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Enrique told me that he would be taking leave in November of 1980, and I dutifully applied for leave at the same time as his. By this time even I had become bored with loving a man who obviously did not love me back. Although I had never verbally expressed it, I decided that if Enrique and I did not get married, I would not be pursuing the relationship any longer.

I can only guess that Enrique thought he wouldn’t have me under his spell much longer, so when I saw him for the first time in eight months, the first thing he said to me was, “Marry me, Krystal.”

I was flabbergasted that Enrique would propose marriage after all this time, and replied by asking him, “Are you sure that is what you want to do?”

“Oh yes, that is what I want,” replied Enrique. He was apparently sure that was what he wanted, but I do not know exactly when it was that he had made this decision.

One of the first things Enrique and I did was to go out and select wedding rings. We chose two simple bands to wear. I was quite amused when we purchased the rings because the sales assistant asked us why we were in such a hurry to purchase the rings. He probably thought that it was because I was pregnant, but that was definitely not the case.

After we selected our rings, we went to the court house off base and registered to get married. We had to wait three days before we could go through the ceremony with the Justice of the Peace. Based on Enrique’s earlier performance, I fully expected him to back out at the last minute, but he did not, much to my surprise.

On 7th November 1980, when I was only 19, I married Enrique. By getting married, I had fulfilled one of my life long ambitions. On our wedding day we went to dinner and then to a movie.

A couple of days after Enrique and I wed, we were walking towards the BAQ where Enrique was staying. Enrique made a comment about us spending the rest of our lives together. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, I got a really sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Even at 19 I suppose I knew that I was not really the marrying kind. I could not imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone regardless of how much I loved them. One or two years at the most – anything else would be just too boring.

Shortly after we married, Enrique took me up to the Boston/Lawrence area, which was his home. I don’t think he knew exactly how his family would react because he had married me when they had specifically expressed to him that they did not want him to marry me though they had never even met me. We therefore stayed at the BAQ in Hanscom Air Force Base, not far from Lawrence. The next morning Enrique got up at about 8:00am on the pretext of going to get a paper or something trivial like that. Four hours later he came back without an explanation about what kept him so long. It never occurred to me to ask my new husband about his activities so I will never know exactly what he was doing that that morning when he was unable to account for his time.

Enrique phoned his family and told them that we had married, and much to my surprise, they invited us to come and stay with them. They were quite bewildered that Enrique had married me against their wishes, and I knew fully well that they did not want their son to marry me. Enrique’s parents wanted their son to marry a nice little Puerto Rican girl, something that I definitely was not and could never be. It saddens me to no end that even into adulthood, parents try to manipulate their children and dictate to them what they can and cannot do. I do not understand why parents cannot allow their children to develop as individuals. I am perplexed about the why parents want their children to be carbon copies of themselves.

Enrique’s parents seemed nice enough and they even invited me to stay with them for Christmas, which I thought was a very thoughtful gesture, considering the fact that my own family never bothered to think of me during the holiday seasons. Because I would not be spending Christmas with my own family and had nothing better to do, I accepted their kind invitation.

I slept in Enrique’s room, which was little larger than some walk-in closets. It was a tiny room that had a single bad, a closet, and a Chester drawer.

Enrique would often stay in bed until well past noon, which was something I could not really understand. I have never been inclined to lying in bed all day long. I wanted to get up and do things.

One of Enrique’s first commands to me was that I should go into the kitchen and make him a sandwich. I don’t think he really wanted a sandwich as much as he wanted to order me around. It seemed that being in the military wasn’t enough for Enrique. He needed a wife so he could express the full force of his dominance on other human beings, but he wanted to make sure that those people who he dominated would not or could not defy him.

I didn’t want to make Enrique a sandwich because I did not know his family at all, yet I was expected to go into a kitchen that belonged to someone else and make my husband a sandwich. If Enrique had been humane, he would have gone into the kitchen with me to show me where everything was, but that was not his style. Enrique wanted to show his family that I was a good little wife who would do as she was told.

We argued about this under the covers all morning, and finally, just to keep the peace and keep Enrique happy; I agreed to make him a sandwich. I went into the kitchen and met Enrique’s mother. I explained to her that Enrique wanted a sandwich and she was kind enough to make one for her very obstinate son.

One afternoon when Enrique and I were at his parent’s house, we sat on the couch, watching television. Out of the blue, Enrique asked me if I would stay with him for two years because he would need that amount of time to get his head sorted out. Enrique, it seemed, was using me as some sort of therapist. He seemed to think that I could help him to overcome the demons that raged within his mind and soul.

I had no idea whatever on Earth could be so bad that Enrique would need to sort his head out. I loved him and wanted to be with him, and had no intention of leaving. I did not even think to ask Enrique what was so wrong with him that he would have to ask me to stay with him for two years. In retrospect, I wish I had.

