You Animal The monkey was carried upon a regal arm chair into the convention,
licking a grape lollipop
(silly humans think we like bananas),
wearing a diaper
wrapped
fashionably round her capuchin ass
that is not red like the baboon
but brown
and hairy
and cheesy
like the moon.

The dolphins,
amidst their salt-drunken orgies
off the coast of the Florida panhandle
flew above to the heavens
that they could almost see the sand,
and flapped their fins
and shamelessly enormous erections
at the tourist speedboat of
a Baptist congregation from rural Alabama.

Santa Claus is reported to have no comment on the allegations that he spanks smurfs,
but he was caught blue-handed.