The Glorified Ramifications of a Mistreated Youth

EMAIL VINNIE

>>>> scorpionsnest@hotmail.com <<<<

ALL OF THESE POEMS HAVE BEEN COPYWRITED

BY VINCE SO PLEASE DONT COPY THEM

UNLESS YOU HAVE HIS PERMISSION !!

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A HAPPY PLACE!!!

ThE bLOod weLLs tHe bLAde bIT deEp tHE pAIN is SEarING My soUL WiLL sLEep

The LIghTs GrOw Dim tHE cURtaINs CloSE THe sUFfering EndeD my SPIRit rosE

Now i'M HaPpy I'm nOW at PeACe THereS nO moRE toRMenT aLL wOrRiEs CeASe

You GO thROUgh my RoOm mY paGEs yOu find tHe pAin piECed togEtHer As yOU siFt tHrouGh my MiNd

"iF oNly wE kneW" "If oNly You sPoke" your emoTioNs CONsuMe yOu oN yOUr tEars yOu ChoKe

My DreAminG enDs! mY PaiN RENEWED i LiVE NoT To HUrt You I suFfER FoR YOU!!

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Addicted

I open my lungs I take you in

My mind finds bliss “they call this sin?”

I’m not addicted there is no need

It’s on your lovely bliss I!! Feed

My eyes bleed red the pain subsides

In your ignorant embrace my torment hides

Your grip releases I want more

I find your friends to fill your chore

I drink them up I swallow them down

A stronger embrace I am now bound

I’m not addicted there is no need

It’s on your deadly breath I!! Feed

I hear words ADDICT I hear BINGE

I hear them whisper see them cringe

I'm not addicted cant they see

That without you I can’t stand me

I want you always I take you in

I feel your burning love begin

A love that chews my soul to the bone

The pain without you is one I’ve never known

I take you all maybe too much

And my minds eye begins to shut

There is no pain there is no sin

Now let the endless night begin

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Beautiful

The mirror lies

Her mind it screams

Your fat your ugly

It haunts her dreams

I hate this shell

This husk called me

I can’t be beautiful

Just set me free

The mirror lies

Her mind it scream

Your fat your ugly

It haunts her dreams

I hate this shell

This husk called me

I can’t be beautiful

Just set me free

Her nails are brown

Her hair is thin

Her bones trace lines

Along her skin

The mirror lies

Her mind it screams

Against the wall

It breaks like dreams

She cuts herself

To watch it bleed

To demon hate

This pain she feeds

As her mind grows dark

A reflection she sees

Now I am beautiful

Now I am free

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No longer

The smiles are all fake

The tears deep inside

To ashamed to talk

To proud to cry..

The drugs the women

The little pain games

Have hidden the bleeding

But the scars still remain

These torments inside

Have festered you see

But I still cannot tell

You why it hurts to be me

So more drugs

More women

More scratches and burns

... My soul still lies bleeding

The pain still returns

The smiles once more fake

The tears still inside

Still will not talk still cannot cry.

I’ll live through it

I know this

I can never quit

The pains not that bad

So I’ll smile and I’ll sit

And I’ll give little glimpses

Of the pain that is I

And I’ll pray for the day

When I’ll no longer be…

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Pass my way

I see you laugh see you smile

See you tears once in a while

What is the image that you see?

When you sit and smile at me

My face is dark my smile is cold

I feel so weary and so old

You pick me up stand me tall

In your embrace I cease to fall

You prop me on your shoulders dear

There’s no more dark the sky is clear

I see the wind dance in the trees

Smell their sweetness in the breeze

I sit and laugh I start to cry

I wave and smile at passers by

It doesn’t seem so bad up here

But this futures yours not mine my dear

Though dreaming ends as all dreams do

I will not say goo bye to you

And though I wont beg you to stay

I hope when next you pass my way

You’ll end your journey for I while

So once more I can sit and smile.

