired! Jessie: Quit whining! Itís somewhere around here. Jessie had been knocking on the walls, listening for a hollow sound. But then James leaned against a wall, and it collapsed. Jessie: What did you just do James? Meowth: He found the HQ!! Jessie: Yea! James: Ow! Jessie: Shut up James! James got up and the group went down a narrow tunnel, just barely wide enough for one person, letís just say a fat person could never fit, even if they did turn sideways. Upon stepping in front of the hidden Team Rocket HQ, the huge doors opened and Jessie, James, and Meowth stepped inside. Giovanniís secretary: Giovanni isnít here you guys. Jessie: Then where is he? It was more like a demand than a question. GS: In California. Jessie: Where in California? GS: San Fransisco. Jessie: Thanks. And with that, Jessie, James, and Meowth left the hidden HQ and eventually found their way out of the London Underground. James: Jessie, where are we gonna get airplane tickets to San Fransisco in one day? Jessie: I donít know, Virgin Airlines? Meowth: Yeah right! How about British Airways? Jessie: Okay, does the convertible have a laptop with Internet access? James reached under his seat and pulled a laptop from it. Jessie: Good James, now turn it on and find some place on-line to get plane tickets cheap. James typing) Okay. It took a few minutes, but James found pretty cheap plane tickets. James: Okay, the cheapest plane tickets I found are either Virgin Airlines which cost 100 pounds or roughly translated 59 dollars, or thereís British Airways it cost 150 pounds or 105 dollars. Which one? Jessie: Virgin, itís cheapest. How much money you guys got? I have 40 dollars. James: I have around 60 dollars. Meowth: I have 100 dollars. Jessie: Good, weíll have 200 dollars. For three of us itíll be like 177 dollars. James: Okay, it leaves in an hour and thereís still a few seats left! Jessie sped up the car and made it to the airport in 10 minutes. James: Jessie, isnít there a Team Rocket plane thatíll take us to San Fransisco for free? Jessie: Youíre right. So instead of Virgin Airlines, Jessie, James, and Meowth stuffed themselves into a phone booth, Jessie spelled Team Rocket on the phone and all three of them fell as the bottom of the phone booth opened up. When Jessie, James, and Meowth landed at the bottom of the slide, another anonymous Team Rocket member greeted them Anonymous Team Rocket member: Hello Jessie, James, and Meowth. The plane is about to leave in 10 minutes, so I suggest you run. So Jessie, James, and Meowth ran to the plane entrance and just barely made it. There where other Team Rocket members all waiting to go to San Fransisco, Butch and Cassidy were already in San Fransisco, waiting for Jessie and James. The plane got to San Fransisco in 10 hours, most Team Rocket members were grumpy and grouchy, and so was Jessie and Meowth. Jessie, James, and Meowth got a white Team Rocket convertible this time and they speed to Team Rocket HQ. James drove while Jessie and Meowth slept. James: Jessie, wake up! Weíre here! Jessie in bewilderment) Wha? Weíre here? Jessie and James went inside the marvelous Team Rocket HQ, dragging Meowth behind them and with the Marril in a bag, sleeping like Meowth. Giovanni: What do you three want? Jessie: We have an extremely rare Pokemon! Giovanni: Well, what is it? James: Itís a Marril! James held up the sleeping Pokemon. Giovanni: Good, tell me about it. Jessie, then James: Well, it swims good . . .(James) and it has great hearing, itĎs ears are like a Growlitheís! Giovanni: Very impressive, now give it to me. James stepped up to Giovanni and handed Marril to him. James: Do we got a raise? Giovanni: NO!!!! If you donít quit asking that, both of you will get a drastic pay cut! Now leave, Butch and Cassidy want to talk to you three. Jessie, James, and Meowth left Giovanniís office and encountered Butch, Cassidy, and their Raticate. Cassidy: Well, if it isnít James, thank you for your services, now weíll mind control you once again. James: No you wonít! And howís Sundance? Butch: Heís fine, of course his ears are a little worn around the ed- Cassidy: Shut up Butch! Just as Butch and Cassidy started the machine, Jessie, James, and Meowth ran out of the way. Jessie: Cassidy, how about we fight, just me and you, no Pokemon. Cassidy: Fine, you wanna cat fight, youíll get a cat fight! James, Meowth, and Butch found some seats and sat down, watching Jessie and Cassidy start to fight. Jessie charged at Cassidy and started strangling her, then Cassidy started pulling Jessieís hair. Jessie just strangled Cassidy harder. Jessie let go of Cassidyís neck and started slugging her, Cassidy got a black eye, a bloody nose, and a few bruises here and there. Cassidy let go of Jessieís hair and started head butting her, of course it didnít work well. James and Meowth were cheering for Jessie (duh!) and Butch was cheering for Cassidy. At the end of the fight, Jessie came out with nothing but a mere bruise on her arm, which was not visible under her Team Rocket uniform, and Cassidy had messed up hair and all that stuff described in an earlier paragraph. Jessie: Why donít you two fight? Jessie was talking directly to James and Butch. James: I donít know, my hair might get messed up. Butch: You are such a wuss! James: No Iím not, fag! Fine, Iíll fight you, but like Jessie and Cassidy, no Pokemon! Cassidy: Good, another slugfest! Jessie: Shut up, slut! So Butch and James got ready to fight. Butch: When the girls say three, weíll start! James: Fine. Jessie start counting. Jessie: One. . .two. . .three! Butch and James ran toward each other and started slugging each other. Then James put Butch into a headlock and threw him to the ground. James started kicking Butch around like Butch was a piece of crap. James: Youíll never win, Botch! Butch: Itís Butch! B-U-T-C-H! James kicked Butch in the face and Butchís nose started bleeding and his lip got cut. But Butch saw his chance, he got up on his feet and kneed James in the nuts. This made James pissed, and he kneed Butch in the nuts about a couple dozen times. Then our beloved James slugged Butch in the face, but Butch had not yet fallen. Butch managed to wrestle James to the ground and kicked James in the face a few times. Then Butch fell and the fight was over, with Jessie and James winning. James had a cut lip, messed up hair, a black eye, and quite a few bruises here and there. Jessie: We won!!! Now hand over that mind-controlling machine! Cassidy: We would rather destroy it than give it to you two low lives! Jessie: Fine, Iíll destroy it for you. Jessie whipped out her mallet and smashed the machine until it was unrecognizable. Jessie: There, itís destroyed. Now me and James will be on our way. Jessie helped her partner up and they exited the building, with Meowth trying to keep up.
Jessie: I am so glad youíre back James. James: Me too, Jessie. Jessie: Good. I have a question for you, James. James: What is it? Jessie: Do you wanna marry me? Weíve been together so long, and why date? James: Good point. Iíll marry you. Jessie whipped out two gold rings, one with a diamond for herself, took off Jamesís gloves and her own, and slid the plain gold ring on Jamesís ring finger on his right hand and slid the diamond ring on her ring finger on her right hand. Then Jessie and James fell asleep in each othersí arms in their pajamas and on a king sized bed.
To be continued. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . maybe