"I only lie, when you ask "how are you?"

I only lie, when you ask "how are you?"
Such a simple question
A friendly gesture
A conversation starter
A simple way of saying you care

I give that half smile
I nod as though trying to convince myself
I try to keep my eyes from giving me away
And softly i answer "i'm ok"

A lie
Two words I use to hide my pain
Two words I use to mask how deep I hurt
Two words that couldn't be further from the truth

Then why answer that way?

Because I don't want you to hurt because I hurt
Because I don't want you to be unhappy because I am
Because I don't want you to feel the pain I feel
Because I love you and I don't want you to worry

I'm not as strong as you think I am
I'm not as confident as I may appear
I'm only half the person I used to be
and it's because you're not here

Please forgive me for being so weak
for missing and needing you so much
for always longing for your warm embrace
for always craving your gentle touch

Forgive me for not being honest
for not saying what's on my heart to say
for lying when you ask me "how are you?"
and answering "i'm ok"