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Welcome to the site for Women about Men
"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
-- Albert Camus
What is a STAR?
STAR is a simple acronym for the characteristics of a man with "STAR Power". For the sake of this forum, we will concentrate on the ability of any and every man to be a STAR.
S - Supportive
T - Trusting
A - Appreciative
R - Respectful
In most relationships, men are perceived as the "Towers of Power". They are the decision- makers, the bread- winners. They lead the household. Since the beginning of time, this has been the accepted social norm. Even the dictionary describes the man as having qualities of courage and aggression.
First, we will take a closer look at the definitions of the words power, man, woman and companion. Understanding the meaning of these terms may help us come to the realization of our true roles in "Man, Woman" relationships.
Power: 1. ability or capacity to do something; 2. physical force or strength; 3. control and influence over other people and their actions; 4. the authority to act or do something according to a law or rule.
Man: 1. an adult male human being; 2. the personification of qualities traditionally associated with the male sex, including courage, and aggression, or somebody with such qualities; 3. a husband or man who is a woman's companion or lover.
Woman: 1. an adult female; 2. feminine qualities or feelings; 3. a wife, female, lover, or girlfriend.
Companion: 1. somebody who accompanies you, spends time with you or is a friend.
A quick study of these definitions provides a complete, simple summary: Man and woman are two human beings with unique qualities who, when bonded together, have the ability to do anything. Although women or more fragile, they are in no way inferior. Both individuals possess "Power".
Women in today's world find themselves, covering the role of both man and woman in family life. This is not only the position of single parent homes; it is also the position of dual parent homes. It seems that society have become accustomed to the tradition of women in the kitchen raising the kids while the man works. The world has changed, yet views have not changed. Most women are now working mothers, which changes the roles significantly. It is hard to perform the duties of a housewife when there are only 24 hours in a day, and approximately 14 of those hours are spent preparing the children for their day, traveling to and from school and work, and working. If luck prevails there may be 5 hours left for sleep. The rest of the time must be spent performing all of the motherly duties possible to squeeze into a 6 hour time frame.
No wonder we are going crazy. If you are the mother of two children and you have a husband, you actually have three children. They all want their way. They all throw tantrums. They all have needs. And you are responsible for taking care of all of it. How much is too much? Who meets the needs of the wife and mother?
More than anything women need Support, Trust, Appreciation and Respect. Material goods are often great gifts; however, they don't bring happiness that can withstand time. The foundation must be greater than sand which washes away in a storm.
We have to find the means to encourage our men to be STARs. How do we go about getting this from the men we love before it is too late? Eventually this vicious cycle begins to affect not only the woman, but her relationship with all the other people in her life.
I am interested in knowing how mother's today are surviving in relationships with men who aren’t STARs. Is it hard? How hard is it? Have you told him how you feel? Does he understand when you explain it to him?
Please post your responses in the forum.
