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Mallory Mc Donald

    Feelings
    Beauty
    Forget You
    Killed
    Happy Again
    Something about Beautiful
    Why?
    Game of Hate
    Death Day
    The Dreams Used to Be Sweet
    Black
    Black as Black
    I Thought
    The Fairies Fly
    Silvia
    Hurt
    Finding a Way
    Fiona
    The Anger Is Forced
    Forgive
    Hello Again
    Looking Back
    Tears of Blood
    The Angles Weep



Feelings

(About Paul)

Feelings,
Feelings of love
Feelings of hate
Feelings of hurt that feels so great
Feelings of anger inside of me
I know it's something you can't see
My feelings are there all around
I feel them in the air and on the ground
I try to calm them but it only makes my heart pound
Faster and faster
Until I wonder
If it's you that is making me ill
Or is it my self and myself only that I kill
Feelings of sadness
That makes me think about the goodness we had
But now I know our love has gone bad
Feelings of beautiful
Because that's what we were
But now it's gone ugly and now we both hurt
I love you
I love you
For all that it's worth
Please love me back and give our love birth
Feelings of you inside of me
Loving me the way you did before
But now I'm nothing but a whore
What are we fighting for?
Love, love, love
That's all I can think of
Did you tell me you loved me or was that just the turtledove?
Crying, crying, crying
Inside I'm dieing
For the love we once had
Please don't tell me your sad
Feelings of worry
I know that's all you do
But don't you see I worry too?
Or did you only think the feeling exists inside of you
Feelings of peace
Because your love is deep
Give me more and never leave
More, more, more
I scream and I scream
Deeper and deeper your love seems
Feelings of truth
That I know were there
But now it's like we are both to sad to care
Look into your eyes
And I am hypnotized
The truth lies
Buried
Waiting to be found
But we are both so lost
That it can't be found
So there it stays in the ground
Feelings of fear
And feelings of tare
We all know all these feeling are there
Deep down in our hearts but we never seem to care
It hurts so badly
I can't stand to be sad
Give me your hand and heal this wound
And I will give you the moon
And the stares
And everything I can find
For my love for you is not blind
So tell me one last time that you are mine
And the feelings shall leave
And then come again when your love isn't as deep
But help me
So that your love I may keep.

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Beauty

(About Paul)

The love we had was pure
The love we had was secure
But now there's a door
There, stopping everything
Causing the rain to poor
Over our heads like two little threads
Not feeling a thing we hold up our heads
Hold back our fears and forget about tears
Beauty was there
When you really cared
Beauty was there
When we kissed
It was like an evening mist
So light and so nice
Make my heart cry
For one more looking into your eyes
Beauty was there when you weren't scared
Beauty was there when you were here
Why can't you still be here?
Why did it disappear?
Why?
Oh why did we fade?
And leave the beauty in the shade
I loved you
You were my beauty
That lighted up my life
You were the beauty that hurt like a knife
You were the beauty that was always there
You were the beauty that always cared
But now you're gone
And so I long
For the love that is done
No more kisses
No more hugs
Why dose this hurt like it dose?
Beauty is nice
Beauty is great
Beauty isn't really what I taste
So here I stand
Looking down
Because my beauty can't be found
I listen for his sound
I feel for his hand
But nothing is there but the wind
Beauty left me
That's all
That's the end

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Forget You

(About Kelly Bird)

Forget you
You aren't worth my time
Forget you
You can't change my mind
Forget you
I hate your dumb opinions
All you say means nothing
All you do is just disturbing
Forget the love
Forget the trust
You should of though bout that before you messed with us
Forget the fun things we did
Forget your stupid kid
Forget all the things about you
I hate your family and all your friends too
Forget my love because I never should of
Forget me because it wasn't meant to be
Forget it all
I'm building the wall
Between us
I hope this is what you want
If not I'm sorry but I can't love you anymore
I must say you put me through enough
And I don't want to be put through more
Forget the movies
Forget the T.V. shows
Forget the times I cared
Forget everything we shared
But remember I was there.

