The poetries are listed chronologically. The earliest are at bottom, the newest are at top.
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Oh yeah, let me just note that I just updated for the first time in about 10 months... and because of the mass of stuff for me to put up... i didn't put all of it up, got more selective ya dig? so um don't think i'm being less prolific, i'm not writing less, i'm just typing less. oh yeah, and if you know anyone who resembles a cabbage who needs a roommate, let me know.
POETRY
I Am The Walrus, 1/13/03
Television Egg, 1/7/04
Tears of a Clown, 1/6/04
December, 2003
Mermaid of Fire, 12/29/03
Donald Rumsfield: Bed to Bed, 12/28/03
Mother Nature’s Nursery Rhyme, 12/8/03
November, 2003
I, Like Bob Kaufman, Know What I Am Not, 11/29/03
A Righteous Execution, 11/24/03
Sanity, 11/16/03
Perjured Testicles, 11/13/03
Tree-Huggers Leave Karma, 11/8/03
I Am an Explosion Trapped In a Human’s Body, 11/7/03
A History of Revolution, 11/5/03
October, 2003
Nice Girl, 10/27/03
National Guardsman, 10/20/03
A Pantoum For All the Renegades, 10/19/03
This Is What Happened To Their Eyes, 10/5/03
Stormgasm, 10/4/03
September, 2003
Bootwalker, 9/27/03
Sharing Is Caring, 9/25/03
Children’s Behinds, 9/22/03
August, 2003
Party Pooper, 8/12/03
Reality, 8/9/03
Memories, 8/7/03
July, 2003
The Plagiarist, 7/18/03
The Apple Stump, 7/12/03
I and the Alligator, 7/3/03
Chicken Little, 7/3/03
A Trip To the Dentist, 7/1/03
June, 2003
Computer-Generated Orgasm, 6/30/03
Golgotha, 6/7/03
fragment, 6/6/03
Tunnel, 6/5/03
Burn Eternal, 6/5/03
May, 2003
Great Glorious Buttocks, 5/26/03
Sexual: Revulsion or Revolution, 5/25/03
Bombs Are Beacons of Love, 5/21/03
Coke Is, 5/20/03
Abyss, 5/11/03
Going Swimming, 5/11/03
Suicide, 5/6/03
some rambling rhymes, 5/5/03
Where Is My Mind, 5/5/03
Baby Boomer, 5/4/03
Inches and Ells, 5/3/03
April, 2003
I Wish I Was a Crucifix, 4/30/03
Nocturnal Manifesto in D Minor, 4/30/03
Jesus and Nicole, 4/27/03
fragment, 4/26/03
The Revolution Will Not Be Instant-Messaged, 4/24/03
Easter420, 4/20/03
Questioning the Crucifix, 4/17/03
Geometric Relations, 4/7/03
March, 2003
A Prayer For America, 3/30/03
All Aboard, 3/29/03
A Mathematical Proof Debunking Anti-French Jingoism, 3/29/03
Horsey, 3/29/03
Sillybush, 3/28/03
Cannibalist Pretensions, 3/27/03
Breezis Pleezis Jeezis, 3/27/03
Good Bush Bad Bush, 3/27/03
Question and Answer session Between a Hypothetical Hawk and an Autobiographical Dove, 3/26/03
Suburban Jesus, 3/25/03-3/26/03
Terrorism and the Duality of Manhood, 3/25/03-3/27/03
Toilet Paper, 3/20/03
Popular Opinion, 3/20/03
Kind of, 3/19/03
Ruins, 3/19/03
Sand (short story), 3/18/03
The Noble Bush, 3/13/03
Republican Law, 3/5/03
Ideological Schizophrenia (short story), 3/4/03
