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A Breath Of Fresh Air..


~*~*How I Be*~*~
The dawn comes and still I wait I am around but never stay I look around and I’m alone The cold scars to the bone I listen to the phone, but it never rings I think to myself about these things My feelings I make them go It’s for the best I do not know My dream is you, loving me This is how I try to be My anxiety rises, tormenting me All this pain is all I see My thoughts are of only of you And of these things you must do They drag you down to the ground They weigh you down with their damning sound I am numbered in the sorrow Forever more always hollow You make me feel I am loved I have the feeling you descended from above You walk through the door, with your friends I don’t move I might be dead All this moving through my head You comfort me in my misery I see you smiling, seeing in me My bleeding soul never stops My demons laugh in my head Maybe I should go to bed I need my rest, more to ponder Will this end I always wonder? My coffin awaits, cruelest wood I only wish you understood My time passes you will find another For I worry you should never bother For others you will love, maybe I misunderstood I go to sleep, forever rest I lift this scorn off my chest I fall sleep in your arms, not carrying the rest I fall asleep in your might I can only hope, you never fall I will stand tall against my fears But they are all I have
~*~*~Confusion~*~*~
Sometimes I cry to see if I have died Still I stand when I should fall I will not cower I will stand tall Never hate for it is never right Time is here and time is gone Same as you but not for long The sorrow is gone, but not forgotten The scars remain, but memory gotten The sins of man will repent; my time here is growing spent I implore you siren of my heart, do not let us grow apart My words ring as bells, when my heart is gone and I have fell The harp strings hum, but still there is some left I die for you every night; I look at the sky all I see is white The garden grows hanging from the hills, but my void you must fill My heart takes your shape, come along I push; you play, from my path I will have to stray The memories have gone, but yet you remain I am constant; I am yours, forever ever more
~*~*~Heroes~*~*~
They are the ones made us who we are; they fought things near and far They gave life meaning, and brought our souls grave new feeling They fight for those who must not die, the innocents that far and wide They sacrifice all for those they do not know, but they must not slow What their tombstones read most will never know, covered harshly in icy snow Their loved ones will ever woe for they were never home, to teach their kids how to grow Their legacy they leave behind, to make warriors of another kind Brave souls they were, born to fire and destined to burn Shining in grace their courage, they’re meaning to defeat the scourge To protect others brought them peace, now it is forever ness they seek Zealots and thieves, did they prey, defending against those who strayed Their resolve like stone, never breaking and never quitting We honor their names that represent valor, life and fortitude They have come from far to make your nightmares break apart They fall and more rise, some them never truly die You cut them they bleed; you bash them they never revert The harder you fight, the more they win, and they make you pay for your sins These are heroes
*~*~My Path To You~*~*
I walk my path; the sky wanders true, and guides my ways The wind speaks mourning for me, but I must go on My words so hollow and empty, like my desire have abandoned me Scion of scorn and hater of worn, I see with greed not needed be My sins denounce my love of life, and bring me to my war of strife My torment is unwanted; every breath is cold and haunted Lost my need, not knowing what I be Lost and Found I have to go, but the sands of time move that slowly Dead and gone, buried deep, now I only have to sleep I arrive in my wake, a final test he may take The rain always burns, but still I yearn to take my last accursed breath Now I live, forever in the light of your love, the best the beast when he comes My journeys now over I turn to you and look into your eyes I see into your soul, I fill the void, never to empty, always yours
~*~*~My Love~*~*~
I’ve fallen from your skies, an angel with no heaven except you My eyes glimmer in your light; your love is my war I try to fly but I have nowhere to go The air no longer beckons, because you have my wings God’s grace falls on you, and I watch you shimmer in beauty I am but a man, no longer angelic, but I have a new love You who have summoned me with your desire From the skies I heard your call, the voice unlike no angel You purify my heart, cleansing doubt and making room for love God’s voice is unclear but I know the truth, the sound of love is his command I hold your hand and I fly with no wings I cling to your body and feel you against me Now I have a soul, which demands love Your face a mirror of the moon on the water So I lay on the ground, watching cloud takes their forms You descend to me, and I run my fingers through your hair I kiss you and hold you too me never wanting to let go This is my heaven now
~*~Stars With Wings~*~
I run, you scream, falling is the point I’m broken, your flying in my dream I await your call, for the heaven’s cry You descend to me and smile I awake in you, bathed in stars You look at me and I see your soul in your eyes The world fades as I live, as I draw breath you better me My brethren stand behind me but I am alone My love for you is my compass of light The light of your eyes, brings me to my knees The downfall is absolute, but nothing matters as long as I am with you They cross out my eyes, but I still see through your heart My life flows in my veins for you, but you can’t decide I stand at the edge but I will not retreat My wings glow and cut the air I soar the sky, looking for my meaning I find you and the sky holds no truth I come to you while you dream I hold you in my arms and know heaven is here We fly together into the clouds where we live forever You and I
~*~To An End~*~
To this degree it’s spoken To mother nature it’s woken The time is past Living is another matter Savior where are you now? This land is dying, from our hands stealing Destiny waits for our decisions We are the plague, killing and destroying for our needs The entity fades a little every night Infecting our world, while fighting each other The earth can no longer give The sun has turned cruel We keep science close, we are the fools It will fail, sending us to oblivion This is my statement, I can no longer think We are the wind that will extinguish the flame of life
*~*You Were Never There*~*
