EMAIL VINNIE
>>>> scorpionsnest@hotmail.com <<<<
ALL OF THESE POEMS HAVE BEEN COPYWRITED
BY VINCE SO PLEASE DONT COPY THEM
UNLESS YOU HAVE HIS PERMISSION !!
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.1
A HAPPY PLACE!!!
~
ThE bLOod weLLs tHe bLAde bIT deEp tHE pAIN is SEarING My soUL WiLL sLEep
~
The LIghTs GrOw Dim tHE cURtaINs CloSE THe sUFfering EndeD my SPIRit rosE
~
Now i'M HaPpy I'm nOW at PeACe THereS nO moRE toRMenT aLL wOrRiEs CeASe
~
You GO thROUgh my RoOm mY paGEs yOu find tHe pAin piECed togEtHer As yOU siFt tHrouGh my MiNd
~
"iF oNly wE kneW" "If oNly You sPoke" your emoTioNs CONsuMe yOu oN yOUr tEars yOu ChoKe
~
My DreAminG enDs! mY PaiN RENEWED i LiVE NoT To HUrt You I suFfER FoR YOU!!
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.2
Addicted
~
I open my lungs I take you in
My mind finds bliss “they call this sin?”
I’m not addicted there is no need
It’s on your lovely bliss I!! Feed
My eyes bleed red the pain subsides
In your ignorant embrace my torment hides
Your grip releases I want more
I find your friends to fill your chore
I drink them up I swallow them down
A stronger embrace I am now bound
I’m not addicted there is no need
It’s on your deadly breath I!! Feed
I hear words ADDICT I hear BINGE
I hear them whisper see them cringe
I'm not addicted cant they see
That without you I can’t stand me
I want you always I take you in
I feel your burning love begin
A love that chews my soul to the bone
The pain without you is one I’ve never known
I take you all maybe too much
And my minds eye begins to shut
There is no pain there is no sin
Now let the endless night begin
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.3
Beautiful
~
The mirror lies
Her mind it screams
Your fat your ugly
It haunts her dreams
~
I hate this shell
This husk called me
I can’t be beautiful
Just set me free
~
The mirror lies
Her mind it scream
Your fat your ugly
It haunts her dreams
~
I hate this shell
This husk called me
I can’t be beautiful
Just set me free
~
Her nails are brown
Her hair is thin
Her bones trace lines
Along her skin
~
The mirror lies
Her mind it screams
Against the wall
It breaks like dreams
~
She cuts herself
To watch it bleed
To demon hate
This pain she feeds
~
As her mind grows dark
A reflection she sees
Now I am beautiful
Now I am free
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4.
No longer
~
The smiles are all fake
The tears deep inside
To ashamed to talk
To proud to cry..
The drugs the women
The little pain games
Have hidden the bleeding
But the scars still remain
These torments inside
Have festered you see
But I still cannot tell
You why it hurts to be me
So more drugs
More women
More scratches and burns
... My soul still lies bleeding
The pain still returns
The smiles once more fake
The tears still inside
Still will not talk still cannot cry.
I’ll live through it
I know this
I can never quit
The pains not that bad
So I’ll smile and I’ll sit
And I’ll give little glimpses
Of the pain that is I
And I’ll pray for the day
When I’ll no longer be…
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.5
Pass my way
~
I see you laugh see you smile
See you tears once in a while
~
What is the image that you see?
When you sit and smile at me
~
My face is dark my smile is cold
I feel so weary and so old
~
You pick me up stand me tall
In your embrace I cease to fall
~
You prop me on your shoulders dear
There’s no more dark the sky is clear
~
I see the wind dance in the trees
Smell their sweetness in the breeze
~
I sit and laugh I start to cry
I wave and smile at passers by
~
It doesn’t seem so bad up here
But this futures yours not mine my dear
~
Though dreaming ends as all dreams do
I will not say goo bye to you
~
And though I wont beg you to stay
I hope when next you pass my way
~
You’ll end your journey for I while
So once more I can sit and smile.
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6.