Coming Into My Brain, 3/3/03
Hymn of the Prep-Student, 3/2/03
Forgotten, 3/2/03
February, 2003
Of Frogs and Children, 2/28/03
Body Social (haiku), 2/25/03
I was riding the subway to somewhere (short story), 2/23/03
Venus SkinTrap, 2/22/03
Rhyme, 2/22/03
New Proletariat, 2/17/03
Self Interest, 2/17/03
Orb, 2/17/03
Blizzard, 2/17/03
Struggle, 2/14/03
Ride On Cowboy, 2/13/03-2/22/03
Nobody Wants a War, 2/13/03
Freckledjunkiewarrior, 2/10/03
Living Is Illegal, 2/8/03
Etherealism or Untitled, 2/6/03
Be Hot Haiku, 2/5/03
Duck, 2/3/03
Tree Winter Night, 2/2/03
January, 2003
Caracas, 1/29/03
Revelation, 1/29/03
02-03, 1/26/03
Conversations With Gilda, 1/26/03
Be Serious, 1/25/03
Social Butterfly Haiku, 1/25/03
Swivel Catatonia, 1/25/03
Expanse, 1/24/03
Richard (haiku), 1/23/03
America (7 haikus), 1/23/03
Casey Jones Ate My Baby, 1/17/03
Dream Schizophrenia, 1/14/03
Karma Bums, 1/10/03
After 9 Days of Vegetarianism, 1/9/03
Economist Haiku, 1/9/03
Glory, 1/9/03
December, 2002
Alarm Clock, 12/29/02
Attempt to Photosynthesize, 12/29/02
Airport, 12/29/02
Real, 12/29/02
Baby Boomer, 12/29/02
Interstellar Emancipation, 12/21/02
Nose-Odes For Karimah, 12/18/02
November, 2002
New Dism, 11/28/02
When I Look in an Altar Boy’s Eyes, 11/28/02
Hairy Nipple Haiku, 11/28/02
Snow Society, 11/28/02
Thanksgiving: Turkey and Crackers, 11/28/02
It’s Fetus Time!, 11/28/02
To Freeze Yourself, 11/18/02
Proponents/Components of Anarchy, 11/17/02
To Happen, 11/17/02
The Nihilist, 11/17/02
Caffeine: A Retrospective, 11/16/02
Rubs, 11/14/02
You Can’t Kill Love, Mother! Because Love is KONSHISSNISS!, 11/13/02
Lady MacBeth, 11/6/02
October, 2002
Stardom, 10/27/02
Jesus’ Demand, 10/27/02
Seeds of Night, 10/26/02
Orange Juice Haiku, 10/14/02
Dan’s Magical Fairy, 10/14/02
Twins the Color of Christmas, 10/13/02-10/14/02
Puddles of Sorbet, 10/12/02
Blitzkrieg, 10/12/02
In Of It, 10/8/02
Ostrich Eggs, 10/8/02
Nice Girl, 10/2/02
September, 2002
Epic Voodoo, 9/30/02
The Lint-Picker, 9/24/02
Foolish Mortal, 9/14/02
Sunny’s Delicatessen, 9/14/02
Accept Accent, 9/14/02
Times Square, Friday, September 13, 9/13/02
The Man With the Ear, 9/13/02
Misogynistic Ice, 9/12/02
Dehydration Haiku, 9/11/02
Getting To Poets For New York, 9/11/02
Ringing In the Wind, 9/11/02
Gothic Flower, 9/11/02
Ass-Roast, 9/10/02
Counter-Culture Gang Wars at Hollywood Video, 9/8/02
Early Bird, 8/4/02-9/5/02
Corkscrew, 9/4/02
Dummy, 9/4/02
Teen People Is a Sack of Shit, 9/4/02
Arizona Green Tea, 9/3/02
Swimming Sky, 9/2/02
Jesus’ New Bible, 9/2/02
September Struck, 9/1/02
Headset, 8/29/02-9/1/02
August, 2002
The Walrus Convention Manifesto, 8/28/02
The Shitholes of America, 8/28/02
Metro Card, 8/28/02
Sleepy Scowlin’ At Me, 8/26/02
Kinky Nurse in a Storm, 8/24/02
Meat Locker, 8/24/02