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Killed

(About Paul)

Killed inside
I have no pride
Killed inside
Without any life
Why did I love you?
Why did I care?
Why was I never there?
You killed me inside when you left
You killed me when you said I put you under stress
My heart is broken
My will is gone
I can't even cry to my mom
I love you
I hate you
I don't know why I do
You are a liar
A heart-breaking lover
That killed me inside
Killed inside
I can't even walk outside
Without thinking of the love that died.

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Happy Again

(About Paul)

Happy again with love smooth like the wind
Happy again with you
You make me happy when you look at me the way that you do
With y our big brown eyes, you know I want you
Happy again
I don't know why
Happy again
Without any sin
Happy again
I know I won't cry
Happy again
With the feeling of love
Happy again
I will never get enough
Your love, it flows like a gentle breeze
Never knowing which way it leads
To love or depression
I really don't know
But if it's love
Let's take it slow
As I walk down the valley of the shadow of hell
I know you are with me
I know I won't fail
So I walk and I walk
So scared I can't even talk
But I know you are there
With love to spare
And I will no longer be in despair.

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Something about Beautiful

(About Paul)

I watched the sun set this evening
I thought my heart was bleeding
It was beautiful
Just like a kiss
Only I can't think of anything better then this
Then I think about us
And it was something about beautiful
Not there all the way
But somewhere far away
There we are
Loving each other each and every day
As the sun sets I sit and I think
I think about the days when everything was great
When there wasn't such a thing as hate
It was something about beautiful
That made me want another spoon full
Of the pure love we once had
That would have never been known
To go bad
That would never leave me sad
And longing for something about as beautiful as what we had.

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Why?

Why did you care?
Why where you always there?
I hate you now
You make me cry
You broke my heart and didn't bother to fix it
I hate to say this but we are finished
Why do I still love you?
Why am I stuck to you like glue?
Why can't I forget you?
How do you take this like you do?
Why do I waste my tears?
When I know you could care less about my fears?
Why did I give my life away to someone I knew would leave me someday?
You left me
You hurt me
You destroyed me!
And you didn't even care
You just walked on by like I wasn't even there!
I have no more love in me
My heart was stolen away from me
How many times have you cried over me?
How many times have you tried to find a solution to our problems?
Did you care?
Do you still care?
Or is it just the spirit of you that is there?
Why wasn't I there for you?
Why do I feel the way I do?
Can you answer my questions?
I'm so confused!
I thought you loved me!
What happened?
Why are you not with me?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I ask and I ask
But no response
I can't breath anymore
You were all I adored
And now you gone
How can I go on?.

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Game of Hate

Let's play a game
Let's make pain
Let us tare apart everything we had
Let's make all of our love go bad
This is the game of hate
You know it feels so great
I bet you love the taste
We yell and we yell
Not caring if the love fell
We fight and we fight
Not caring about fright
I hate you and you hate me
Love is to far away for both of us to see
Days go by
I try hard not to cry
But the hurt builds up inside
And I can't fight it off
I got to get out
I got to fall away
I can't live like this another day
You're winning the game
And watching me bleed out my pain
This game is killing my brain!
It's killing you
It's killing me
It's killing us
But that means nothing
Because object of the game is
To kill all feelings and make us hate
Isn't this great?
Or do you wish you never played the game of hate?.

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Death Day

The blood it flows
Out of my wrist down to my elbows
You feel no pain
But yet you have killed my brain
I hate you
You fucked me up so bad
I can't believe that you thought that it was love that we had
My death day is coming
I'm slowly wasting away my life on you
My death day is closer
The blood from the knife is cutting in deeper
And I can't feel it because all I can feel if the touch of your finger
I miss you
You dismiss me
Why dose this have to be that you don't love me
Fuck you
Fuck your life up
I'm sick of you
I hope you find time to grow up
I hope someday you realize that all you ever had for her was lies
I hope some day you come back to me
But right now there's no such thing as love that was meant to be
Fuck the world and everything there
Because all that's there is lives to spare
We will all die one day
The devil will take over our souls
There's no use for pray
Cut my wrist and burn my arm
I feel no harm
Because it's all gone
My death day has come
Love's beaten me down.