Shell
~
This My soul in shreds
My heart left bleeding
My own self-loathing
This pain I’m feeding
This pain in me
I've lived before
And once again
Am made its whore
This time its worse
I’m crushed within
withered shell
Is worn and thin
It comes to me
I feed again
These pills and pain
I crave again
I sit and shudder
Curled in pain
These blood soaked tears
Shed in vain
I know you cared
I know you cried
This loveless life
I cannot hide
You see my torment
Feel my pain
The tears you shed
Are shed in vain
While breath I take
There is no me
It’ll make you suffer
Till I cease to be
I want closure
But cannot end
Without love
Only pain my friend
So when I pass
Don’t grieve and cry
It’s only a shell
That’s left to die
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.7
Timeless
~
Sable stain blotted ink
Deep and dark a mind it sinks
Split in two asunder has torn
A sleepless voice he has now bourn
A tangled mess a silent rage
A timeless voice no name no age
It feeds his fears tells him lies
"Your ugly, useless, die" it cries
It feasts on tears and pain and blood
"Your life I want" his mind a flood
In all his thoughts and all his dreams
His life he takes to dull the screams
The voice it mocks him calls him weak
Breaks his spirit makes him meek
He fights himself his body bruised
His demons rage he will refuse
Till day the painful journeys end
And he can be whole again
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.8
Mine
~
This pain inside this pain I feel
This pain I hide that you made real
This pain I love this pain I hate
This constant torture I cannot sedate
I love this pain
Its life itself
And I hate this pain
As I hate myself
This pain inside this pain I feel this pain now loose that I made real
This pain it breaths this pain has grown this pain is mine and mine alone
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. 9
Ugly
~
Remember me now?
I’m the child you loved to hate
I’d say that I forgive you
But it’s already to late
~
You said that I was ugly
I was weird I was a freak
You told me I was nothing
I was stupid I was weak
~
Always some ones punching bag
Always some ones game
I never really fit in
I was useless I was lame
~
I’d say that I forgive you
But the time has past and gone
I wish you’d said you’re sorry
I wish that you were wrong
~
Now they say that I am useful
That my life still has a future
But the damage you did long ago
Is now my constant pain and torture
~
You were right I ‘am nothing.
I am ugly to the bone
But the ugliness is deep within
And you’ll know it when you’re gone
~
I’ve lived this through a thousand times
In my nightmares in my dreams
In the recess of my mind
I am calm amongst your screams
~
The pain that you are feeling
Is a scratch to what I feel.
But now it’s to late for forgiveness
I’m the ugly you made real
~
There you say that you were sorry
That it was all a fucking joke
And you beg me for forgiveness
On you blood and tears you’ll choke
~
Remember me now
I’m the child you loved to hate
I’d say that I forgive you
But it’s way to fucking late
I’d say that I forgive you
But your time has past and gone
I wish you’d said you were sorry
I wish that you were wrong
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.10
Wreck
~
Hiding in my broken cage
Remorse regrets they fill the page,
My life’s a mess a tangled lie.
The ones I need have passed me by,
~
No longer mine, no longer yours
A facade of rage to hide the sores
Another breath another lie,
A chemical need to pass life by,
~
They drown the fear mask the pain
Though bleeding grows cannot contain
Repressed emotion replaced with rage,
I tear apart my rusty cage
~
Search the wreckage for my remains.
My blackened heart is bound in pain
I see my wounds etched in stone.
Without my cage I died alone
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.11
Remorseless
~
I've sinned again
No surprise
Bodily abuse
All hurt and lies
This life I live
Is just a game
Russian roulette
No one to blame
This path I walk
Is paved in pain
It breaks your soul
I sin again
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.12
Beast
~
Twisted torn and full of hate
This life was never mine
This seething beast you helped create
Will kill you down the line
~
It lives it breaths its in my soul
My will it kills and grows
It tastes my life now it wants yours
It eats and sees and knows
~
Its breath is rage its flesh is pain
It’s every word a lie
Its teeth and claws bite deep again
Too strong to ever die
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.13
Destiny
~
Cold dank and memory filled
My room my heart my soul
Evil images and words around
How long have I felt this cold?