I never knew of you, but you were there Not so far away, but never came my way Wondering if strangers were the one You’re a part of me, but I can’t see I met you when I was seven but where were you before then Things were weird, but things didn’t get any clearer Time passed and my feelings were worn You in my life makes me torn Feeling abandoned through this relationship This has been a tiring trip You shouted and yelled and put me through hell That is no part I want You were not there when I grew and you never knew You didn’t call and never wrote I couldn’t hear you when you spoke I never had a father and I don’t know if I do You try but my walls do not fall I keep you out and try to push you away I do not want you to stay Some part still loves but it doesn’t matter it is the latter To be like you I would rather die, give in and not even try I feel this way and I cannot change If you were there things would not be strange All alone, I learned to cope, the world turns Life is hard with you involved; there is no hope for my resolve Envy stronger than all, people with tight nit homes I hate their joy because I none of my own Life has been tougher to me, colder than for the rest It will make me strong I can only hope I bend but I do not break This more than I can take I have nothing with you, no interests we share Why is it like this, it’s not fair I only want to be happy, but it will not last Things I am always blamed for, not my fault I think about this often, people have it easier than me A step dad who doesn’t give a damn, a mother that drags me down Shadows of friends, all I have A way of thinking that is unclean A faith no longer with breath, clinging to a spark Life is not fun, maybe for others Not for me, I put on my smile to seem right Times get hard, testing my limits for a grip Depression a common place, I sleep there often Love in it’s many forms, I know none Laughter impossible, for my soul is silent Slowly dying as the time ticks on I will make out of it what I can I could be a friend to someone who goes through my kind of times A voice of reason for those who like the loneliness I don’t know what I can be, would my grandmother be proud? Things I’ve said and things I’ve done I lonely wander into the unknown Hoping for a glimpse of the known I fear for my kids that will be a father like my own Keeping his distance and always alone Bitter in life and joyful in misery Is this how I will be? I pray to god, whoever listens, give me strength Let me be the person I want to be I wish to see only good things Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry Sometimes I don’t know why, maybe to show I am alive I am alone; no words can describe my life Sadness, depression, and misery they are but descriptions that mean little I denounce everything, man, god, earth, belief and hope I am bitter, miserable and vain I am human, but it means the same I wish to rest, sleep for a while Life goes on, I just follow This is the end, I am not alive For this is not living but I try Don’t pity me for the things I have to bear Know me as a friend, that I care I will be around for a while Who knows you might even make me smile
*~*Wait*~*
You are gone, no longer with me God has you now; I will decide how to be My love for you still lives even though I do not Angels encircle me, comforting my eternal pain They whisper she longs for your touch, but do not worry The years travel fast and heaven ensnares the righteous You will be together again for that is heaven the ever-long love humans can give God blesses you forever and feels your pain, but the love will always remain I will watch you ascend, for I wish it and it will happen Nyphelems sing your name in the grace of god This life is yours and it has been torn Your hope will fix what has been worn The angels watch over you, wondering They watch you fall, they watch you cope, and they lend their grace to give you hope No harm will come to those who I cherish, no evil in them can there be The years did come fast and now it is time The angels descend and give you your wings You meet your love in heaven god knows your joy You call her name, she calls out The robes of white cling to your celestial form The wings of god bring you here This is heaven my son, be at peace no pain will follow Be at one with your love and may the heavens greet you well
*~*The Flat Line*~*
Memories turn into life The regret a seal Guilt a reality now showing true Broken your reason, this is your debt Hold back the fear, break away You want to see another side of me Stay in your shadow, step down Your waiting for backlash It’s coming be ready I watch the hope slip into your words When you stop everything ends How can this be, I didn’t do anything wrong My eyes turn sorrow unreal Mind is in peril of insanity’s grip Your blood washes from my hands but my soul is stained Red as hell, and forever damned My fate now chosen, I have made my life No longer proud, but shamed My stones weigh me down, tears spin me around I have to speak tell everyone, but the words are lost I take the blame, for this never the same Freedom gone, repenting is not enough My outside is in, and my sadness shows I yearn for your words of forgiveness But they cannot come, no breath no life I can’t take all this, it must not be I’m leaving but staying in this place I will join you now, sorry for my mistake I can only pray for my sake
~*~*My Wanting Of You*~*~
I want to speak but my thoughts are lost My sorrow grows from my loss Your reflection shines no longer bright My eyes see you as no friend but as a lost love that never lead As I be no longer in love, I look to sky to see the above I look for answers there are none; I wish this had been undone You want nothing, I feel something My hearts aches, but no one feels At first you loved but then only dealt I find no reason to carry on; love stopped singing its song Blame sits not knowing where to go, my sadness will only slows God only knows my pain, but I refrain from thinking your name The sun beats down always knowing, moon never ending I will overcome my sadness; I will never give into the madness I will live on, remembering you forever on From me to you, I will love on
~*~*~All I Can’t Say~*~*~
There is so much I can’t say When I look into your eyes. I’m worried you’ll reject me And hurt my foolish pride. Each day this love grows stronger, But I can never let you know. There’s so much behind my smile That I could never show. I’d hold you for a lifetime, If you would let me in. I’d love you like no other, But you don’t understand. Every time I see you You are holding on to her. The pain is like a knife Cutting deep into my soul. So I’ll dream of us together, Of just how it should be. And all that you are Will remain a silent part of me.
~*~*So Fast*~*~
I’ve known you For one year, But it seems That I’ve just met you. It seems I’ve become So close to you— The year has gone by So fast. At first I hated you, Then you were my friend. At last I finally loved you— It all went by so fast. I got angry with you, I talked to you, I kissed you— It all happened so fast. You came, You loved, You left. All of those so fast. Hatred turned to love; I held you close and Kissed you. Then the love and Kisses went away, And I lost my heart So fast.
*~*~Breaking Up*~*~
I want to break up. It just isn’t working out. I feel like I’m trapped, And I want to get out. I know that I have used This excuse before. I just want to be friends, Nothing less, nothing more. It’s nothing that you did, It’s nothing that you said. Things are just changing— Like the thoughts in my head. I will never forget That we have been together. Some couples don’t last, While others are forever. I still love you, Just not in “that way.” I feel as if I’m acting, Or putting on a play. What I do or say Is not how I really feel? I’m sorry that I have to say Our love is not for real. I would die inside If we couldn’t be friends, So my warmest wishes To you I will send.
*~*~Dear Parents~*~*
I am daring. I am bold. I will not do what I’m told. I’m a dreamer. I’m a queen. I am everything in between. I love without boundaries. I cry secret tears. I can’t let anyone know my fears. I’m coming of age. I’ve barely started. I’m a girl standing where the roads have parted. I’m smart but confused. I’m weak but I’m strong. I’ll make my decisions. No matter how wrong. I am tempted. My heart aches. But these are decisions That I must make. I know that you’re scared, Of what we’ll find, On this journey through Dangerous times. But you must understand, No matter what you say, We will break free, and go our own way.