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The Dreams Used to Be Sweet

The dreams used to be beautiful
But now they are all gone
And there is nothing there but pain
I walk through the valley of hell and there's nothing I can do but dwell
I have been here once before
I remember how I felt
It hurt inside until there was nothing left
Love has beaten me down
There nothing left
I lay face to the ground
With nothing
I'm left in the sound of silence
And it scares me to death
I can't hear a thing
I can't hear my breath
I long to hear you call my name
Love has beaten me down again
I hate this feeling
I'm walking down the shadowy halls of hell again
Not alive
Why am I hurt inside?
I know you don't care
But it kills me when I know that you aren't there
I miss the love we had
I miss the love we shared
I miss the times you made me laugh
But now it's all gone and there's nothing there
I feel so bare
I see the moon every night
But yet I haven't see you
You're far out of sight
I miss you like the sun misses the moon on a sunny day when night and day are forced to be away
I miss you so much
But yet there's nothing I can do because when it comes to the point I know I miss you way too much
They say everyone has a someone
I think it's you
But every time I love you, love beats me down again
And I'm forced to hate you
Because loving you was a sin
The shadows stay
And there's no point in the light of day
When I know there is not a good deed to pay
I seek an angle of mercy
I kneel down to her and ask her one question
In my days and nights I've cried a river of tears
And lost a countless amount of love
Why can't I let it go and fall away
Or is this how love will stay.

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Black

The sun is gone
They're playing our song
I'm forced to my knees in pain in my heart
I know you're gone and not coming back
And so my love turns a shade of black
The roses you gave me have rotted away and so do you day by day
But in my heart you'll always stay until the day when you come back and stop everything from turning black
Black is the color of my heart
Black is the color I see
The river of hate has poisoned the river of love
Now I know there's no way that my head will ever be up
Why is it all black?
Why can't I have you back?.

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Black as Black

I feel the hurt
I see the pain
You bleed and you bleed, but you're killing your brain
You turned your back on me
You left me there in a world so black I couldn't see
Your heart is black as black
As black can be
I loved you, but you tore me in two
Why do you complicate things like you do?
Hurt inside, I cry and I cry
I struggle to my feet but my hurt is still to deep
You cut into my soul and took what you wanted
You didn't even think about the spirit within
Your intentions were good, I'm sure of that
But your heart is still black as black
I try to make you nice
I try to make you see
That killing me is doing nothing but hurting you
But black as your heart is you keep on doing what you do
I'm sick of you
I don't want to try anymore
I'm packing up my things
I'm heading out the door
Why don't you get the picture?
Do you not see?
I don't like you any more.

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I Thought

I thought you were my friend
I thought we would never end
I wanted to be there with you
I thought you were there for me too
But nothing ever turns out like it should
Or else it would
Now I know what I thought was wrong
And that we never had anything
Anything at all
I thought you had my back
I thought I had your back
But it seems as though your heart has turned black
Black as black
I doubt you'll be coming back
Do you hate me or not
Make up your mind for your heart can't speak
For it has not say so in your mind sees
I loved you
I thought you loved me too
But now I guess I'll never know if you really do
I'm sorry for anything I did
I didn't mean to hurt you
But you brought it on yourself
Now you know how it feels to hurt
I'm sorry you lied
I though you were better then that
But I guess I was wrong and I should take that back
I thought we had something
I really did
But I guess it was nothing
I'm sorry I'll stop thinking we did
The Angles Weep
Night sky is high
The moon is bright
And the moon cries out tonight
Love is far away
But yet I go on day by day
I long for one look into your dazzling eyes
And thank you for making love make me high
As you place your hand upon my cheek
Love sinks in through my skin
And I can hardly speak
To hear a tone as lovely as you voice
I would die a thousand deaths
And then a hundred more
Until my soul is at rest
For one taste of your kiss
I would melt in your arms
And die knowing this
That once my life was lived
I did one thing right and that was this
Loving you was not a sin
But leaving you is a crime
For which one cannot do
For the biggest mistake of my life would be living without you
I need you in my life
I need you there to see
That there is no me without you
Because you're a part of me
And I know I'm a part of you
I don't know how you do what you do
But don't ever stop
Or life will be doomed
The shadows of hell are gone
And there's nothing left
Now this is my chance
To tell you one thing
And hope that you don't laugh
My heart bleeds for you
I'm reaching out for you
All because of one feeling
And that's because I love you.