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Shell

This My soul in shreds

My heart left bleeding

My own self-loathing

This pain I’m feeding

This pain in me

I've lived before

And once again

Am made its whore

This time its worse

I’m crushed within

withered shell

Is worn and thin

It comes to me

I feed again

These pills and pain

I crave again

I sit and shudder

Curled in pain

These blood soaked tears

Shed in vain

I know you cared

I know you cried

This loveless life

I cannot hide

You see my torment

Feel my pain

The tears you shed

Are shed in vain

While breath I take

There is no me

It’ll make you suffer

Till I cease to be

I want closure

But cannot end

Without love

Only pain my friend

So when I pass

Don’t grieve and cry

It’s only a shell

That’s left to die

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Timeless

Sable stain blotted ink

Deep and dark a mind it sinks

Split in two asunder has torn

A sleepless voice he has now bourn

A tangled mess a silent rage

A timeless voice no name no age

It feeds his fears tells him lies

"Your ugly, useless, die" it cries

It feasts on tears and pain and blood

"Your life I want" his mind a flood

In all his thoughts and all his dreams

His life he takes to dull the screams

The voice it mocks him calls him weak

Breaks his spirit makes him meek

He fights himself his body bruised

His demons rage he will refuse

Till day the painful journeys end

And he can be whole again

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Mine

This pain inside this pain I feel

This pain I hide that you made real

This pain I love this pain I hate

This constant torture I cannot sedate

I love this pain

Its life itself

And I hate this pain

As I hate myself

This pain inside this pain I feel this pain now loose that I made real

This pain it breaths this pain has grown this pain is mine and mine alone

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. 9

Ugly

Remember me now?

I’m the child you loved to hate

I’d say that I forgive you

But it’s already to late

You said that I was ugly

I was weird I was a freak

You told me I was nothing

I was stupid I was weak

Always some ones punching bag

Always some ones game

I never really fit in

I was useless I was lame

I’d say that I forgive you

But the time has past and gone

I wish you’d said you’re sorry

I wish that you were wrong

Now they say that I am useful

That my life still has a future

But the damage you did long ago

Is now my constant pain and torture

You were right I ‘am nothing.

I am ugly to the bone

But the ugliness is deep within

And you’ll know it when you’re gone

I’ve lived this through a thousand times

In my nightmares in my dreams

In the recess of my mind

I am calm amongst your screams

The pain that you are feeling

Is a scratch to what I feel.

But now it’s to late for forgiveness

I’m the ugly you made real

There you say that you were sorry

That it was all a fucking joke

And you beg me for forgiveness

On you blood and tears you’ll choke

Remember me now

I’m the child you loved to hate

I’d say that I forgive you

But it’s way to fucking late

I’d say that I forgive you

But your time has past and gone

I wish you’d said you were sorry

I wish that you were wrong

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.10

Wreck

Hiding in my broken cage

Remorse regrets they fill the page,

My life’s a mess a tangled lie.

The ones I need have passed me by,

No longer mine, no longer yours

A facade of rage to hide the sores

Another breath another lie,

A chemical need to pass life by,

They drown the fear mask the pain

Though bleeding grows cannot contain

Repressed emotion replaced with rage,

I tear apart my rusty cage

Search the wreckage for my remains.

My blackened heart is bound in pain

I see my wounds etched in stone.

Without my cage I died alone

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.11

Remorseless

I've sinned again

No surprise

Bodily abuse

All hurt and lies

This life I live

Is just a game

Russian roulette

No one to blame

This path I walk

Is paved in pain

It breaks your soul

I sin again

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.12

Beast

Twisted torn and full of hate

This life was never mine

This seething beast you helped create

Will kill you down the line

It lives it breaths its in my soul

My will it kills and grows

It tastes my life now it wants yours

It eats and sees and knows

Its breath is rage its flesh is pain

It’s every word a lie

Its teeth and claws bite deep again

Too strong to ever die

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.13

Destiny

Cold dank and memory filled

My room my heart my soul

Evil images and words around

How long have I felt this cold?