*~*~Addiction (addict ll)~*~*
Pale faces Cast in blankets of white, unfolding And their souls circled in dark Black…looks like licorice Bloodshot eyes look to the floor Ashamed minds Drunk on depression So paranoid Scared of opinions Drink until you leave Drink until your sorrow’s gone Collect the cocaine Let it rule the brain Of several minor attractions Decisions Then it builds Ravenous hunger Your gut is heroin Morphine Drink it up, swallow it down Soul how you hurt Poor soul how you hurt Collection of pain Drugs to the addict Bitter addiction You sour the life With narcotics branded on you Ruin existence So you may breathe In false serenity Laugh…. As it over comes you…. Into sleep Sweet shall—Goddess Become
~*~*~The Night~*~*~
Take me back, back to the night Make the sunlight go away Shield my heart from The pain of day The moon, the stars, The dark shining mysterious Is a perfect seclusion, For a heart that’s delirious Infatuation, anticipation Please keep me safe in condemnation Shade my tears and tendencies In the deepest hour Of the blackest seas Sing the sweet melody Of the midnight hour And erase the days That tastes so sour.
*~*~Who I Am*~*~
Am I just your puppet on magic strings, For you to play with as you please? Am I the beast while you play beauty, And making me perfect is your duty? Am I the tortoise and you’re the hare, Is that why you don’t seem to care? Am I MuFasa and you are Scar, Is that why you push me so far? Am I the ball and you’re the player, Where I end up, you don’t happen to care? I am not a toy for you to play with, And I am not a myth! I have feelings just like you. Although mine are probably More sincere and true! I am who I am, that you can’t change, And my life is something you cannot arrange! I am someone you can’t behest, Because I am a person! No more, no less! I guess what they say is true, Who needs an enemy, When I have a friend like you!?!
*~*~*Live the Moment*~*~*
Live the moment The moment is now. Forget the regrets of yesterday Let go of the wonders of tomorrow Seize the moment Hold on to today.
~*~*My Love*~*~
I tried to warn you About messing around, But you wouldn’t listen, So you feel to the ground. The moon and the stars are up high, And beneath them, I lie. My heart is ripping, While tears are dripping, As I listen to the wind’s lullaby. You will always be My first love, Though you are now above.
~*~*~I Remember~*~*~
When I looked into your eyes, I knew it was true. My heart never lies- I was in love with you. As you stood there Just looking around, My whole body melted Into the ground. I remember the day, I remember the time, I remember the place, It is always on my mind. You looked so good In your shirt and jeans. I remember that night You were in my dreams. I wish I could be with you Day after day, Because I love you more Than words can ever say.
~*~*Help Me~*~*
Here, There, Everywhere- Never gone, Always near. Hoping it will go away And won’t come back another day. Pain, Suffering, That’s all it brings. Please help me think of other things.
~*~*Frustrated~*~*
I’m frustrated because I can’t tell if it’s real, Frustrated because I don’t know how you feel. I’m frustrated because we didn’t talk last night, Frustrated because we can’t make things right. I’m frustrated because there is no trust, Frustrated because I know it’s a must. I’m frustrated because I need you night and day, Frustrated because I can’t have things my way. I’m frustrated because you don’t want to take my hand, Frustrated because I can’t get you to understand. I’m frustrated because I can’t feel your gentle touch, Frustrated because I miss you so much. I’m frustrated because we can’t be together, Frustrated because I’ll love you forever.
~*~*I Wish I Could Say *~*~
Every day I love you, And every day goes by so fast. Soon enough “I love you” Becomes part of the past. But every morning I get Another chance To say, think and feel The “I love you” That never lasts.
~*~*~I Wish I Had a Chance With You~*~*~
Your brown hair, your beautiful eyes Just send chills down my spine. The sight of you makes me weak, My hands shiver, And I cannot speak. I know I am not the only girl for you, I only wish I had a chance with you. I know you are taken, But my love is true. The girl you’re with Is the luckiest girl I ever knew. If ever she should break your heart And you feel all torn apart, You know where I am. I’ll lend you my hand. I’ll pick up the pieces And calm your heart.
~*~I Wish You Were Mine~*~
Sitting around with nothing to do, Thinking of how much I want to be with you. These feelings I have I don’t always show, But now I’m telling you-I want you to know. We’ve been through it all, Good things and bad. I’m not always happy, You do make me sad. You sometimes act like you don’t care, But this hardly happens, It’s almost rare. We’re not together, I wish we were. We’re not together, You’ve chosen her. She seems to be better In everything and more. I don’t even know, What I’m hanging around for. You hurt my feelings and make me cry, But I don’t know why I continue to try. I guess I just love you And get carried away. I wish you were mine to have everyday.
*~*A Wish*~*
A penny in a wishing well, A wish on a shooting star, Blowing out a cake’s candles Hasn’t worked so far. Wishing for you to come to me I feel won’t ever come true. I gave up, finally, On ever having you. But this feeling of emptiness Without you by my side, My heart is filled with sadness And feelings I can’t hide.
~*~Reflections~*~
As I walked along the beach What did I see? A faint reflection of you and me It was a vision of the way things used to be As calm and peaceful as the pale blue sea The sounds of the birds, not a single care Deep in thought, memories we share Sand on our skin, the warmth of the sun We were together, two in one
~*~The Fight~*~
When you tell her What to do What to think It degrades her And your love It makes me angry The red-hot magma The hatred boils I want to erupt All over your expensive suit When you think for her And act the know-it-all The hypocrite you are I break those champagne glasses My grandparents gave you On your engagement But I will not cry You are worth nothing More than indifference So that is what the photograph Of me will show A surface covering the volcano Of my soul.
~*~I Feel~*~
I feel the blow of his hand Hard across my skin I just want to save my land But I know I will not win I feel the sting of the whip Breaking a bone in my back The trembling in my lower lip He knows he has a knack I feel the ice on my feet As I walk across the snow No bus that I can meet No place where I can go I feel the touch of God Warm into my heart Making me look up and nod To never be torn apart
*~*~The Tides of Life~*~* The white crested waves wash up On the wet sand, The warm sun rises slowly on the horizon And above, high in the gray morning light, The gulls cry and soar. Just like life, the sea has stormy days. The frigid water churns with turbulent Waves, Gales of salty wind whip sand up In angry frenzies. Just like life, the sea is clam. The placid waters are a place to Gather my thoughts. The rhythmic lullaby washes away my troubles. Just like life, the sea has lovely shells To collect and gather in, To keep for years to come. Just like life, the sea has driftwood, Floating aimlessly in a world that Breeds confusion. Just like life, the tide comes in. The tide goes out. Though sunny days and raging storms The waves go in their constant, Never changing cycle. Because life must go on. The tide must come in. The tide must go out.
