I tried to find it in a song
it took me along
I followed a Pixie
but he took me to Dixie
I tried to find it in my head
but it was swimming in the sea instead

I chased it to Europe
but it melted into syrup

never was I so sticky
never was I so picky
all I ever wanted
was a haunted soul to lick me

my mind got blown
by a dirty old crone
the charge was 50 cents
the discharge was my common sense
her bush got elected
my penis was ejected

I’m often amazed
when I walk through the maze
and get lost in crazed
confusion

what kind of delusion
did I eat for supper?
what kind of women
would ware her tupper?
what kind of woman
would call herself Tipper?
why swim in the Caribbean
when you can swim with Flipper?

My mind is fucking
an interstellar carcrash
my cranium’s clucking
cuz it doesn’t wanna turn to ash
my donkey is bucking
cuz I narc’d on its stash

Hide all your pinache
in a ten-gallon hat
when you’re dehydrated
cuz you ain’t masturbated
in 38 days,
drink your soul
and it will pay

electrode on my balls
horny toad on my walls
I ain’t takin’ no calls
until the ground beneath me falls