Afro Man and the Astor Beat-Maker, 8/23/02
Waiting For the Slow Train to Take Me Downtown, 8/23/02
Tight Rope, 8/22/02
Broccoli, 8/22/02
Open Doors to the Muse, 8/22/02
Hobos at the Gorge, 8/5/02
Walked Into New Hampshire and the Karma Was Bangin’, 8/5/02
Sand Time, 8/4/02
Osteoporosis, 8/4/02
July, 2002
Dominace, 7/28/02
Wanton Civilian, 7/26/02
Fire, 7/26/02
Ballad of the Goose, 7/26/02
Snackshlemanditotum, 7/26/02
Cacophonic Coffins, 7/22/02
Antarctic Ice, 7/22/02
Dirty Birdie, 7/21/02
Psychosomatic Orgasm, 7/19/02
Impressive, 7/14/02
The Puppet Show, 7/13/02
Wist, 7/13/02
Freud Thinks I’m Gon’ Suffocate, 7/13/02
You Animal, 7/12/02
Squash, 7/12/02
Fizzy Brain, 7/12/02
Ja Ja Fruits, 7/10/02
Thoughts of a One-Day Counselor at Flax Pond, 7/9/02
Hog’s Bog, 7/8/02
Impulse, 7/8/02
I Can Play the Pencil Like a Mothafuckin’ Riot, 7/8/02
Fluffily Flappin’ Societal Equilibrium, 7/8/02
Jesus Was a Bee-Boppin’ Down the Street, 7/8/02
Caught Blue-Handed, 7/6/02
Chewbacca Entemann’s, 7/6/02
Peter Dreyer’s Words After Eating Eight Pizzas and Drinking 11 Cups of Soda on Dan Koegel’s Birthday, 7/5/02
Hazy Kazoo, 7/5/02
Jesus Saves God Shaves, 7/5/02
Funeral Eve, 7/5/02
Aliens Love Ooblek, 7/5/02
Water Nipples, 7/5/02
Tweet Tweet Buzz, 7/3/02
The Platypid, 7/3/02
Seattle Suits, 7/3/02
Rollings, 7/1/02
The Ballad of Alison Pinciaro, 7/1/02
June, 2002
Nocturnal Manifesto, 6/28/02
Cranberry Moose, 6/27/02
Florida Girls, 6/26/02
Equation of Assholes, 6/26/02
Reflections on Urination, 6/26/02
Secret Fantasies of Martha Stewart, 6/26/02
How to Tell If There is a Worm in Your Intestine, 6/26/02
Explaining to an Incredulous Pampered Princess Why She Should Enage in Sexual Intercourse With Me, 6/19/02
Roll Into Atlanta, 6/19/02
Virgin Maria, 6/15/02
The Girl of Faces Many Times Over, 6/7/02-6/8/02
Pushcarter’s Birthday, 6/5/02
Insect Communes, 6/3/02-6/5/02
May, 2002
After Having Moved a Spread of Two Blocks, 5/29/02
Urine Leaks Semen Bursts, 5/27/02
Motorcycle, 5/22/02
Drum Tirade, 5/22/02
EXTRA MINYU, 5/21/02
Vampires, 5/20/02
Ink Splatters, 5/20/02
Culinary Art, 5/19/02
Poetry Like Burning, 5/19/02
Pigmintless Figments, 5/18/02
Unswallowing Swallows, 5/10/02
Hardcore Multi-Linguist of Boston, 5/10/02
Kindergarten Republican, 5/10/02
Didn’t Communicate It, 5/9/02
CCM, 5/8/02
Just Any Other Saturday Evening, 5/4/02-5/5/02
Swarms of Humanoids, 5/4/02
Ode To My Biology SAT II Textbook, 5/4/02
Cherry Poppin’ Bananas, 5/4/02
Beauty In Passing, 5/3/02
April, 2002
Modern Man Haikus, 4/28/02
Anal Sex, 4/28/02
Epic Struggle of the Milk Man, 4/26/02
Aphrodite, 4/25/02
Every Day Begins With Regurgitation, 4/22/02
Watch For Glass As You Walk Down the Stairs, 4/22/02
Let’s Go Outside, 4/20/02
I Hate Haikus, 4/19/02
Shrub Junkie, 4/19/02