A gaze around search within

So empty, cold, alone

Burning images, seeking warmth

Burnt numb, chilled to the bone

Swallow poisons, bleed my skin

a new life I paint with pain

“SINNER” branded with my own hand

new life is mine again

fuck you and this life you lead

this shit was never me

I’ve found my destiny and who I am

YOUR me I cease to be

I’ll package pain, deal it to you

And all you rot in hell

And when you finally reach your end

It’ll be I that toll the bell

You did this to me you killed my all

Devoured my love my heart

And now this twisted bitter shell

Makes your misery my art

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.14

Sleepless

The moons embrace envelopes world

A velvet night unfolds

Glistening black and silver gold

A restless mind beholds

Sleepless dreamland silver tipped

A deafening silence drapes

A peaceful nightmare cold and damp

Never to escape

A terrible endless night, the mind recoils

Till twilight dusk unfurls

And wisps of day bring life and light

To my dreamy sleepless world

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.15

Weathered

Hate filled till empty, hardened heart

wasted blackened soul

Gone again all emotion fades

Ragged thin and cold

Running from nothing

Overtaken by all

A worthless hiding wretch

Bleeding tears from a thousand wounds

My weathered life is stretched

Growing tired hating all

Another dream made dust

Soiled memories burn and fall

No life no love no trust

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.16

the last step

Take your life’s last fearful step

Relish in the plunge

Enjoy your life’s last fleeting breath

Headlong to death you lunge

Don’t be afraid its soon all done

This pain it soon will end

This cold and miserable existence gone

Finally peace around the bend

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.17

Never ends

A scarlet stream on china white

A life force ebbing cold

A shattered mirror lies beside

This pains been bought and sold

A curtain closing velvet black

The lights are growing dim

The final breath seeps from blue lips

This war is yours to win

Banging doors, sirens, light

What is this I was gone

They rush you in, bring you back

“He’ll survive” the nurses song

One more little failure

In this big game we call life

Next time you will succeed

When you choose to roll the dice

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.18

Silver lining broken

Black on black heaven and sea

On a glistening starlit night

Silver lined and velvet black

Soft peaks of broken white

Hear the crash feel the roar

Smell salty ocean air

I should be happy the night is clear

If only you were there

The calm shore breaks

I see my self comparing scene to life

I sense that this means so much more

Chilled cold by all my strife

The silver line that my life once had

Lies broken on the shore

The sharp rock my wave fell up on

Take you away forever more

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.19

Can’t be alright

Frozen still eyes blue and clear

Reflect a cloud filled sky

Words now spoken revealing fears

Only word escapes is why

I thought our time would last an age

Now I know that it’s not true

Another pain and tearful page

All I think about is you

Why

Can’t you tell me?

Every thing will be all right

God

Can’t you tell me?

Every thing will be all right

I’ve done my dash I’ve lost my soul

I’ve killed my heart and all

I hate myself and all I’ve become

And I’ve lost you in the fall

No life no stability

Once rock now wind blown dust

Made a mess of this shattered thing called life

And within lost your trust

Please

Just tell me

Every thing will be all right

The scars were starting to heal

Every thing will be all right

I know that you can’t tell me

Every thing will be all right

I know it can never be

Every thing will be all right

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20.

A cross to bare

Never the man I was meant to be

But trying too hard to change

Dealt another cruel hand by fate

The dark skies still remain

What is this thorn deep in my side?

My conscience I have found

It tears apart my heart and soul

To this cross I am now bound

Where should I go what should I do

The earth looks warm and strong

I crawl into a wholesome pill

To pass the time along

I know that I must live through this

Yet know that I will fall

And when I finally do give in

My cross shall bare my all

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.21

Rose heart

Spreading slowly, curling out

A heart in bloom does grow

Shined on with kindness glows brightly

Its scent so sweetly flows

You love its colours, its warming glow

This love is what you seek

You cut it cleanly, store away

This love, this heart you'll keep

Ever jealous no will to share

This heart in lock and key

But with out the light of others

This heart will cease to be

Colours fade crimson to black

Defense grows sharp as thorn

Withers slowly, falls apart

This heart once yours, you mourn

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.22

Nothing to gain

Sympathise with shadows

Found darkness in my hearts place

I’d love for you to love me

But your love I cant embrace

Love to break lose from pain for a moment

But know I can’t be free

Shed tears for lost emotions

Wanting to be alone but lonelier is all I’ll be

Tried to smother hatred

But only fed it pain

When I think there’s nothing left to lose

Its clear there’ less to gain

I’d kill to have your passion

But all I get is tears

And the depth of hidden tortures

Is more than a sum of fears

Bleed to break lose from pain for a moment

Though pain wont set me free

Bloody tears for lost emotions

And a love that will not be

Pushing all away to be alone

Lost lonely with my pain

When I think there’s nothing left to lose

it’s clear there’s less to gain

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.23

Can’t be there

Fucked another friendship

For words I cannot say

Maybe I can fix my life

Wasn’t meant to be this way

How can I be there for anyone?

When I cant to be here for me

What am I supposed to do?

What am I meant to be?

Can’t hold you on my shoulders

When my problems broke my back

Built a wall to keep them in

But your pressure made it crack

Why should I be there for any one?

When I don’t want to be here for me

What was I supposed to do?

Who was I meant to be?

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24.

