Now for a little story about zach:

Once upon a time, in a small quiet cabin in pound ridge a little jewish boy was born. the doctors immidiatly saw this freak mutation of a child as a threat to human kind. they wanted to throw him off a cliff, like back in the good ol' days, but the child's parents forbid it not knowing they sealed their own doom. At first, his parents were going to name him something cool, like Claude, Alex, Hugh, Rocco or Anthony, but they decided to give him a gay name, so they named him Zachary. he lived his childhood in pound ridge. Even as a toddler he was showing signs of a perverted basterd. He would watch the discovery channel with great ecstacy, especially the program called "wild discovery". even though he learned alot from these shows which would help him latter in life, his fondness for the the shows were purely sexual. His days in elementary school are not exactly known, but it is believed that he did fairly well, due to the fact almost everyone in pound ridge is jewish, therefore I (the author) have decided to refer pound ridge as "jewville" from now on. so, to me (the author) his life in jewville elementary (has a certain ring to it) is just a huge nothing. well anyway, middle school I guess was a huge torture. since social status was basically everything. I would guess he got made fun for his doofy looking face, that he still has. I myslef (the author) think that no plastic surgeon in the world could fix that face. I mean seriously, they work science, not miracles. ok, now for his highschool life.... hmmmmm 9th grade ok year blah blah blah........ 10th grade ok again blah blah blah gets raped by Nate, has emotional break down blah blah blah......... 11th grade, another year, come back from therapy blah blah blah only one in his class who can't drive yet HAHAHAHA blah blah blah gets hit in the head by an airborn lacross stick, and falls down 3 flights of stairs in k-wing, breaking both legs blah blah blah trys to sue school, doesn't win blah blah blah my dad is his physical therapist.... blah blah blah 12 grade.... gets accepted to harvord....... canadians invade U.S. blah blah blah....information on canadian leader is released. informations states that the leader is a test tube child with the mixed DNA of hitler, sadam, osama, napolean, einstien, hannibal, alexander the great, julias ceaser, william the conquerer, vlad the impaler, stalin, richard nickson, Barney, Mr magoo and gary choleman. zach goes to 4 years of collage under canadian rule. Zach doesn't even score once. zach becomes nominated to lead a revolt against canadian rule. (Canadian Vs Jew, like that will ever happen)well, zach says some big words and scares the canadians running and yelling "what is he toolking aboot!!" of coarse in truth zach made up half the words he said, like that asshole Shakespeare. zach then becomes the leader of the U.S. but instead of returning it to its former constitution, zach becomes curropted and quite possibly evil....... probably due to the fact that he has never scored. then, I (the author) am then sent out to assasinate zach and his gottlieb regiment. assasination is extemely easy because zach does not know how to handle a military or any form of secret service. zach then dies haveing never scored in his life. I (the author) then rule the U.S. with honesty, peace and a pinch of curroption, living happily ever after because I (the author) inherit all rights to playboy and the manshow and willingly shares it with his friends Rocco, anthony, alex and hugh,

THE END (I MUST SAY THE BEST ENDING EVER!!!!!!!!!!)

Photos of Zach