Computer-Generated Beauty, 4/19/02
Call To Arms For Peaceful Revolution, 4/19/02
Computers Are the Future, 4/19/02
1 Train Confusion, 4/18/02
Heat, 4/18/02
What Would It Be Like…, 4/18/02
I Can Write Haikus, 4/17/02
Manifestation, Transcendence, Debate (3 sexual haikus), 4/17/02
Walk Into an Orgiastic Rite, 4/17/02
British Pamphleteer, 4/17/02
Plea For Sleep, 4/16/02
Subway Switcheroo, 4/15/02
National *LoVe* Day, 4/14/02
Spring Sprang Up, 4/14/02
Choose Your Laws, 4/13/02
Burger King Serves Crackers, 4/13/02
Mr. and Mrs. Weiner, 4/13/02
The Anna Murders, 4/13/02
Oh Brother, 4/12/02
The Rifleman, 4/12/02
Prostate Ensemble, 4/12/02
St. Bozo, 4/11/02
Gangsta Shit, 4/11/02
70’s Freak, 4/11/02
Don’t Make Light of Light, 4/11/02
O Frisbee, 4/11/02
The Nobel Peace Prize is a Burning Bush, 4/10/02
Alien Ponderings, 4/6/02
Spice McHaggis, 4/6/02
Masses of Chalk, 4/6/02
Document Your Wishes, 4/6/02
Piper at the Gates of New Year’s Eve, 4/6/02
Partridge In a Pear Tree, 4/6/02
Heaven and Hell, 4/6/02
bitch ass motherfucker, you dickie… hahaha, 4/4/02
April or May, 4/4/02
Dull Boy Jack, 4/4/02
Every Time I Run, 4/3/02
Laura Bush Is a Robot, 4/3/02
Veiled Petunias, 4/3/02
How Or Now Every Y?, 4/3/02
Incidents, 4/3/02
We Are Sexual Beings, 4/3/02
Something About, 4/1/02
March, 2002
‘Scuse Me While I Kiss the Sky, 3/29/02
Passing By Passersby, 3/29/02
DVD, 3/29/02
Proletariat Tracks, 3/29/02
My Pants Bulge With Confidence, 3/28/02
Quaint BellCracks, 3/26/02
Personality Crisis (You Got it While it Was Hot), 3/25/02
Coals of Desire, 3/24/02
Telepathy, 3/24/02
Angels Knit Disappearing Tapestries., 3/23/02
Me, Don, Julio Down By Leonard Street, 3/23/02
Canine Karma, 3/21/02-3/22/02
Tung Stung, 3/20/02
Boorsvald Blonads, 3/19/02
Up and Down Bleecker, 3/18/02
Central Vehicular System, 3/18/02
God Bless America-- Where Are They Now, 3/18/02
Pink Traffic Lockbox, 3/18/02
St. George’s Ukrainian Catholic School, 3/18/02
Quest For Mint Snapple, 3/17/02
Bloody Savior Feet, 3/17/02
St. Patrick’s Sister, 3/17/02
Spaghetti Epilepsy, 3/15/02
Furry Slippers, 3/15/02
Wall Street Pimp Daddy, 3/14/02
Asshole! Too Tight For Any Beauty to Become of You, 3/14/02
So That’s Where the Pigeons Went!, 3/14/02
Art of Death, 3/12/02
Appreciate Sleep, 3/12/02
Bananas Son Muy Eww, 3/12/02
ROUND, 3/12/02
Fair, Fair Freckles, 3/12/02
Gallant Toenails, 3/11/02
Hollywood Hemorrhoids, 3/11/02
Don’t Eat Too Much Candy or You’ll Get an Anal Cavity!, 3/11/02
Swedish Prep School, 3/11/02
Me, the Sex Goddess, 3/10/02
Goodnight, Pumpkins; G’day, Wombats, 3/10/02
Contradiction Walking Through a Fucked-Up Day, 3/9/02
Koshin’s Dreams, 3/8/02
Poets of the Trinity, 3/7/02-3/8/02
Lobsters of the Sun, 3/6/02
Stoned Karma (SKAT), 3/5/02
Life Is Overrated, 3/5/02