~*~*Purpose~*~*
What if You realize You are like a candle Fragrant Beautiful Mystic But slowly The blaze Melts Away you layers Shedding your past Spilling your secrets Across The table Dripping onto the carpet Pooling in puddles Of memories Thick Molten Experiences Which dry and harden Into patterns When it’s over We’re really tiny black wicks Who burn themselves out All that really matters As if our experiences Have bled Into others To create Something Far greater Or Are we’re nothing But a puddle of ourselves?
~*~*~Popularity’s Price~*~*~

Destroying a Fragile hope of friendship With one bitter word A single poisonous glare Whispered gossip In a shallow ear Striking a mark On a lonely heart Filled with righteous fear A happily brutal snicker Coupled with a ruthless sneer Everyday cruelty For mock-acceptance Fraudulent contentment And the right to weep In guilt In sorrow In solitude
*~*~Not Yet*~*~
She doesn’t yet know That she’s an ugly girl. But soon she’ll see The world’s cruelty. She looks into the mirror, And says I’m OK. But soon her classmates Will set her straight. Only a short time left until the Differences are prominent. Then as the doors Are closing She’ll know that she’s An ugly girl.
*~*~*Eternity*~*~*
Summer pearls sparkle In my dreams As delicate pinched spice Power gently becomes A spring fragrance. The scent radiates Peace and delight In heaven in my soul. I walk and absorb The promising treasure. I stare as beauty Frolics around me This shall be eternity
*~*~*Fading*~*~*
Deep-red petals falling down Post-fall leaves will hit The ground. Blue clothes start to fade. Heat disappears with the shade. Little rocks taken by the stream. Old gray eyes might lose their gleam. Fading, fading Where do they go? Grass in covered by the snow This will fade, most everything ends. When nothing is left, We have our friends. __________________________________________________
Update 1-31-03

~*~*~As Time Goes By~*~*~
I have many characteristics Of living things, Although I am not living. Most people depend on me, I am in every school. I have two hands. Sometimes, I have a constant noise. I am many shapes and sizes, And my face is different everywhere. On most, I make only two noises. But on some, there are many sounds. Some collect me, Or just have me for decoration. Without me, the world would not be the same. Many work their schedules around me. I am made out of many, many things. And I am opened in many ways. You can also wear me. Standing up or hanging, I serve my purpose. My many uses is only one thing, And that one thing, Is very important.
~*~*~What~*~*~
When I look at you, I see my world beginning anew, A teen escaping a childhood of pain, When days were full Only of rain. But now you’re free to live, And start to receive And not just give. I’ll be here and help you through, Because my love for you, Will always be true.
~*~*~Companionship~*~*~
The tears of love, joy, and mirth. All shared upon the birth, Of receiving a soul. To sit and hear your goal: “To reach out and feel the stars.” And then the soul reply: “upon the wings of a dragon fly.” Now you’re sure this soul, Is sharing your dreams and goals. Your two threads are woven together. The feathery secrets Between you two are now murmured. How excitedly you two whispered Of this newfound relationship Buried under heavy ground. Suddenly, your eyes open wide, So relieved you could’ve cried. The soul you found was yours, Refreshed and found anew After all those years. Hidden behind closed doors. Returning to you The hope and bliss you once new.
~*~*~Gone With The Wind~*~*~
Love is like the water of the sea: Always flowing, moving free. It doesn’t always make you feel, Like you wish it did. Sometimes, Love is gone with the wind. It can happen as fast as fire. Your heart can fill with warmth And desire. One day you can link your eyes, And the love you once felt so strong, Now dies.
~*~*~When We’re Together~*~*~
When we’re together the world stands still. Us meeting must have been God’s will. When we’re together the birds always sing. You’re holding me under an angel’s wing. When we’re together the flowers always bloom. My world without you is like doom. When we’re together the sky is not gray. You’ve made my life a glorious day. When we’re together and your lips touch mine, The feeling is too divine. When we’re together I can’t help but touch, Because I love you so much. When we’re on the beach together at night, I’m so glad things were just right. When we’re together and you take my hand, I am just happy that you understand. When we’re together I know I can trust, That this is way much more than lust.
~*~*~The Year~*~*~
So much has happened. So many memories shared. Most of it was happy, But some made us scared. Classes and teachers, Passes and books. Some become writers, Some become cooks. Some become couples, Others old news. Some becomes heroes, Some had to lose. Friends were made, And lives were saved. Hearts were broken, Some words left unspoken. But through it all. Some how we didn’t fall. And we as whole, Become stronger and stood still.
~*~*~The Lesson~*~*~
I once knew this guy That liked to drink. Before he got into his car, He never stopped to think. After being at a party His friends told him to stay. He wouldn’t. All they could do was pray. As he took off His friends were scared. And hoped he knew That they really cared. Safely home….? It was not true. His friends went looking for him Because they knew it was true. He wanted to teach his brother things he couldn’t have read. But now he can’t because he’s dead.
~*~*~Looking In a Mirror~*~*~
Looking in the mirror, I cringe at what I see. It is the monster looking back at me. I see the sins in this world I see them all, through my eyes I see the pain and the tears, I see the ugly, nasty lies. Besides the sins, I see myself. And that I sometimes hate. Though now I know it’s who I am I realize it’s much to late. Looking at the mirror I smile at what I see. It’s the person who I am staring back at me.
