It was so hard to find out after just getting out of a rough relationship and jumping into a new one, that I was pregnant with my third child. I wasn't even 21 yet! It was very hard to accept it.
I have known my son's daddy for a very long time but then we started dated and I ended up pregnant about 6 months later. My kids were so happy to know they were going to have a new baby.
I went through the first few months of horrible morning sickness as most of us do. It was a very normal pregnancy. I found out when I was 5 months pregnant that I was gonna have another little boy. I was so happy about that. Boys are so sweet! My daughter is too, but she is so independent. :( My son is a momma's baby. :)
Well, I had to be induced with Reagan & Kyler so I figured I would have to be induced with Cody too. I started going into labor 3 days early on November 23, 2001. I went to the hospital because I was having bouts of diarrhea and boy was I scared. I had heard before that that is a sign of labor so I called my doctor and since he was my third child they told me to come in. I got there and I was dilated to 3 centimeters. So there was no turning back then. :)
I was ready but scared because I already knew what I was to expect. I had a beautiful baby boy with big blue eyes and peach fuzz for hair. He weighed 7lbs 5oz and 19 inches long. Very healthy! We were all so happy. He was Chris' (my boyfriend) first biological child so he was very happy! I was too because I knew that this was my last baby. Enough of being a baby maker! :)
Well, a month later I went and had my tubes tied. I THOUGHT this was a great idea because we already have 3 kids. We don't need anymore. So I had it done. We were very happy and I remember thinking how perfect my life and family were. I loved my life.
I was a stay at home mom with my kids. We lived in our own apartment for the first 2 months of Cody's life and then we moved to Fort Worth with Chris' parents. They were very happy to have their grandkids there. Well, we lived with them for the next 3 months and everything was great. I have always been very overprotective and my kids slept with me because I felt when they were babies I could get to them faster if something happened. Well, on the evening of May 6th 2002 we were sitting outside with the kids, letting them play in the yard and Cody was sitting on the porch with all of the grown ups and he found a cricket. It was so cute to see him searching for that little cricket. That is a big memory in my life with him. We all went to bed as any other night. Cody was in bed with Chris & I. Reagan & Kyler were in their beds. In the middle of the night I woke up and fed Cody at about 5:30 am and we both went back to sleep, little did I know that was the last time I would ever see my son alive.
I woke up at 6:40 am to get Reagan up for pre-school and Chris up for work. We were running a little behind schedule but as I do every morning, I rolled over to hug Cody and I could see from just looking at him that something was wrong. He was a grayish color and I could see he wasn't breathing and he had some slobber on his face. I just grabbed him and told Chris to take him to his mom and he ran out of the room with Cody. I just sat at the end of my bed practically pulling my hair out just rocking back and forth. Kyler had woke up during all the commotion and kept asking me what was wrong and I couldn't say anything.
They called 911 and Chris' dad and a good friend of ours' Brandon did CPR on Cody. They did everything possible for Cody but nothing worked. I went into total shock. It was horrible. I couldn't talk or walk. I managed to somehow get outside as I seen the ambulances and police men drive up and I was just out of it. I fell in the middle of the yard and set there. Chris was in his truck and he didn't get out of it until the medical examiner got there and said he needed to speak to him. They pronounced him dead and left.
They left Cody's body with us for 4 hours. I was in such shock I couldn't even go near him. I was so out of it! By this time, Reagan had woke up and Chris' brother and sister in law took them to their house to eat breakfast so they wouldn't get upset. Well, I had to call my mom and Chris' mom started calling their family. My mom made funeral arrangements before we even got back home to Houston and when we got there it was already planned and paid for. The coroners finally came and got our son at 11:00 am. The medical examiner told us he was almost positive that it was SIDS. We were relieved that he didn't suffer and he was beautiful with no discoloration other than being a little gray. When they came and took Cody I couldn't watch, I just wanted to run and hide in a big hole! I didn't want to deal with the days to come.
Well, we loaded up and everyone went back to Houston. We had his viewing that Thursday and the funeral was Friday. He was beautiful but it took me about 5 tries to make my way up there to see him. I just didn't want to do it. I was scared of my reaction. He was absolutely beautiful. He looked like a porcelain doll. The only thing that was wrong was his fingernails were dirty because he was trying to get that cricket before he went to bed that night. :)
I didn't let the kids come because they were only 2 and 4 at the time and I knew they wouldn't understand so they went to their dad's house. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It is all such a haze to me. I don't remember so much about all of it because my body won't let me. They say it is a natural reaction to feel numb and be in shock and I am very glad I was because I probably would have lost my mind. We waited about 2 months and had a benefit and raised the money to get Cody a beautiful headstone.
I am so glad that Chris and I have big families and so many friends. I have had some hard times and I have had a few breakdowns on the way but I have faith in God and he knows what he is doing. He wouldn't give us something we couldn't handle! Although it seems like you can't, he gives you strength in your weakest times. Thanks for listening to my story. I could go on and on because his death is a never ending battle for me but I just wanted to let you know the story for the most part.
I love my baby Cody and so does his Daddy, Bubba & Sissy! We all love you so much Cody Wade!
Mommy, Daddy, Reagan & Kyler!
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