I Disclaim Nothing, 3/4/02-3/5/02 (included above)
My Fingernails, 3/4/02
Clorox, 3/4/02
Orgasms With Art, 3/4/02
H20 Flows like Felix tha Double Helix, 3/4/02
Itchy Anteater, 3/3/02
Mothballs In Bloom, 3/3/02
Happy When I Hop, 3/3/02
Sidewalk Anaphora, 3/2/02
Say Cheese!, 3/1/02
February, 2002
LonelyCrowds, 2/28/02
Vagina, 2/27/02
Fantasies of Dahlia, 2/27/02
Forbidden Fruit, 2/27/02
Ring Around the Rosy, 2/25/02-2/26/02
Raw Numb Rubbed, 2/21/02
Monkeys Wear Funny Straw Hats, 2/21/02
No More Caffeine, 2/21/02
Sinners, 2/18/02
I Am Listening to Dilate Right Now, 2/18/02
Bottle Kiss, 2/18/02
Could the Cow Be a Bomb?, 2/18/02
Caffeine Has a Greater Effect on Your Body in Higher Altitude, 2/17/02
Ice On My Bullet You Die Soon As I Pull It, 2/17/02
A Bench A Top A Mountain, 2/17/02
Black Twizzler, 2/17/02
Dahlia, 2/13/02
Elegant Swan, (exact date unknown)
Retire After a Long Night of Music, Caffeine and Texans, 2/10/02
Lurking Beast, 2/7/02
Unleash, 2/7/02
My Saga: Cling to the Electrons in My Brain (exact date unknown)
Cut, 2/4/02
Parents, 2/4/02
Succumb to Sleep, 2/3/02
January, 2002
Chair of Air, 1/28/02
Marvelous, 1/27/02
Happiness, 1/27/02
Italian Walrus, 1/26/02
Indelible Ostrich, 1/24/02
Imp Off, 1/23/02
Brody Drops a Deuce, 1/23/02
Them Bitin Pussies, 1/21/02
Instuctions to Returning My Kidney That I So Graciusly Bestowed You In Better Times When You Were Not So Ungrateful, 1/21/02
The Purest Snow, 1/19/02
Red White Blue and Spatulas Too, 1/15/02
Army of Wurds, 1/15/02
Carnivorous Conspiraces, 1/15/02
Sexy Panther, 1/13/02
Fig Tree, 1/13/02
Whipped Frenzy In a Cradle, 1/13/02
A Rolling Jar of Rolling Lemons, 1/13/02
Trippy Madness, 1/10/02
Sleep Through 2002, 1/10/02
Stethoscopes and Hammers, 1/10/02
Pepsi Goose, 1/08/02
Psychotica, 1/07/02
I Must Not Shit, 1/07/02
fgzwlnnnmp, 1/05/02
Bloody Spring, 1/05/02
Drinkin Pepsi All Night Long, 1/05/02
H.I.V., 1/04/02
Crossroads, 1/03/02
December, 2001
27, 12/29/01
Jesus's, 12/29/01
Pillowcase Taboo, 12/29/01
Inner Slither Battles, 12/28/01
Sleep, Iguana, 12/27/01-12/28/01
Why, Waiter, 12/26/01
Light Up Dark Down World, 12/26/01
I Will Fascinate, 12/19/01
Walrus Rule, 12/19/01
Walk Through the Park, 12/18/01
S&M Satan, 12/17/01
Nude Lotus, 12/15/01
Reactions, 12/14/01
Jesus Saves Jesus Shits, 12/14/01
Intercom Calls a Whole New Day, 12/12/01
Pens and Fingers, 12/09/01
I Decided, 12/09/01
Our Quest, 12/09/01
Goldfish, 12/09/01
Showers, 12/09/01
Drummings, 12/09/01
Jesus Manson, 12/07/01
Tacitus, 12/07/01
Arms of Today, 12/07/01
Thai in the Sky, 12/07/01
Subway Rolls, 12/07/01
4 Floors, 12/07/01
Jesus Is My Lover, 12/06/01
Patti, 12/06/01
I Have Seen the Purple Platypus, 12/06/01
Jesus Bitchin' Apple Pie, 12/06/01
Unclothe, 12/06/01
Finger 2 Finger, 12/06/01
November, 2001