~*~*~Open Your Mind~*~*~
To all the people I have met. And all the one I won’t forget Hold on tight to the friends life brings. Remember the times that you have shared And how you’ve showed you’ve cared Never lose sight of those you care about And never forget the ones that are ‘out’ You don’t need to be in the ‘in’ crowd Or be the one that stands out, or even loud All that matters is that you are you And to yourself you are always true Friends are gifts that everyone deserves So be nice to the ones that get on your nerves For one day you might need a good friend Someone who will be true to the end That one who you may have disliked Could be that friend wrong or right Keep it in mind that no one is flawless If they were, they would live in bliss But no one is perfect, no not even you Like snow flakes we don’t come in twos We are all different in so many ways To count them would take to many days So this message I leave with you Take it or leave it, it isn’t a myth We are all different but we need friends Someone who will stand up and defend Before you step on people like little ants Make sure to give that person a fair chance If you judge them before you know Before you know what they're like, you have to let go Let go of the fear what others will think Let go of your past year being called a fink Just open your mind to all those around You will see that a best friend will be found
~*~*~Truth~*~*~
Dare to wonder Why your life is epitome Of smooth, white paper. Analyze the reasons Why bliss eludes you As you sit in your Dry-cleaned suit and tie Staring out tinted windows At jagged clouds And ripping skyscrapers That are smothering you So slowly, You don’t even notice. Consider why it is That sunflowers grow In the cracks of sidewalks And how the sky Swallows the skyscraper Dare to remember When sunflowers grew In your eyes And life didn’t flash before you On a computer screen
~*~*~Dreams~*~*~
Why do we watch as our dreams pass us by As our hopes fade out Into the darkness Why do we merely lay Our heads to cry Do we not know how much of life we miss How can we know what Days will bring to us Can we challenge faith And all her wishes And why must life be Such a furied fuss As opposed to love And stolen kisses Can we not enjoy The simplest sunset Or the sweet lovely Heartfelt serenade And what good is life In we can’t take pride In the lives we have made So savor this life So short but so fine Believe in your dreams, And they shall be thine.
~*~*~Dear Brother~*~*~
Black brother, think your life so sweet? That you would die at any price? Does mere existence balance with the weight of your great sacrifice? Or can it be that you fear the grave, Enough to live and die as a slave? Oh Brother! Be it better said, When you are gone, And the tears are shed, Men have died that men might live. They point with pride To the roads you build. In terror at the threatening In thine own eye? Long-suffering hath heard The captives cry. Can it be that you fear the grave Enough to die as a slave? Mind thy symbols That proclaims thy crimes Dwell thou a warning To the coming times Oh Brother! Be it better said, When you are gone and the tears are shed.
~*~*~Nature~*~*~
Wind is a quite sound, Lifting weightless dancers off trees, Calming the destruction. The sun is a solitary piece Of gold glitter. Giving life to reaching plants, Warming the earth with its beaming rays. Clouds are like cotton candy, Sweetening the ground with sugary rain drops, And relieving the brightness of the sky. Rain is full of sculpted diamonds, Replenishing the dry and cleaning the dirty. The moon is a glowing cat’s eye, Taking away the fears of dark and giving hope for a peaceful night.
~*~*~What Will It Take~*~*~
What will it take to change the world? How can I share my thoughts with so many? How can once voice be heard in the crowd? How—by going on with strength, courage, and by never giving up. One voice can be heard My voice WILL be heard.
~*~*~Life is What You Make It~*~*~
Life is full of dark clouds and sunny skies. Life is full of truth…and lies. You can throw your life away, But then you will have to pay. Or you can take each day and live life merry and gay. You can live a life full of worry, You can try and hurry, But you will never come out ahead. Life is what you make it, So paint the town red!
~*~*~Glass Feelings~*~*~
Glass can shatter into a thousand pieces. It can be glued back together again, But there will always be little fine lines remaining, Reminding you of cracks that were once there. Please don’t break the glass…..
~*~*~Poems~*~*~
Poems show your feelings, Show yourself, put yourself on paper. Poems, mixed emotions, turning into words. Poems, making you laugh, making you cry. Poems, meaningless words to one, A clear vision of life to another. Poems, Use them…. EXPRESS YOURSELF!
~*~*~My Little World~*~*~
My little world of little things Had me lost and in despair I was a small and helpless life form And felt like no one really cared I walked around with no hope And with my arms at my side With no hands to hold mine My feet were my only guide Until the day I had one last chance To find one that tells me no lies There you were just standing I got lost in your eyes I felt a sudden bit of courage I was as free as a bird You spoke to me as I listened I lingered on every word Day by day I fell in love With all your different ways I knew at that moment that I wanted to be in your future days I prayed to god ‘Oh please, let him be the one!’ Then that day finally came when our world together had begun. It started as just holding hands and writing back and forth Then as our time together grew longer we started to be much more I thank God for you every day for doing those sweet things you do, My little world of little things has now become a big world of you.
~*~*~My Mind~*~*~
My mind stutters Confused by a tangle of thoughts I didn’t know that I possessed Scintillating thoughts that disturb my seemingly shallow manner Life throws riddles I can find difficult to comprehend They subdue the only soul that I claim Wrapping it in deep thought Condemning the superficial nature that I so adore.
~*~*~Blank Thoughts~*~*~
A plain sheet of white paper sits without meaning in front of me I stare As a child this paper would have been alive Jumping in and out of worlds Moving so vividly Adulthood is near I see no pictures My mind remains blank and black I stare New ideas are out of reach Out too deep My head aches I think nothing
~*~*~What I Want to Do~*~*~
I’m human too With a mind and soul To make a decision To set a new goal You can’t control me As hard as you try I see what you are doing you are so sly My mind, it belongs to me and not you I know that I can do and what I want to do
~*~*~Confused~*~*~
Molting and melting fire inside Moments of fear, frozen ice, tension, and pride Cries of the scorching, burning, and tearing Laughter from the one not caring The moans, the tears, in these lifeless teenage years A moment in time worthless seconds going by Making a slow even rhyme Tell me one so young and confused is there still a future full and amused When the crying stops What shall I say? I am too young to know The future leads my way
~*~*~Missing You~*~*~
When peace cannot be found And sleep won’t visit me at night I think of all the times we shared Of holding each other tight With a restless mind I walk the floor and call your name But a defining silence is my response The days we spent together and the endless nights on the phone are now replaced by lonely times Unhappy and alone Thoughts of you constantly fill my mind-your face is all that I see I wonder who you might be clinging to tonight instead of me Though letters can carry hope and strength and bring ecstatic smiles I can’t help noticing the distance is worlds apart across the longest miles The wealth of the memories you left remind me of how very far apart we are Oh, how I would give the world just to be where you are
~*~*~All You Have Done~*~*~
Stealing my heart was so easy for you true love was the fantasy only you could make true Love was transparent like charcoal steam You were the one cut out of my dream You were the one who woke me from my sleep And stole my heart with a love so deep You opened the door to a love so deep You cared not for the cost or expense You grasped me from the darkness not a moment to soon and displayed a love so pure and perfectly in tune The light in your soul was impossible to avoid Hate you banished Fear you destroyed The day I met you the loss of love was quenched My soul, once so dry, was instantly drenched Please, you must never forget all that was destined for us the day we met
~*~*~The Wonderful Feeling~*~*~
The dark clouds have disappeared The gloom The negative are no longer near That wonderful feeling lives in my heart again Love is wonderful, magical The second time around Love is feeling that sense of peace With the world You notice things with clarity Things you overlooked before A radiant sunrise A friendly greeting A million stars at night And you dare to hope, to dream, To plan


UPDATE 5-26-03 .*.Bad Boy.*. I don't know what it is about that bad boy style all I know is that it drives me wild every time I see you, I can't help but smileall the cute and thugish things you do makes me want to stay with you awhile so you better hurry up and take your pick because you just might be missing out on one bad lil' chick!
