Teen People Is a Sack of Shit Teen People magazine is a sack of shit, smells like oily mustard-balm on my pet coyote's asshole, my ideology wants to lick your pages clean like you lick our brains clean of Fizz, you jizz in my ear and tell me it's hip you fondle & enslave my walruses, you gyp our generation of Godhead, just cuz the Hare Krishnas used to rattail you with locker-room towels back in junior high.