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The FairieS Fly

Up in the sky I reach
To find something greater than life
To find something better than just being me
I find a little glimmer of gold
And wonder what could be causing this glow
I look in the trees
And on the ground below my feet
And I saw the little fairies
Dance around me
Each one smiling as clear as the water
Each one dancing with golden glows all around her
Step by step
They lead and they follow
By the way they are dancing you would think there was no tomorrow
Then one appears ever so bright
And the sun fades away and now it's night
Her steps are ever so graceful
And her beauty is fair
For she was the queen
That was the reason they were all there
Her long golden hair
Flowed ever so smoothly in the night wind
Her pale light blue dress glittered when she would spin
"My fairies now it's time
To say good night
For we must fly now
And tell all children good night
And be far away from human eyes"
They lined up in a line ever so nice
Then all of a sudden they flew away
Far into the night
Far out of human sight.

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Silvia

Deep into the night
There is a place
A place where people are not known
A place where no one has gone
In the wondrous forest she is
Someone who is fair as fair can be with bliss
She dances in the pale moon
Not worrying if the sun will come up to soon
Her long golden hair shimmers in the night
And her wings light up as bright as twilight
She is the nightlight that burns so bright
She's the guiding light for the sailors that have been lost
As she dances with such grace
Humans are hypnotized by her face
Her name is to be untold but there's one person who may know
Some people call her grace
And others call her beauty
But her real name is Silvia the fairy of the night
Lost in the night she dances her dance of song
Her voice is pure as the wind
And her song will never end
Tonight we search for the guiding light
That shines ever so bright
Silvia, she's ever so graceful
Silvia, where would sailors be with out her?
Silvia, shine bright
So no man shall be seen far out of sight.

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Hurt

The hurt I feel
Isn't caused by me
But by something unreal
I feel it deep in my heart
It's like the starting of a killing beginning to start
I'm on my knees
I can barely breath
And you just stand there watching over me
You're ever so perfect
In every little way
Why can't I love you and make the hurt go away
Hurt from my last love
The one that I really never should of loved
It stayed with me
And now it's haunting the spirit within me
Friends are we now
Enemies we will become
But why doesn't it bother me the way it did before
Why is it that I'm not crying on the floor
Is it because I have strength
Or is it because I'm stronger than before
Or is it something more
I have you there beside me
I have you there to love me
I'm grateful I found you
And I'll make sure I never lose you
Because I love you.

Up





Finding a Way

The times are hard
I know this is too
Finding a way to forget
Is not something easy to do
My actions were wrong
And I admit
But there are some things that I can only take to a cretin existent
Change is hard
And this is true
I learned that from a cretin person
And that person was you
To react badly is easy
But it's not the best
I have to get this out or else I won't rest
I was wrong and you were right
For now on I'll try not to put up a fight
My opinion fights what I know I should do
And for that I'm sorry
I'm sorry if I hurt you.

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Fiona

Deep into the night she sits and cries
Long hours she spends there hoping she dies
She brushes the dust off her shagged dress
And sighs a sigh of pain
Knowing sometime it will rain
She looks back at the glittering lake as the sun sets on its' distant surface
Looking back on this place
She can almost remember a face
She could almost taste the taste
That she once had
But now it all went bad
Friends of friends
They were with each other until the end
She could almost feel the wind
On her soft face
And it made her think of this place
Whispers in the night sky
Her friend was living up high
She thinks of her and calls out her name
Like a burning flame
And then she realizes nothings ever going to be the same
Her one friend Fiona was gone
And she must learn to go on.

Up





The Anger Is Forced

Tears of anger roll down my face
We're all here now
Here in the same place
Anger has smoked up the room
And everything is blurry
Everything except for you
I am shaking with anger and hurt
But you just kick me back down in the dirt
I tell the truth but you don't see it
You say I lie and what you say goes and there's no use trying to change it
I love thee to death
But sometimes I can't take what thee says
I take responsibility for my actions
But not what caused them
For that was from you always pushing them
I tell you when I have had enough and don't want to fight with you anymore
But you always push me until I'm about to put a hole in the floor
The anger is forced out
And you're about to go crazy there's no doubt
I'm through with you
I don't care what you say or do
Just leave me alone I don't want to fight with you
Why do you keep pushing me?
I told you
You would end up hurt by what I might say
But you just keep pushing me until there's no chance that anger will go away.

