Vampires Why must you sodomize me with poetry!
Why must you infiltrate my nostrils with the pungent odor of your breasts!
Why must you dip my penis into ink-wells
and shove my head into microwaves!
Why must you sip succulent blood from the bountiful fountainhead you have carved in my neck!
Why must you chip off each of my digits and limbs and mail them to your relatives in Transylvania?
Why msut you remove each and every of my organs as if they were vestigial and play scales on them for the old ladies at church?
Why must you bust my bones with the crust of your affluent apple pie?

This is an outrage!
I shall see to it that you meet your comeuppance
when the garlic salesman comes to town!