Me, the Lipid, 11/29/01
Possession, 11/28/01
The Walrus Convention Center, 11/28/01
Finnegars, 11/27/01
Quixotic Cynic, 11/26/01
Id Words, 11/25/01
Thanksgiving, 11/22/01
Footholds, 11/15/01
Communal Musical Harmony, 11/12/01
Acidic Flight, 11/12/01
Sight of Height, 11/11/01
Today's Impression, 11/08/01
Don't Talk to Strangers, 11/08/01
Alcoholic Monkey, 11/05/01
Contents of my Poetry Notebooks, 11/04/01
Them Fucking Potatoes, 11/04/01
Peripheral Head, 11/03/01
Crazies, 11/03/01
October, 2001
Spider Monkey, 10/31/01
Lemon Eyes10/29/01
This Ink, 10/28/01
Socialist Newspapers, 10/28/01
I Said Yeah The Man Said No, 10/28/01
Bread, Yeah, 10/28/01
Something Other Than Nightmares, 10/28/01
Neandethral Soul Man, 10/28/01
Horsepower, 10/28/01
Fun With Food, 10/26/01
Take Flight, 10/24/01
Break Currency, 10/20/01
Jesus's Cup of Tea, 10/19/01
Music See Me Through, 10/19/01
R.I.P. Divine, 10/19/01
Lightning, Caress Me, 10/18/01
Happy Lichens, 10/17/01
Charles Manson Comes to Speak at My School, 10/17/01
Freshman Area, 10/15/01
Swallow the Pain, 10/15/01
Fixed, 10/15/01
Battle of October 11, 10/12/01
Do You Eat the Sun?, 10/12/01
Join Our Clique, 10/03/01
People Wanna Be Sheep, 10/01/01
September, 2001
Sailing In a Dream, 9/27/01
I Wonder, 9/26/01
Spiritual Sleep, 9/24/01
Platypus Amongst the Humans, 9/23/01
Like a Toucan, 9/23/01
My Head is Biting Me, 9/23/01
Dehumanity, 9/21/01
Running Away in Circles, 9/21/01
Jimi Hendrix Will Protect Me, 9/20/01
Hear the Dove Call, 9/19/01
Surrender to the Stars, 9/18/01
The World is a Funny Place, 9/17/01
Buffalo Cabbage, 9/17/01
Flyswatter, 9/17/01
All That I Can Be, 9/17/01
Beat Away My Misery, 9/13/01
Oblivious, 9/11/01
A New World Today, 9/11/01
Many People Died Today, 9/11/01
Trip of Life, 9/06/01
Fascist Comb, 9/05/01
Anarchy/Harmony Society, 9/05/01
Me, Zool, and Our Friend, 9/05/01
August, 2001
August Will Terminate at Midnight, 8/31/01
Horde of the Lost
Drilling in the Sidewalk, 8/31/01
Drunken Irish Messenger
Don't Got No Time, 8/29/01
Entry to my Soul, 8/29/01
The Pedestrian, 8/29/01
Zoser's Call, 8/19/01
Give Away Today, 8/18/01
Those Who Kill Instead of Create, 8/17/01
Live to Create, 8/17/01
Diz, 8/15/01
I Wanna Fuck You Up the Eye, 8/12/01
Purple Sky and Spaghetti, 8/10/01
Mouse to Snake, 8/10/01
Undignified Mirror, 8/09/01
Stranded in the Parking Lot, 8/08/01
Impotence, 8/08/01
Asshole Humanity, 8/08/01
Rainbow of Insanity, 8/08/01
Sit Down, Shut Up, 8/08/01
Fork in the Woods, 8/07/01
On Top of the World, 8/07/01
Overhanging Rock, 8/07/01
Bus Ride, 8/06/01
Solon, 8/05/01
Sweet Sweet, 8/05/01
Richie, You're Fuckin' Insane, 8/05/01
Idealistic, 8/04/01
The Love Revolution, 8/04/01
July, 2001
Cock, 7/30/01
Everybody’s Singing in Harmony, 7/28/01
Dysfunctional as a Human Being, 7/27/01