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Forgive

I see you tonight
My tears of hate I cannot fight
The words you say I don't understand
Is this really what I want in a man
The fights go on
And we must too
But just remember out of every bad
I still love you
I didn't mean to hurt you
I didn't mean to cause you pain
I just wanted to stop playing games
I'm sorry if I did
And I won't do it again
I'm trying to touch your heart
But you won't let me in
You say it's ok
And that tomorrow's another day
But will there still be depression to pay
The days go by
And so I cry
For the love we had
Is slowly going bad
The sadness stays
But so do rainy days
I come home finally
To find you crying over me
I'm sorry for that hurt and I'm sorry we fight
But now I must tell you that I still love the night
As I still love you
Let's not hurt our hearts like we do
As time goes on
We find a weakness
For the key to keeping hearts
Is forgiveness.

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Hello Again

Eyes of brown beauty
I remember it well
You were mine and I was yours
But then it ended
The pain
The struggle I went through
To get over you
And now your back
I have wanted you
And you know I still do
But I still keep it in me
For all it would do would hurt
Not only me but you too
I know it's hard to take but I don't want to hurt
It's been so long
Since I have heard your voice
But I still went on
And it's hard to know that you might feel the same way
As me
Love is something that I could never really keep
But with you it still makes me wonder
If you cut me that deep when you left
Would I still love you if you came back
But would it be the same
Would there still be the pain?
Or would I love you just the same.

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Looking Back

Not afraid to cry
Not afraid to die
Fearless to the world
Nothing can scare this girl
But when it comes to you
My feelings turn shades of blue
Looking back now
You weren't bad
You were the best I ever had
Looking back
You were my only friend
You were there until the end
Whatever I needed
You helped me get
Looking back
I see just how stupid I was
To let you go
To just shut you out
Just like that
But what I don't understand
Is why you still care
Even though I was never there
Even though I never cared
After everything I did
You still love me
After ever tear I made you cry
You don't see the darkness in my eyes
Looking back
On everything that's happened
I have come to one conclusion
I am nothing without you
Without you there to keep me standing
I 'm just a lost soul floating in the world
Without you everything turns a shade of blue
Would I be saying too much if I said I missed you.

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Tears of Blood

It's not easy to hide
This feeling inside
I feel like I'm dying
And you're not even crying
These tears that I cry
Are tears of blood
They are the words that I want to say
But never had the guts
You made me who I am
You made me one mistake
And I'm left here with nothing
Nothing to live for
You taught me that anger is something that is not supposed to be in me
So I hold it all inside
And try not to cry
But these tears of blood
I can't hide
My anger is burning
My emotions and cringing
And I'm left with nothing
I was taught that I'm cursed with anger
I was taught that my opinion doesn't matter
But as my eyes do bleed
I find a better need for anger
Anger for you
This feeling is something deep and true
So these tears of blood I cry
Are all because of you
You hurt me
You told me I was not worthy
And I believed you
And that's what hurts
I hate it when you judge people for what they are worth
I'm raging with anger
But there's nothing I can do
I don't want to hurt you
But it's ok for you to hurt me
I don't like this game
I can't take the pain
The tears of blood fall down my face like a river
And I am cursed with this anger
Forever
When you look at my face
You see the pain
But you just walk away
And don't even look behind
I take that as a sign
That there's no love
And I just struggle to get back up
And go on with life
But these tears of blood
Will never go away
And they will always be a symbol
Of the way you pushed me away.

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The Angles Weep

(About Jim Olds and papa)

Angles in the sky
Trying hard not to cry
Inside I could die
But life must go on
When the one you love is gone
Time goes by
Each day I try to keep my head up high
But time gets to me and I find myself missing you
I pray to the angles someday I'll be with you both
And love you the way we did before your lives broke
I kneel on one knee
And start to pray
A drop of rain falls to the ground
That's a sign that the angles weep
I get back up to my feet
And say to myself in my heart we will always be
And still the angles weep
Your spirit lives in the trees
And all around
I can feel you in the air and on the ground
And yet I can never hear your sound
I sing my heart out to you
I sing my heart out to the angles too
And so the Angles weep
And here I am back on my feet.

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