*The Four of Us*

All for one and one for all Best friends forever Each other we call Never split this quad up Or else you’ll be in trouble We stand up for each other And cheer when one hits a double We will be and are best friends for life Through thick and thin together we will be These girls are awesome And you just wait and see We’ll be together forever Don’t get mad when in our group you can’t be
***Total JERK***

You pissed me off You made me mad You made me cry You made me sad You lied to me You made me hurt You made me see You are a total JERK!
A crush is a ton of mush even though it isn't a rush you love someone till the end and consider them more then a friend you like their presence and their style being with them is worth while you always laugh at their jokes and always offer to share a coke trying to impress them isn't easy when you’re by them, you get queasy their specialer then all the rest and you hope they think you're the best if they don't ask you out it'll be to hard not to pout because the person you have a crush on is the best guy around just beware they’re always bound
.:Sorry:.

sorry I haven't been there sorry I wasn't the one sorry I was always on the run I’m sorry that I always cried in the night wishing that you didn't hate me it tares me a part that I’m sorry I didn't ask you sooner for the keys to your heart !
-Die for love-
I sit in the park where I dwell For this boy I love so well He took my heart away from me Now he wants to set me free I see a girl on his lap He says things to her he never said to me I ran home to cry on my bed Not a word to mother was said Father came home late that night He looked at me from left to right He saw me hanging from a rope He took his knife to cut me down And on my dress a note was found: Dig my grave Dig it deep Dig my grave From head to feet And on the top place a dove And remember this, I died for love….
Happily ever after, That's how they want you to think it will be, But it's not, Not at all in reality. The deaths, the tears, the fears, the falls, Through it all we're still go on. The broken hearts, the cheating friends, So much pain that never ends. The fake smiles that seem to make everything ok, But not for you, because you know the pain won't go away. Bright and cheery, but oh so weary, Because inside your heart is breaking in two.
I'm giving up on loving you I can’t take the pain you've put me through Deep down I know the feelings are always there Maybe someday you will care At least for now I can hide my pain I know if I don’t, I'll go insane Our time apart has made me realize There is no second chance when it comes to guys I almost had you back one time But of course, you changed your mind The many excuses that you have told Are getting lame and really old We never talk anymore It’s like a room to your life and you’ve slammed the door It hurts to know you've shut me out Now I know what love is all about You're happy then you cry and cry Where there was truth becomes all lies All in all it never ends for good But then again, who thought it would?
Why do I always end up thinking of you, your voice, your smile, everything you do at first, I thought this would never work out, I thought we would never last, without a doubt, but I think I’m starting to see what no one else could that it seemed, no one else would, we are perfect for each other, without a doubt, and this time it really will work out
For all the times you made me cry and walked away saying good bye I cared for you, for us you can't tell me that this was just lust all those nights under the stars now you're away so far next time I won't fall for you or someone out of the blue think about it next time you hurt a girl you just might destroy her whole world
I wish upon a star that no matter how far apart we are you will find me and you will see How perfect are we I wish that if for some reason my wishes don’t come true That another person out there is wishing for me.. Hopefully that person is you.
Undreamable love..
Holding your hands & kissing you Feeling your sweet & soft lips too Cuddling keeping each other warm You're keeping me safe from harm Under the stars tonight Along with the moonlight Realizing this is reality Because with you dreams can never compare To all the things we have shared Because our love is undreamable
20/20 Hindsight
I always knew that I did something wrong, But I never quite pegged what it was. I went through life with too many heartaches, I never tried to fix them. I never really wanted to. But that was the tragic downfall, The unfortunate end to which I was brought- I have 20/20 hindsight. I can always see what I SHOULD have done.
I hate the way you look at me. And the way you act so weird. I hate the way you have no clue. I hate it when you're far, not near. I hate your stupid everything. And the way you have no fears. I hate you so much it makes me sick- It even makes some tears. I hate the way I talk to you. I hate it when you're mad. I hate it when you make me happy. Even worse when you make me mad. I hate it that you're just my friend. And the fact that you don't care. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit. It's just not fair.
UPDATE-4-02-03
**What is Love?**
Love is seeing him how no one else does Love is when you know he’s not perfect but you see him perfectly Love is thinking about him day and night Love is when he means the world to you Love is when no one else knows how you feel Love is the best feeling you can feel
*The One I Saw*
The one I saw before my eyes came upon me as no surprise I look at him and his smile while I rested and thought it was all worth while the memories come back and stay a bit no one could ever really imagine it I think about the times we had The good times and the bad ones that made me happy and sad
Love
yes I know what love is I knew it when I got to know you you took my heart Then Of course You shattered it like glass So baby Never Tell me I don’t know what it is like To love
You said you knew I loved you And I thought it was true! But come to find out, I never loved you I know love doesn't last forever But I still wanted to try All the pain and tears I still had left to cry My best friend said it wouldn't last But I thought she was just mad at me Then I got real mad at her And said just wait and see I guess she was right in the first place That I should have kept my distance from you But if she saw you like I did she would love you too! My head said you should try it But my heart said, yet again That I should have listened to the voice of my best friend!!! Well now my heart's in pieces because of one thing: the male race!!!
*I am me*
There will not ever be anyone like me. I am special because I am unique. I am star dust and dreams. I am light. I am love and hope. I am hugs and sometimes tears. I am the words "I love you". I am swirls of blue, green, red, yellow, purple, orange, and the colors no one can name I am the sky, the sea, the earth. I trust yet I fear. I hide yet I don’t hold anything back. I am free I am a child becoming an adult. I am me, and me is just right.