Sinner

Once again the world slumbers around me, as I lie gazing into eternity,

mothering a broken soul, I hide from a thousand screaming emotions, haunting

my dreams and moments of peace, a sinner I cry into cupped hands praying to a

divinity I do not believe in and torturing myself for the weakness I feel

for not being all I could be, a spark a flickering demon glow, an ember of

release breaths peace into me the pain of me subsides and sleeps lightly behind a wall

of false hopes, I cling to its embrace and hide from a world that will not let me sleep

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25.

Evil is an end in its own

Eyes crack open,

The morning breaks,

In dusty light,

This form awakes

Tired limbs stretch,

It’s time to fight,

It seems we survived another night

The day starts with poison,

Rank fumes and pills

Aroused from fitful slumber,

Against it's will

Heart still beating,

And yet so cold,

Bleeds for amusement,

We shall not grow old

Goes through each day,

Scorning the fold,

Enjoying your tears,

Shunning the world

Adorned in pain,

Making death fashion,

Still you come near,

Grieving with passion

Signs say beware,

"Leave me alone"

The darkness attracts,

This can't be wrong

Its web it ensnares you,

Draws you in slow,

Passed torch of torture,

Sinks into your soul

Now you and it are one,

This misery you share,

And you travel the gloom warning others beware.

It feeds you more pain,

Then heavenly chemicals,

In black shells you hide,

Living pain animals

Pushed away,

You bleed from the pain,

We thought we were one

This pain beast it hates us,

It wants to be free,

It tears you apart,

"I can't just be me"

It kills you inside,

Ferverently feeding it pain,

Till your life it has taken,

The beast wins again

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26.

Kill me

I want you to kill me motherfucker

I want to feel your pain

I want you to end this cheap existence

And let your god take the blame

You know you want to do it

Put up your fucking hands

Take some responsibility for your words

And step up like a man

Make me feel the pain I give you

Make those dreams come true

Put a fucking knife to me

And let me bleed anew

If you don’t take a stand

I’m going to come for you

And make all your worst nightmares

Scream and cry it’s true

You feel the bile building

But you’re such a fucking worm

I’m going to leave you bleeding

Then you'll know you’ve missed your turn

I'm coming to fucking get you

And that fucking god you love

Then your tears will rain from heaven

And you'll scream rage from above

Your Jesus fucking hates you

He hates you just like me

He’s not there to protect you

And in this end you’ll see

I am your only god

Your hate and fears I tend

The blood on my hands will be yours

I will be there in the end

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29.

Broken

You want to watch me fall

You already know my mind

You sought to tame my heart

But my fear is all that’s mine

Insecurities lashing out

My heart torn out, abused

Left me cold and shameful

My body bloodied, bruised

I scream a nameless torture

Scarred for life inside and out

I kill my self to sleep each night

Each morning laced with doubt

I’d kill myself if my life were mine

I’d kill you if I’d be free

I’d give you all my life was worth

If me is all I’d be

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30.

Severed

I need another prescription please

I need a stronger leash

Another drug to kill the pain

If I will not heal, release

I bleed; it’s all I have to give

I’m nothing if not dead

Inside I’m cold, I feel no pain

"It’s all inside my head?"

It’s all ok, I will be fine

no rain can last forever

but if I am all I’m meant to be

when will this bond be severed

I do not fear this any more

no torture is worse than this

if it all would end right here right now

there’s nothing I will miss

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31.

games

Leave me alone

I’m not a toy

I am a man

but was a boy

you took what’s mine

and left me none

made me a game

”am I such fun?”

Why do you torment

Make play with me

I’ll kill you one day

Just to be free

You fucking fool

You senseless fuck

This light you play in

Are beams of a truck

This gun is loaded

It’s no longer a game

I’ll fuck you up

There’ll be no blame

Too late its over

You couldn’t see

As you played on the edge

Of the blade that is me

Well it’s finally my turn

To make true my dreams

But this time you wont laugh

Your last breath a scream

Try to laugh with a barrel

Between gritted teeth

Or a noose tied with love

And end you will meet

Try to laugh with your throat slit

As your life ebbs and wanes

But I guess you were right

It was only a game

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32.

my bleeding heart

weeps tears of shame

tore many hearts

thought love was a game

if i could start again

begin anew

if i could choose any one

it wouldnt be you

you deserved much better

though i gave all that i am

you derseved to be happy

im just not that man

regret remorse

it's all thats left

chilled my soul

heart bereft

threw away love

my decision made

i've lived to regret

this path i've laid

if i could start again

begin anew

if i could choose anyone

it wouldnt be you

you deserved much better

though i gave all that i am

you derseved to be happy

im just not that man

i pick up the pieces

start over again

perhaps with the next

i'll be more than i am

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