Secret Fanasies of Martha Stewart Emeril Lagasse
is the sexiest man alive.
When I watch him strut his stuff
and show off his mesmerizing culinary genius,
he kicks my cock up a notch,
and Bam!
his very image grabs hold of my prostate
and inspires sperm to flow in a flurry
and libidinously ooze unto my pot roast.
Oh sweet Jesus, as sure as my name is
Martha Stewart,
I wonder if he would have sex with me
if he knew I had a penis.
Perhaps he is one to be turned on
by taboo,
that randy Italian,
and would jump at the chance to fuck
a hermaphrodite white-collar criminal.