~
A gaze around search within
So empty, cold, alone
Burning images, seeking warmth
Burnt numb, chilled to the bone
~
Swallow poisons, bleed my skin
a new life I paint with pain
“SINNER” branded with my own hand
new life is mine again
~
fuck you and this life you lead
this shit was never me
I’ve found my destiny and who I am
YOUR me I cease to be
~
I’ll package pain, deal it to you
And all you rot in hell
And when you finally reach your end
It’ll be I that toll the bell
~
You did this to me you killed my all
Devoured my love my heart
And now this twisted bitter shell
Makes your misery my art
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.14
Sleepless
~
The moons embrace envelopes world
A velvet night unfolds
Glistening black and silver gold
A restless mind beholds
~
Sleepless dreamland silver tipped
A deafening silence drapes
A peaceful nightmare cold and damp
Never to escape
~
A terrible endless night, the mind recoils
Till twilight dusk unfurls
And wisps of day bring life and light
To my dreamy sleepless world
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.15
Weathered
~
Hate filled till empty, hardened heart
wasted blackened soul
Gone again all emotion fades
Ragged thin and cold
Running from nothing
Overtaken by all
A worthless hiding wretch
Bleeding tears from a thousand wounds
My weathered life is stretched
Growing tired hating all
Another dream made dust
Soiled memories burn and fall
No life no love no trust
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.16
the last step
~
Take your life’s last fearful step
Relish in the plunge
Enjoy your life’s last fleeting breath
Headlong to death you lunge
Don’t be afraid its soon all done
This pain it soon will end
This cold and miserable existence gone
Finally peace around the bend
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.17
Never ends
~
A scarlet stream on china white
A life force ebbing cold
A shattered mirror lies beside
This pains been bought and sold
A curtain closing velvet black
The lights are growing dim
The final breath seeps from blue lips
This war is yours to win
Banging doors, sirens, light
What is this I was gone
They rush you in, bring you back
“He’ll survive” the nurses song
One more little failure
In this big game we call life
Next time you will succeed
When you choose to roll the dice
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.18
Silver lining broken
~
Black on black heaven and sea
On a glistening starlit night
Silver lined and velvet black
Soft peaks of broken white
Hear the crash feel the roar
Smell salty ocean air
I should be happy the night is clear
If only you were there
The calm shore breaks
I see my self comparing scene to life
I sense that this means so much more
Chilled cold by all my strife
The silver line that my life once had
Lies broken on the shore
The sharp rock my wave fell up on
Take you away forever more
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.19
Can’t be alright
~
Frozen still eyes blue and clear
Reflect a cloud filled sky
Words now spoken revealing fears
Only word escapes is why
I thought our time would last an age
Now I know that it’s not true
Another pain and tearful page
All I think about is you
~
Why
Can’t you tell me?
Every thing will be all right
~
God
Can’t you tell me?
Every thing will be all right
Every thing will be all right
Every thing will be all right
Every thing will be all right
I’ve done my dash I’ve lost my soul
I’ve killed my heart and all
I hate myself and all I’ve become
And I’ve lost you in the fall
No life no stability
Once rock now wind blown dust
Made a mess of this shattered thing called life
And within lost your trust
~
Please
Just tell me
Every thing will be all right
The scars were starting to heal
Every thing will be all right
I know that you can’t tell me
Every thing will be all right
I know it can never be
Every thing will be all right
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20.
A cross to bare
~
Never the man I was meant to be
But trying too hard to change
Dealt another cruel hand by fate
The dark skies still remain
What is this thorn deep in my side?
My conscience I have found
It tears apart my heart and soul
To this cross I am now bound
Where should I go what should I do
The earth looks warm and strong
I crawl into a wholesome pill
To pass the time along
I know that I must live through this
Yet know that I will fall
And when I finally do give in
My cross shall bare my all
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.21
Rose heart
~
Spreading slowly, curling out
A heart in bloom does grow
Shined on with kindness glows brightly
Its scent so sweetly flows
~
You love its colours, its warming glow
This love is what you seek
You cut it cleanly, store away
This love, this heart you'll keep
~
Ever jealous no will to share
This heart in lock and key
But with out the light of others
This heart will cease to be
~
Colours fade crimson to black
Defense grows sharp as thorn
Withers slowly, falls apart
This heart once yours, you mourn
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.22
Nothing to gain
~
Sympathise with shadows
Found darkness in my hearts place
I’d love for you to love me
But your love I cant embrace
~
Love to break lose from pain for a moment
But know I can’t be free
Shed tears for lost emotions
Wanting to be alone but lonelier is all I’ll be
~
Tried to smother hatred
But only fed it pain
When I think there’s nothing left to lose
Its clear there’ less to gain
~
I’d kill to have your passion
But all I get is tears
And the depth of hidden tortures
Is more than a sum of fears
~
Bleed to break lose from pain for a moment
Though pain wont set me free
Bloody tears for lost emotions
And a love that will not be
~
Pushing all away to be alone
Lost lonely with my pain
When I think there’s nothing left to lose
it’s clear there’s less to gain
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.23
Can’t be there
~
Fucked another friendship
For words I cannot say
Maybe I can fix my life
Wasn’t meant to be this way
How can I be there for anyone?
When I cant to be here for me
What am I supposed to do?
What am I meant to be?
Can’t hold you on my shoulders
When my problems broke my back
Built a wall to keep them in
But your pressure made it crack
Why should I be there for any one?
When I don’t want to be here for me
What was I supposed to do?
Who was I meant to be?
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24.
Sinner
~
Once again the world slumbers around me, as I lie gazing into eternity,
mothering a broken soul, I hide from a thousand screaming emotions, haunting
my dreams and moments of peace, a sinner I cry into cupped hands praying to a
divinity I do not believe in and torturing myself for the weakness I feel
for not being all I could be, a spark a flickering demon glow, an ember of
release breaths peace into me the pain of me subsides and sleeps lightly behind a wall
of false hopes, I cling to its embrace and hide from a world that will not let me sleep
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25.
