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A Marriage of Reason

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Part 1

I thought few would notice me, the third Miss Bennet. When all five of us were unmarried, I was always the one to slight, no matter to strangers, acquaintance, or my relations.

The famous Miss Bennets were famous for their beauty, except me, who was plain and bookish. I wanted to be more accomplished than my sisters in order to seek the others¡¦ attentions, but I failed. People only noticed Jane¡¦s beauty, Lizzy¡¦s intelligence, Kitty¡¦s innocent, Lydia¡¦s wild lively, but no one noticed my accomplishment.

To my parents, Jane, Lydia and Kitty were my mother¡¦s favourites. Lizzy was my father¡¦s. But I was left out. I was never beautiful or lively enough to be mama¡¦s favourite, nor I had Lizzy¡¦s wit and humour which favoured papa.

Jane and Lizzy were close. Kitty and Lydia were inseparable. But who for me? I had no one to talk to, and no friends.

That year changed our life forever. When Netherfield Park was let at last, mama decided to secure a husband for us. I knew Jane would marry for warm affectionate love, and Lizzy would marry for a passionate one. I thought my younger sisters would marry soldiers. As for me, I thought I would make a clergyman a good wife, or remained an old maid.

Mr. Bingley thereby entered our life, bringing his friend Mr. Darcy. Jane and Mr. Bingley soon attracted to each other. Mama believed that they would be married soon.

His sisters were superior, and his friend slighted my sister Lizzy. It seemed that he lost Lizzy¡¦s good opinions forever, for her regarded him as arrogant and proud.

Our cousin, Mr. Collins made a visit to Longbourn, in order to marry one of us, maybe it was his reason. He was a man with moral, and I liked him very much. He was amiable, and fond of reading sermons as I am. For one time, I believed he was my clergyman.

Though he chose my sister Lizzy, who clearly paid him no attentions, I still seek his attention, delighted in talking to him about sermons, and he would tell me something about his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

The regiments were in Meryton for the winter. My younger sisters were mad in flirting with the officer. To my surprise, Lizzy took delights in one of them too, Mr. Wickham was his name. He was gallant and amiable. Little did we know that he would nearly ruin us, and how he changed our life.

Mr. Bingley gave a ball at Netherfield, and continued to show great attentions to Jane. Mr. Collins looked all agreeable that evening. He danced once with me, though I knew he was only out of civility. He thought only Lizzy. He had chosen Lizzy over me.

I was ashamed of myself for my behaviours at the ball later, and my parents¡¦ and younger sisters¡¦. I just wanted to show my accomplishment to Mr. Collins, and little did I notice that Lizzy had danced with Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Collins made an offer to Lizzy and was rejected. I was hopeful for one time that he would choose over me. But I was wrong, he chose Charlotte Lucas, our neighbour Charlotte Lucas!

I was disappointed, so did Lizzy. But we were disappointed at different things. I was disappointed at Mr. Collins not chose me. She was disappointed at Charlotte¡¦s choice.

I knew the dreadful effects of my silliness at the ball and how it hurt Jane later. The Bingleys and Mr. Darcy had gone for London, and it seemed that they would never returned.

Jane was heartbroken. Mama was greatly distressed. Mr. Darcy¡¦s ¡§shameful¡¨ behaviour towards his childhood friend Wickham was now widely circulated at Meryton. I had half-believed the story at that time.

But then, Christmas passed. Jane went to London, with all the hope of finding Mr. Bingley there. Wickham turned his attentions to the rich Mary King. Lizzy was invited to stay with Charlotte in Kent.

How I longed to be at Charlotte¡¦s place, as Mr. Collins¡¦s wife.

Then, Easter passed, Jane and Lizzy returned. Jane saw nothing of Mr. Bingley, and Lizzy changed so much. She was not herself since she returned. What¡¦s the matter with her?

Mary King was removed from Wickham. The regiments were moving to Brighton, my two younger sisters were disappointed.

At last, Lydia was invited to Brighton as Mrs. Foster¡¦s particular friend, and Kitty was disappointed. Lizzy was strangely cold, or even happy, at Wickham¡¦s departure.

Lizzy was to go to Derbyshire with our Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. I believed, when she and Lydia came back, our life would be just as peaceful as it once was.

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