The G-Nutz Homey Page (updated 2/11/03)

Hello. My name is Geoff Morgan, and I am a 22 year-old college junior majoring in English language and literature. Why not accounting? Because I wasn't smart enough to pursue a profession in which I might end up making a substantial amount of money.

Writing has always been a pastime of mine because for me, at least, it comes easily. "Easy" is a good thing, for I despise anything that requires even the smallest amount of effort. If you're going to have a hobby, it might as well be something at which you're half decent. Why waste your time toiling away at something that you'll forever suck at?

Video-gaming is another area in which I happen to excel, but sadly, no one gives a shit. Still, to all you fellow freaks out there who have beaten "Blood Omen 2: Legacy of Kain" at least 17 times and who have no social lives to speak of, power to you. Rock on, brothers and sisters. Rock on.

Like anyone else, unfortunately, there are many things at which I am not so adept. Something that I especially suck at, other than life, itself, is designing Web pages. In fact, this is my first attempt, so please be kind. After all, wouldn't you want me to be gentle with you if it were your first time?

I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with this site. I think that my initial motivation for creating it was born out of the simple desire to be able to say that I had one. But now, things have changed. It's occurred to me that perhaps I will use it to capture some of my finer memories of college life, as well as list the idiotic things my roommates and I tend to say on a daily basis. Too, I thought that perhaps I might post a few of my better poems from time to time, so that everyone can finally comprehend the magnitude of my tortured genius, and fully appreciate what a sensitive and compassionate human being I am. And directly underneath that, I think I'll list the various links to my favorite free porn sites.

Well, I hope that reading this little prelude of what's soon to come has not been a complete waste of your time. If it has, then the only two words that could effectively convey my deepest regrets would have to be "fuck you." To everyone else, have a great day, and don't forget to give this site another glance every once and a while. Who knows? I might actually post something worth seeing or reading.

We are Whittier 25:

Ryan Horgan

Though he's a nice guy, getting him to say much of anything at all can be something of a challenge. When he's not at classes or in the library studying, he's either holed up in his room or working. Since you tend to see him a lot less than anyone else, I like to think of him as the mystery man of the apartment.

To be honest, I can't recall a single instance in which he's ever said anything really dumb, but I'll keep my ears open. He's bound to slip up sooner or later...

Ryan Kenneally

Kenneally will do anything to help out a friend. He's a take-charge kind of guy who always has the best intentions in mind, though he ought to take care that his altruism doesn't one day prove to be his undoing.

He's handy with most powertools and knows a lot about electrical wiring... maybe even too much. Fortunately, he's also a near-limitless source of random, stupid quotes!

*Kenneally: Yo, how much beer do you think I could get for six dollars?

*Rich: Kenneally; you're the worst fuckin' roommate. You stink, and you take up the whole couch.

Nate Dempsey

Nate has never said a bad thing about anyone. He's an amiable sort, and even when he's down, he somehow always finds the strength of spirit to smile about everything. If you're not careful, his optimism can often prove infectious.

In his spare time, Nate enjoys posing in front of digital cameras and getting his ass kicked in Madden 2003. Though the majority of his dumb-ass quotes take the form of long, rambling stories to which no one in the apartment really pays any heed, every once and a while he'll crank out a one-liner worthy of being recorded.

*Mik: Did you clog it again, Nate?

Nate: Look, guys; I can't help it. I take big shits. It's genetic. Why, my dad used to keep this kitchen knife by the toilet back when...

*Nate: Kenneally, you're always doing that!

Kenneally: Doing what?

Nate: You're always eating! ...FOOD! ...THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!

Jay DeMarzo

Sure, he's tall, dark, muscular, and also happens to be the SGA President, but since when have good looks and popularity ever really mattered in life? I mean, come on; it's not like he's rich, or anything.

Getting him to say something stupid is almost invariably a waste of time. Besides, when he's not guzzling protein shakes, he's too busy flexing his chest in the bathroom mirror.

*Jay: ...And she looks at me like, "Where do I put it?" and I'm like, "In your stomach, bitch!"

Mik Allore

Mik is truly one of a kind. A loyal and generous friend, his dynamic personality and irrepressible humor make every moment in his company interesting in one way or another.

Never afraid to speak his mind to anyone about anything, he'll tell you exactly what he's thinking, often with entertaining results.

*Geoff: Dude, what do you want? I'm pissing in here.

Mik: Hey man, wanna play swords?