Dark Alienated Introvert, 7/26/01
High On Love, 7/26/01
Come to the Building, 7/25/01
Monkey Screams!, 7/20/01
If We Were Like Water, 7/20/01
Monkey in My Brain, 7/20/01
Hairball or Puke, 7/18/01
Moquito Bite, 7/18/01
When You Become the Mosquito, 7/16/01
The Beetle’s Confession, 7/16/01
Shit Happens, 7/15/01
Ruined Poem, 7/15/01
Fucking Chameleons, 7/14/01
Goodnight, Foot, 7/14/01
Funny Bug, 7/14/01
Uninspired/That Was a Stupid Poem To Write, 7/14/01
Cabbage, 7/14/01
Counterpoint Gazebo, 7/13/01
Spider Nest, 7/13/01
Assumptions Concerning Introverts, 7/12/01
Ant on the Ground, 7/12/01
Airplane, 7/12/01
The Contents of a Cigarette, 7/12/01
Sun Worshippers, 7/12/01
Breeze, 7/12/01
Electric Toothbrush, 7/11/01
BF’s Cosmetic Puffs, 7/11/01
Human Inadequacy, 7/11/01
Trip to the Mint, 7/11/01
Platypus With a Spatula, 7/10/01
Grammar Is For Mathematicians, 7/08/01
Me and Jeff Loddo Hug Trees, 7/08/01
Independent Branch, 7/08/01
Pow-Wow Incense, 7/08/01
June, 2001
Psychosomatic Mosquitoes, 6/29/01
Honorary Tree, 6/28/01
Money Kills, 6/27/01
Nader Vs. Gore, 6/27/01
Philadelphia’s Finest, 6/27/01
Rat Asses, 6/27/01
Ice-Chomper, 6/27/01
Power, 6/21/02
Tantalized, 6/21/02
Fifteen Minutes to Go Get Pizza, 6/10/02
The Fucking Chair Can Fly, 6/10/02
There’s Gonna Be a Revolution, Baby, 6/10/02
Exposed—The CIA or my Psychosis?, 6/1/02
The CIA’s Truman, 6/1/02
The New Emancipation Proclamation, 6/1/02
The Early Works
These works were written before I devoted myself fully to poetry. These are predominantly short stories, and those that may appear to be poetic were most likely intended as songs/raps. They have no dates, so I will label them by the year of school I was in when I wrote them.
8th grade
All-American Relationship
Death By State
Mother’s Day
Girl Approaches
Attack Me
My Poem of Saved Brain Cells
Your World Or Mine?
Conformed Rebel
Racoon Gone Bad
Kind vs. Polite
I Strive To Be a Platypus
Hunger Strike
Oh Look At the Kitty Kat He Started Acting Weird and the Cat Wouldn't React in Him Immersed in Everything They Do
Alabama
The Secret Lives of Fridge Magnets
The Confessions of a Cow
Poor Old Lady
The Vast Thereness
Purple Monkeys Running Amok
Two Weirdos In My House Eating Sushi
Giuliani’s Suicide Note
Larry and His Schlong
Carpe Diem (sequel to What Goes Around Comes Around)
Rainbow Sex
Congo BoBongo
When Chopsticks Get Trippy
When Forks Get Angry
When Eggbeaters Go Crazy
7th grade
What Goes Around Comes Around
Lovesick Deceiver
They Will Laugh
When Spatulas Go Bad
Caninephobia
6th grade
Toma Lucia
Bunghole Cola
Oinkysnorkle
The Chihuhua Who Saved Christmas
Terrorist Taxi Drivers of New York City
Momo’s Show
5th grade
Jamaican Fugitives
Jamal Bunghole
The Mamma Conflict
Zeke and Elmont
4th grade
The Kooks