Evil is an end in its own
~
Eyes crack open,
The morning breaks,
In dusty light,
This form awakes
Tired limbs stretch,
It’s time to fight,
It seems we survived another night
The day starts with poison,
Rank fumes and pills
Aroused from fitful slumber,
Against it's will
Heart still beating,
And yet so cold,
Bleeds for amusement,
We shall not grow old
Goes through each day,
Scorning the fold,
Enjoying your tears,
Shunning the world
Adorned in pain,
Making death fashion,
Still you come near,
Grieving with passion
Signs say beware,
"Leave me alone"
The darkness attracts,
This can't be wrong
Its web it ensnares you,
Draws you in slow,
Passed torch of torture,
Sinks into your soul
Now you and it are one,
This misery you share,
And you travel the gloom warning others beware.
It feeds you more pain,
Then heavenly chemicals,
In black shells you hide,
Living pain animals
Pushed away,
You bleed from the pain,
We thought we were one
This pain beast it hates us,
It wants to be free,
It tears you apart,
"I can't just be me"
It kills you inside,
Ferverently feeding it pain,
Till your life it has taken,
The beast wins again
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26.
Kill me
~
I want you to kill me motherfucker
I want to feel your pain
I want you to end this cheap existence
And let your god take the blame
~
You know you want to do it
Put up your fucking hands
Take some responsibility for your words
And step up like a man
~
Make me feel the pain I give you
Make those dreams come true
Put a fucking knife to me
And let me bleed anew
~
If you don’t take a stand
I’m going to come for you
And make all your worst nightmares
Scream and cry it’s true
~
You feel the bile building
But you’re such a fucking worm
I’m going to leave you bleeding
Then you'll know you’ve missed your turn
~
I'm coming to fucking get you
And that fucking god you love
Then your tears will rain from heaven
And you'll scream rage from above
~
Your Jesus fucking hates you
He hates you just like me
He’s not there to protect you
And in this end you’ll see
~
I am your only god
Your hate and fears I tend
The blood on my hands will be yours
I will be there in the end
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29.
Broken
~
You want to watch me fall
You already know my mind
You sought to tame my heart
But my fear is all that’s mine
~
Insecurities lashing out
My heart torn out, abused
Left me cold and shameful
My body bloodied, bruised
~
I scream a nameless torture
Scarred for life inside and out
I kill my self to sleep each night
Each morning laced with doubt
~
I’d kill myself if my life were mine
I’d kill you if I’d be free
I’d give you all my life was worth
If me is all I’d be
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30.
Severed
~
I need another prescription please
I need a stronger leash
Another drug to kill the pain
If I will not heal, release
~
I bleed; it’s all I have to give
I’m nothing if not dead
Inside I’m cold, I feel no pain
"It’s all inside my head?"
~
It’s all ok, I will be fine
no rain can last forever
but if I am all I’m meant to be
when will this bond be severed
~
I do not fear this any more
no torture is worse than this
if it all would end right here right now
there’s nothing I will miss
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31.
games
~
Leave me alone
I’m not a toy
I am a man
but was a boy
~
you took what’s mine
and left me none
made me a game
”am I such fun?”
~
Why do you torment
Make play with me
I’ll kill you one day
Just to be free
~
You fucking fool
You senseless fuck
This light you play in
Are beams of a truck
~
This gun is loaded
It’s no longer a game
I’ll fuck you up
There’ll be no blame
~
Too late its over
You couldn’t see
As you played on the edge
Of the blade that is me
~
Well it’s finally my turn
To make true my dreams
But this time you wont laugh
Your last breath a scream
~
Try to laugh with a barrel
Between gritted teeth
Or a noose tied with love
And end you will meet
~
Try to laugh with your throat slit
As your life ebbs and wanes
But I guess you were right
It was only a game
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32.
~
my bleeding heart
weeps tears of shame
tore many hearts
thought love was a game
~
if i could start again
begin anew
if i could choose any one
it wouldnt be you
~
you deserved much better
though i gave all that i am
you derseved to be happy
im just not that man
~
regret remorse
it's all thats left
chilled my soul
heart bereft
~
threw away love
my decision made
i've lived to regret
this path i've laid
~
if i could start again
begin anew
if i could choose anyone
it wouldnt be you
~
you deserved much better
though i gave all that i am
you derseved to be happy
im just not that man
~
i pick up the pieces
start over again
perhaps with the next
i'll be more than i am
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