*Mik=pAditl, Geoff=sLnkAdink:

pAditl: poop

sLnkAdink: shit

pAditl: crap

sLnkAdink: feces.

pAditl: ka_ka

sLnkAdink: defication

pAditl: doo_doo

sLnkAdink: waste

pAditl: diarreha

sLnkAdink: Mexican surprise

pAditl: bud mud

sLnkAdink: mudslide

pAditl: runs

sLnkAdink: slop

pAditl: droppin a deuce

sLnkAdink: doin' my doody

pAditl: .....cosby kids......

sLnkAdink: droppin' the hawk

pAditl: DIGGER

sLnkAdink: goin' to the library

pAditl: potty

sLnkAdink: take a seat on the throne

pAditl: clean my colon

sLnkAdink: Deposit some nitrogen

pAditl: hershey squirts

pAditl: ......bowel movement......

pAditl: ..........stinkin it up.........

sLnkAdink: Dude, this conversation royally stinks.

pAditl: .....hahahahhaaha

pAditl: anal leakage.............YUCK

pAditl: some chips make you leak out your ass

pAditl: an i smell...i jus TORE MAD ASS

sLnkAdink: Turtlehead peekin' out.

pAditl: poo poo

sLnkAdink: Drop the bomb over Baghdad.

pAditl: SHITS...not shit...but SHITS

sLnkAdink: Montezuma's Revenge!!!

sLnkAdink: Fudge factory.

*Mik: Only gay people wipe their ass, so it's clean for their boyfriends.

Geoff Morgan

Sigh... They say you're your own worst critic, and I hope for my sake this is true. As a vertically-challenged bald guy with absolutely no social skill, I'm painfully aware that I come up "short" in terms of perceived image. In person, I'm soft-spoken and reserved; it's really only on the written page that the cowboy in me emerges. Oh, and in case you hadn't noticed, I have the maturity of a 14 year-old. So, ladies... anyone interested?

Since this is my Web page and I get to call all the shots, I reserve the right to omit the stupid things that I always say. But if it's so stupid that it makes even me laugh, then I might just throw it in.

*Nate: (Farts.)

Geoff: What did that asshole say?

*Kenneally: Don't patronize me, dude.

Geoff: I wasn't patronizing you, Kenneally. I was just being sarcastic. Patronizing is when you say something that, taken literally, kind of goes along with what the other person is saying, but you're really showing disagreement by being condescending.

Kenneally: So... kind of like how Captain Shitko did that whole thing with the "idiot" on his forehead.

Geoff: Yeah, man. Whatever you say.

*Nate: Gee-off, are you okay?

Geoff: (Really drunk) Yeah, dude; I'm fuckin' fine.

Nate: What are you doin' on the floor, buddy?

Geoff: S'okay, man. I'm jus' a real down-to-Earth kinda guy.

*Kenneally: What? I'm Jewish.

Geoff: What?! An Irish Jew? Haha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard of!

*Anonymous Girl: So... What do you want to do?

Geoff: Let's get nekkid!

Anonymous Girl: WHAT did you just say?!

Geoff: Uh...

*Geoff: Cool! There's a glowing piece of lint on my toe!

Kenneally: See, it's things like that you probably shouldn't ever say in the presence of women.

USMammas:

These lovely ladies don't really live with us, unfortunately, but some weeks they actually spend more time at good ol' SNHU than they do at USM. For that, I figure they each deserve some space on the GNutz Homey page. Hmmm... Haha! Better hold off on the bios until I can at least remember/spell all their last names. Here's some pictures, anyway!

Jaime

Liz

Lexi

Pictures

Some W-25 Party Pics:

Nate before two or three drinks...

Nate after two or three drinks...

Ashley, Jay C., & Sara

Ahahahahahahaha!!!

Ryan H., Marissa, Kristen, and Jay C.

Jay M. and Jen in the foreground, and the goofy-looking kid with the hat and the beer in his hand is, of course, me.

Huh? Shit. Must've scared myself away. Oh, well.

Sigh... Yes; that really is a stripper's pole.

Here's a nice shot of the pole, again.

... And again. That's Kenneally dancing with Casey, and to the right is Jay D. What the hell is that poking through Kenneally's shirt?

Busted! Haha.

Ah, Marissa, Kristen, and Ashley again. Wait...

What the hell?

..........

..........

..........

..........

... Okaaaay...

Hehe.

Nate praying to the porcelain god while Kristen provides, umm... moral support.

Who the hell are these girls? Oh, no...

..........

Oh, man! How embarrassing...

Riiiiiiight...

Feed My Ego... Please?


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Original Poetry and... I guess you could call it literature

A Timeless Tune
Another Night at the Club
Art Goes On and On
Daydream
Happiness Undone
My Beautiful Friends
Nothing Springs
Openness is Clutch
The River of Oblivion
Trampoline
Washington Hall
Winter Snows
The Misadventures of Michael von Suck (updated 1/05/03)
Doh!
The Chez Diane
Pathetic Fallacy
A Sonnet for Everyday Life
More Philosophical Bullshit
Nothing Beautiful Lasts Forever
Who I am Not
The Winding Trail
It's Luck

Email: i_b_spider@yahoo.com