Call me childish, nerdy, and a big loser, or whatever, but making a webpage that pisses people off is still funny to me. Is it a waste of time? Probably. But is it fun? Yes. So would you say that watching (funny) SNL or going to (fun) Great America are wastes of time too? I doubt it.
To date, I've "scored" another Honda-Whore conversation, this time with a bit of closure. It's been about 2 weeks since the "scandal" exploded onto the pathetic Des Plaines scene, and as you may know by now, absolutely NOTHING has happened. I haven't been brought to court by Maine West or anyone else, the DP Anal-Explorers haven't come after me, nor will they.
Back to closure: Although the kid I spoke with is only about a 3 in terms of Honda Whorishness (1 being lowest, 10 being highest), I still had a spot of fun with him. Read on!
First, I'm Skantron3, and the other kid's name is withheld. I heard a strongly backed rumor that this kid literally beats on girls, which added to my being pissed about his gay ass car. So I start the convo off, and he replies with the usual threat:
Skantron 2: whats up wifebeater
(Name withheld): FUCK OFF I'LL BEAT YOU ASS
Skantron 2: fuck off, beat my ass??
Skantron 2: come on man, why you gotta play me like that
(Name withheld): SHUT UP YOU DONT KNOW THE STORY
Skantron 2: sorry dude, you're right
Skantron 2: but its ok, i remain faithful that you are able to beat my ass, since you've kicked so much girl ass already
(Name withheld): IT PISSES ME OF YHEN PEOPLE JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS
Skantron 2: gotcha
(Ok, I'm already inside this guy's head by now.)
Skantron 2: oh, whatever happened to mr police explorer homo and his faggy brigade?
Skantron 2: anything?
Skantron 2: im sorry you guys couldnt pin anything on me
Skantron 2: it would have been smooth
(Name withheld): IM NOT
Skantron 2: you're not sorry?
(Name withheld): NO
(He's not sorry? Look what he adds next:)(Name withheld): YOUR A LOSER
(This is all he could resort to)Skantron 2: yeah, i am
(I'm sure it didn't.)Skantron 2: well, you certainly want to beat my ass
(I must be doing something right.)Skantron 2: wow, neat
(Another threat.)Skantron 2: is that a fact
(This kid really does only weigh 100 lbs)Skantron 2: thats ok, your low body weight lowers your honda's race weight right?
(By now, he's releived that I've changed the subject from his scrawniness (and "beating my ass") to Honda'sSkantron 2: american love
(The eyebrow is not for power. Like I didn't already know that.)(Name withheld): your just jelous a honda race ready car could kick a american race ready cars ass
(Here's where it really starts)Skantron 2: umm, i dont understand.....the fastest honda does MAYBE tens, the fastest american doorslammer runs high 7's
(Poor or not, I don't think even mommy or daddy would spend the $30,000 it costs to make a real Honda race machine (if you can call it that), with a full Chromo-tube frame and a WELL-BUILT motor. These are the guys that really do run Hondas in the 10's and actually have a motor left over after the 600 Horsepower Nitrous Boost)Skantron 2: meanwhile, my 30 year old american car runs 14s now
(My car has bad paint, but it's WAY fast; the total opposite of Hondas)(Name withheld): all moter!
(Obviously he's being sarcastic. If this kid knows ANYTHING, then he knows that what I'm telling him is the sad truth: There are no 13 second normally aspirated, streetable 4-cylinder ANYTHINGS!Skantron 2: some guy spent $17000 on his civic in Car and Driver, and it ran mid 15s
(Pulling out the big guns. This is actually a true story, right out of the pages of Car and Driver. I'm not sure what month it was, but when I find it, look for it here on the site!)(Name withheld): thats actually funny
("Seriously, dude?? Totally dumbfounded)Skantron 2: yeah, no bullshit
(Now I really go in for the kill)Skantron 2: $17,000 gets an american car into low 11's / high tens street legally, on pump gas, and reliably
(He folds! But read on; it gets worse!)(Name withheld): the thing is i like american cars and imports, my thing is imports right know
(This is not made up...Beaten by the fact that his car is not fast and will never be fast, he then somehow claims to not be a die-hard Honda kid anymore. What a spineless bitch)Skantron 2: we cant stand it when kids take hondas and put all kinds of gay shit on them....if you spent your money on actually making it fast and had it look 100% stock with no stickers, id respect that
(I would respect a total stock looking "sleeper" honda that ran 11s.)(Name withheld): stickers are for the purpose of showing off what parts i use
(Technically, smaller stickers with name brands are ok...look at any muscle car with stickers on it like "JEGS," "MOROSO," etc.)(Name withheld): yeah i know
(Wow! He agrees on that too!)Then it goes on, yadda yadda yadda, and this is long enough anyway, so I'll just end here: This kid went from being diehard Honda to accepting Honda's non-speed shittiness. So maybe my webpage wasn't a total waste of time, if I've showed a kid that Honda's aren't fast. Also, the idea of breaking up the convo was Brian's of the Rice Boy Page.