This is the begining of something started long ago, but never quite finished. I know a little bit more about computers and web design now, so it should look better than the old one I had. If you know me thanks for bearing with all of my shit through out this whole transition bull shit! Props to you!

First things first, I am a Female to Male Transsexual. Now I still don't know exactly the differences between transgendered and transexual. However, if you really want to know I could probably find out. If you are not interested in Gender Bending Then leave now! Otherwise welcome to my world! To begin telling you about myself and my transgendered-ness I must first tell you that I have been on hormones now for 10 months, my voice has begun to deepen and my face is getting much fuzzier, also my stomach has begun to grow hair, and my legs are now covered in SOFT long hair. I talked to my doctor a while back and when I started testosterone I began to gain weight, however now after 10 months I am at the lowest weight I have been at since freshman year in high school! I am currently living out my one year in the lifestyle so eventually I will get Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS)(or Phaloplasty for FtM's). I work at Valvoline Instant Oil change right now as a customer service representative, and its fun. I know a lot more about cars now thats for sure! Currently I am not going to school or anything, I am just doing my therapy at The Program in Human Sexuality (PHS) a branch of the University of Minnesota for my Trans therapy. I have been going for about 16 months now, and I stopped going to group after about a year. People keep asking me why I want to change a body that god gave me the way he wanted it and here's the answer, I don't think god was completely sober when he made me! No, just kidding, but I really don't know the answer to that. The only thing I can say however, is that I want my body to finally match my mind! So, enjoy the pages within, and if you want to ask me questions or hook-up with me at Pride this summer, email me!

Journal, I'm trying to add entries often, but its taking me some time and I have a lot going on, but keep checking for the new updates! Otherwise check me out on Freeopendiary my diary name is Poetic_Lover and the address to opendiary is this www.Freeopendiary.com make sure you put the free in there though!

Dictionary of Terms if you want to know something I probably have it in here. Check it out.

This is a picture of my Junior prom about 4 years ago. The girl in my arms is Dana Bonde. She was my date. Prom was kind of a trauma scene, but it was also some what fun. I went in a tuxedo obviously, and I had a blast with Carmen, Dana's best friend. It's a long story, and maybe someday I will spend the time to type it all in, but for right now, I'm not gonna. Now, in the history of my life I have been with six women, and out of that six four of them were straight. I never considered myself a girl, but for a few years I was known to everyone as a butch-Dyke. I am not now nor have I ever been a Butch-Dyke.

This is a link to a FtM webring called FtM International, they have good information on Surgery letters to FtM's from Doctors and so on. Enjoy

This is a picture of Andrea Palmer. I met her after camp in summer of 2001. We worked at Target together, and if it weren't for her homophobic mother we might have made it as a couple, but her mother foiled those plans, and it makes me very sad. She was only the third person I ever said "I Love You" to and meant it more than just, I love ya. She burned me pretty bad. One day I called her and we had hung out the week before. She told me never to call her agian and I haven't. It's been almost a year and I am still contemplating getting a hold of her agian, but I'm not sure I should. What do you think?

This is Amanda, a friend I met in school at Mankato State University in Spring Semester 2001. She and I were instantly friends even though she was really shy. I was outgoing enough for the both of us. As things progressed I started getting a crush on her (even though she was my "little school lesbian" as I called her). She didn't return the feelings and that was ok because we are still friends to this day even though we don't talk much. She knew about me being trans and she supports me in getting hormones and everything so ROCKIN' IT TIGHT! Anyway thats my girl!

Camp Pictures 2001

Camp Pictures 2002

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