It seems that I did not know how to behave as a married woman and as a result I became somewhat aggressive with Enrique whenever he upset me. It could be that my anger was aggression that had been repressed anger because I was not happy with my husband’s past and present behaviour. My anger manifested itself towards the odd push or tug while we were walking through the mall, and I was not even aware of it. When Enrique brought the pushing to my attention, I stopped it because I really had not been consciously aware that I had been doing it.

When Enrique and I were back at Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland, he went back to his dictatorial tactics. He decided that he wanted me to do the laundry, and for one reason or another I did not want to do it on that particular day. Enrique became very irate that I should have a mind of my own and might want to do something else, and declared, “You are my wife and you have to do what I tell you to do!”

I was absolutely amazed that Enrique should speak to me in such a way. I thought that we got married because we loved and respected each other. I never realised that I was some kind of mindless trophy who had to do whatever my husband told me to do.

Enrique and I had a very volatile relationship from the start of our marriage. We would get in fights over the most inconsequential things. I don’t even remember what most of our disputes were about, which should serve as an example of how trivial most of our arguments were.

I am sad to say that Enrique and I got into a massive row on the day that he was supposed to leave to go back to Turkey. Instead of having a passionate good bye kiss, he stormed out of my room in a rage.

Because I had been invited to spend Christmas with Enrique’s family, I went about the task of buying Christmas presents for everybody. I bought presents for every member of Enrique’s family and I do not know if he sent anyone in his family so much as a card. I personally did not receive a card or a present from my new husband. I do not recall Enrique ever thanking me for taking the time to purchase presents for his family. I do not recall Enrique ever taking the time to thank me for anything, now that you think of it.

My birthday was a month after Christmas and I did not receive a card or a present from Enrique on that day either. Since my birthday fell on a Saturday, I anticipated receiving my weekly phone call from Enrique at least. I sat in the day room of the barracks all afternoon and no phone call came.

Finally, when I went to work that evening, I rang Enrique on the Autovon network. He did not give an explanation as to why he did not ring me and I did not ask.

Enrique had apparently bragged to his colleagues on site that he had not used his weekly morale call to phone me on my birthday, and these individuals just could not believe it. Enrique had obviously related the news to his colleagues as an act of bravado, but his declaration did not have the desired effect. Instead of lauding him for having done such a cruel thing to his new wife, they chastised him.

Enrique’s colleagues therefore gave him their weekly morale call and insisted that he phone me the following Saturday. Therefore, the following Saturday I received three calls from Enrique because his friends had given him their calls. Those were such kind, selfless gestures of generosity that come so few and far between in a world were we are all taught to think of no one but ourselves. It is such a shame, also, that other people had to tell my husband the right and proper way to treat his wife.

I had been given an assignment to Lajes Field, Azores, which was not quite a remote, but as close as one could get without being one. When Enrique and I got married, he applied for a joint-spouse assignment. Happily, Enrique was given an assignment to Lajes Field as well, which meant that we could be together.

When Enrique completed his one year remote tour in Turkey, he flew back to the states to spend some time with his family before departing to yet another assignment.

Enrique was a day late in coming to collect me. Instead of coming directly to Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland, he decided to go to see his family in Massachusetts first. I was somewhat upset about this because he did not phone me to tell me what his plans were, which meant that for a whole day I did not know where he was.

Enrique came and collected me, and took me to stay with his family for two weeks until we were due to fly out to Lajes Field. While we were in Massachusetts, Enrique took me to Boston. That was the first time I had ever been in a major city, and it was a totally new experience. I had never been on a subway, I had never seen a policeman riding on a horse, and I had never seen so many people in my life!

It was also while we were in Boston that I happened to mention to Enrique that I had continued to take the birth control pill even when he was in Turkey. Enrique became very irate and told me that if he had known that I was on the pill when he was in Turkey, he never would have married me. I felt that Enrique’s comments were totally unreasonable. He seemed to think that just because I was taking the pill that I was having sex with an assortment of men, and that certainly was not true. I did not have sex with anyone the entire time I was parted from him, and I went on very few dates. To assume that I was promiscuous just because I was on the birth control pill was complete and utter nonsense.

It was during one of our massive arguments that I demanded Enrique stop the car and let me out, which he did. Once out of the car, I started walking down the highway as Enrique sped off in a rage.

While walking, I took the exit ramp and found a shopping centre, which I entered. A few minutes later Enrique drove into the parking lot to find me. After several minutes I reappeared and got into the car. I was hoping that we would be able to kiss and make up after we allowed our tempers to get the better of us, but that was not to be. Enrique stayed angry with me for days. He had a dark side of his personality that I was just beginning to get a glimpse of.