You are like a rose that I keep watering over and over so you will live I love you with all of my heart I care for you with all of my strength If you are sad, I am your kleenex If you are weak, I am your chair If you are mad, I am your calmer If you are lost, I will find you If you are scared, I am your protector If you are mad, I am there to calm you down If you need to talk, I am there to listen
I like you because of who you are to me I hate you because of what you did to me I miss you because you got her, not me I love you and that's how it will always be
A smile can turn the grayness blue A smile can say 'I love you too' A smile can melt any young girls' heart Then how come your smile still tears me apart?
***Boyz***
A heart is not a plaything A heart is not a toy But if you want yours broken Just give it to a boy Boys, they like to play with things To see what makes them run But when it comes to kissing They will do it just for fun They never give their hearts away They play us girls for fools They wait till we give our hearts And then they play it cool You will wonder where he is at night You will wonder if he’s true One minute you will be happy One minute you will be blue So to fall in love with a boy That takes a lot of nerve You see my friend you need a man To get what you deserve /center>
I loved you once I loved you twice But you just weren't very nice So I moved on with some fear And all I got was just a tear But you taught me one thing I’ll always enhance That sometimes life only gives you one chance So take that courage when it comes Take it and don't be like I was because now I want you back But I really don't see that!
*~*From a distance*~*
From a distance I watch him And there is no controling his mind or his heart For I am just watching with a smile so grim It is ripping me apart I cannot change him He loves her and that's the way it has to be Because I am afraid he does not love me And it's sad to say That he feels this way!
Playa
I sit here and wonder if you're really into me Or if you're just like what you say I’m not a stupid girl So don't play me for a fool If you think I’m just along for the ride I’m not into that game I’m really beginning to like what I see in you I’m hoping maybe you like me too
Please don’t judge me by my face, by my religion or my race. Please don’t laugh at what I wear, or how I look or do my hair. Please look a little deeper, way down deep inside. And although you may not see it, I have a lot to hide. Behind my clothes, the secrets lie, behind my smile, I softly cry. Please look a little deeper, and maybe you will see. The lonely little girl, that lives inside of me. Please listen carefully to her, she'll show that she is insecure Please try to be a friend to her, and show her that you care. Please just get to know her, and maybe you will see. That if you just look deep enough, you'll find the real me.
*I wonder what I see in you*
Then I look And I know to love you, you're more than just a clue I look in your eyes And I know you'll tell me no lies Then I looked at you in a differant way That's when I saw the real you
I Always Imagine Your Gentle Touch If Only You Knew I Felt This Much Not Being With You I'm Falling Apart Because I Don't Know How To Get To Your Heart If You Could Only See The Love In My Eyes Of All Those Nights I Sat And Cried Just Look At Me I'm Standing Here Just Call Out My Name And I'll Be There How Long The Wait, I Don't Know When That Day Comes I'll Let It Show If Only You Knew My Feelings For You I'll Stay Hopeful You'll Feel The Same Way Too
I always thought U+Me=Never, You made me believe it meant forever, When you said that, I believed it was true, Even my friends believed I was the one for you. I felt I'd known you all my life Even thought I'd only known you a year. When you dumped me, I felt like my heart had been cut with a knife, That day was the day I saw you smear For weeks I cried, And for weeks I tried, For weeks all I did was long... Then I realized, from the beginning, I was right, and you were wrong.
Sometimes I remember When we were together Everything was perfect In each and every way You loved me forever, and more each day I should have known It was too good to be true I held my head high And tried and tried, to say goodbye I thought about our memories And all the good times The times I had you So tight in my arms And knew that it was true That I'd love you forever and that's what I'll do
-I 'll be fine-

I'll be fine without You I won't even cry even though I know "I love you" was a lie so go on with your life and I'll go on with mine getting pass the knowledge all you did was lie I'm willing to be friends but it will take time untill than....good-bye!
I should have thought faster I didn't have a clue I was irrational and what not but I should have came to you the sad thing is, you came back trying to bring me home your eyes were filled with so many tears oh...now I feel so alone why couldn't I look past the void that kept us far apart I couldn't find a way to forgive you because you had broken my heart and now it's all so different we both changed a lot you moved on and found a girl it's like you just forgot while I’m slowly punishing myself for not figuring out why and I’m completely lost and so confused because I CAN’T say good bye
Near to the door he paused to stand as he took his class ring off her hand all who were watching did not speak as a silent tear ran down his cheek and through his mind the memories ran of the moments they walked and ran in the sand hand and hand but now her eyes were so terribley cold for he would never again have her to hold they watched in silence as he bent near and whispered the words.. "I LOVE YOU" in her ear he touched her face and started to cry as he put on his ring and wanted to die and just then the wind began to blow as they lowered her casket into the snow.... this is what happens to men alive..... when friends let friends.... drink and drive.
You never understood me You didn’t even try. I don’t want this to be so I’m saying goodbye put the key on my table don’t think about coming back You aren’t able to ever win me back
What happened? I’m not sure Everyone asks I tell them I don’t know Every time I see you You look right through me Was something ever there to begin with? Yes. No. I still can’t let go. I keep trying But you’re locked in my heart You took my breath away with your smile You broke my heart with your silence I wish you would talk to me Just be a friend Things have happened And I needed someone to talk to That’s when I wish you were still there I’m done trying to get something back that’s over But I’m still here for you Forever
We've been through so much, more than any one can see... friends forever we will be... since we were little we'd be scrappen our knees... now we be scrappen our hearts playa please... I know we've had so many rough times... but we can't forget about the funny times... stealen the truck getten drunk with boys... when we get our cars we'll be pumpin some noise... when we grow up we can't forget each other... I love you like a sister or maybe a brother... but I hope we don't grow apart from each other... because you’re the best friend unlike no other!!!
As I walk slowly through the meadow The sun slowly begins to sink I'm not alone but with my shadow As I watch the sky turn pink
I am here and you are there Only the ground separates us But as each day goes by We see the same sun rise and fall And I know that you will always be there
-I'll be there-
When no one is there for you And you think no one cares When the whole world walks out on you And you think you're alone I'll be there When the one you care about the most Could care less about you When the one you gave your heart Throws it in your face I'll be there When the person you trusted Betrays you When the person you share all your memories with Can’t even remember your birthday I'll be there When all you need is a friend To listen to you whine When all you need is someone To catch your tears I'll be there When your heart hurts so bad You can’t even breathe When you just want to crawl up and die I'll be there When you start to cry After hearing that sad song When the tears just won't Stop falling down I'll be there So you see I'll be there until the end This is a promise I can make If you ever need me Just give me a call and... I'll be there...
he played me like a blonde I was too busy faling for that smile to ever notice what he was doing well I was in total love he was well let’s say he wasn’t my friend got me out but boy was I hurt I still need him I tell my firends I am ok and he is a jerk but that jerk has my heart and well he was found someone new. it hurts me inside to see them together I am back where I started he played me for a blonde!
-Wanting you-
Looking deeply into your seductive blue eyes Visions of us together my only paradise Your arms wrapped around me so tight Would be the perfect moment nothing short of just right Your body's gentle caress upon mine That sexy little smile when you look at me No other guy can compare I want you to see Wanting you to be all mine in every way Your the only one in my thoughts every day It would be my fantasy my dream come true The day I can say I have you
As my heart lies in broken pieces upon the ground, You don't even know the pieces exist. As my tears fall like liquid diamonds upon my cheeks, You don't even feel the pain I am going through. You don't even know about The broken pieces of the heart that still loves you And that always will. As my voice echoes through the silent atmosphere, You don't even hear the resounding cry. As the mist swirls silently around me, chilling the tears, You don't even care that I suffer the agony of lost love. You wouldn't even look back To see the pale face of the girl who loved you And who always will.
People lie People die Then people sit And wonder why Boys are bad Boys are sad Boys get upset because the girls been had Girls are nice Girls think twice But we wonder why Boys have a price
Cold Freezing Try not to cry Hard Painful Icicles fill my eyes Many Hot Other guys But No They won't get a try
Next time you question me, I'll take it offensively. No more being nice, you should've thought twice about hurtin me. I’m make you feel like I do, if it's even possible for you. because I don't think you care about anything.. and you're not even aware of any of the pain you put me through. I wish I could say I don't love you, but that would be lying, and that's something I won't do. Because I wouldn't want to end up being like you! Oh how I wish I could see tears seep through your eyes, but even that wouldn't be enough to cover up the lies you kept from me.
No sleep last night, too busy thinkin of you. I was tryin to figure out how I could fix things, but I can't. You wouldn't want me to anyway, so I guess I'll just have to stop loving you somehow. And only love the memory of me actually thinking you cared. It hurt bad. I shouldn't waste my tears, I know. It's kind of too late to say that. I've already unleashed thousands, because every thought I ever had was about you. And every dream I ever wished came true - when you entered my life. And now you're slowly disappearing, so I didn't sleep last night.
Ten things I hate about You: I hate it when you talk to me and the way you cut your hair I hate it when you stare I hate your big bad combat boots and the way you read my mind I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme I hate it when your always right I hate it when you lie I hate it when you make me laugh and even worse when you make me cry I hate it when your not around and the fact that you didn't call But most of all I hate how I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
"It's gonna be Alright" Minutes after the big fight, I realized it wasn't right. I heard the yelling in my head, But all I saw was a sea of red. Then that night I laid awake in bed, And reviewed all the mean things that I had said. Then the intense red calmed to a blue, And I knew the things I had to do. I shouldn't have said the things I did, I was just being a stupid kid. I'm glad that you understood, Because I didn't think that you would. I had, had a bad day and I thought that you knew, Either way I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Now the blue faded to a white, And I smiled knowing everything would be all right.
Love
As lovers sit beside each other eye to eye they see how meaningful and full of love each other shall always be Love they say is to strong for words and to strong to throw around but nothing feels more like love then listening to their hearts' which pound Love is the most incredible feeling one usually describes with sighs you can feel the warmth and respect when you look in to your lovers eyes If Love should ever come within two hearts their souls will colide into one Then life will turn into a wonderful place and seem there is good to be done.
I liked you so much, I didn't tell you. I didn't want to damage A friendship so true. I'd say I love you, But you don't love me back. And love is a reciprical thing.
The Day
The day was the last The day was gone The day was sad The day made me mad Because you left my heart
~3 Seconds~
3 seconds to say I love you 3 hours to explain How you can love me But because of me all this pain You leave my heart with grieve and you cause me to cry So I'll give you a kiss and tell you good-bye My heart still wants you here But my mind says "NO" So I'll find another place and somewhere to go I'll love you forever and I hope we can still be friends But this is how it happens this is how it ends
If love were simple why are there break-ups? If friends are supposed to be true, why do some lie? If guys are supposed to love, why are there the one's that break your heart? Everyone says things are simple then there's that one that makes it hard.
I Will Still Be Loving You
I can’t describe this love I have for you The only thing I know is that its true And when the sun goes away You brighten up the rest of my day I can’t describe the way I feel My heart tells me that this love is real You know that when all my days and nights are through I will still be loving you I love you
SOMEBODY CARES
Though we can't be together Somebody cares if you're happy today, If your heart is cheerful and light. Somebody cares if you're feeling good And everything's going just right. And somebody hopes that this message will show, In a warm little heart-to-heart way.. You're thought of, remembered, and happily wished an especially wonderful day!
~Asian Pride~
Asian pride is on my mind Asian blood is in my kind so step aside and let me through because it’s all about the asian crew Asian love is all around for my fellow asians never let me down so show your pride and say its true because asian genes can be in you
The Not So Perfect Guy
If you ask me what I look for in a guy I will say that I look for a guy who trys A guy who lives life and deals with what it brings And not someone who will try to buy my love with diamond rings I’m not asking for the so called "perfect guy" Just some who will be there for me if I need to cry someone who will always care someone who will lend a hand and will always be there
You said you loved me I thought it was true You said you wanted it to last for ever I did too 2 months later it was over I still loved you 3 months after the break up we found our love agian it only lasted for a day you said I would see you again you lied Now it is more then a year later I still love you While your telling some other girl you love her
He means so much to me I just wish he knew because when I’m around him the skys a different blue and when he talks to me my knees begin to shake the last thing I want is another heartbreak if he would love me like I do I could tell him that I will always be true but when I try to talk I just dont know what to say because I know he doesn’t feel the same way you loved me you loved me not you loved me and then told my friend she was hott did you really love me let me think ummmmm..... NO!
We laughed and talked and had so much fun but soon we will have none we were such good friends and that you can't deny but now we will have to say good-bye I will miss you very much , even if I will still see you because I know we won't be like we used to you will go your way and I will go mine but I will think about you all the time
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Email: bad_azz_gurls_luv_bad_azz_boyz@yahoo.com