Poor Old Lady My name is Irooq. I lost my children.
Their names were Irooqooq and Irooqaaq.
I went to Iraq one day.
It was more than one day ago... but it was one day in which I made the decision to go to Iraq.
And I brought my children, because once I was on an airplane and they ran out of food and I figured that in case I got hungry I could always eat my children.
I wonder... why did I go to Iraq? Is it because I wanted to go to Iraq for to drink their oil? Is it because I wanted to eat the sands of their deserts? Or maybe it was because I wanted to hijack a nuclear bomb and destroy the world... but that's another story.
Maybe the reason was my name sounds like Iraq. The reasons are endless, man! I can't possibly list them all! There are so many reasons to go to Iraq-maybe you should too. That way when I ignite the nuclear bomb that I hijacked I will kill all the more many people.
But I don't have a nuclear bomb. No, not me. I lost my children! Don't you feel sorry for me! A poor old lady like me would never have a nuclear bomb!
So I went to Iraq. And I got out of the plane. And the flight attendant wished me a good day. And I told her to suck my dick.
Why did I tell her to suck my dick? I do not even have a dick, for I am a poor old lady! And I lost my children!
And I am not a rude lady... people who lose their children aren't rude... maybe I have tourrette's syndrome. And if you have a problem with people with Turret's syndrome then you can suck my dick!
So then I went out into the street. And I saw an Iraqi man humping a camel. And I wanted to join in... so I told my children to get the fuck out of here and I asked the man if I could join in.
So he said that, yes, I could, if I paid him fifty dinar. So I did and I had myself a jolly old time... and then I realized that I had lost my children!
But I didn't care. I mean, please, those kids were fuckin' annoying, man. I only kept them around in case I ever got hungry...
But, I care oh so very much for my children. For I am but a poor old lady who lost her children! And when people lose their children you must give them your sympathy, or else you are a horrible horrible person. So give me your fucking sympathy or you can suck my dick!
So then I realized that since I didn't have those damn kids around anymore to worry about... I could actually enjoy myself. So I went to a local pimp and prostituted myself for a couple weeks until I made enough money to have a three-way with that man and his camel again.
And this time, during our little escapade, the man asked me if I wanted to destroy the world.
And I said, sure, why not?
So he told me that he would like for me to join him and his friends in hijacking a nuclear bomb with which to destroy the world.
So we hijacked the nuclear bomb. And I'm not gonna describe how cuz I am but a poor old lady and we poor old ladies who lose our children know nothing about hijacking nuclear bombs (plus the fact that the author doesn't know shit about it either).
But then we found out that the nuclear bomb only has the capacity to blow up all of Iraq.
So we began to plot as to how we would destroy the entire world.
We realized that we would have to get the whole entire world into Iraq.
So now, I tell you that I lost my children. And if you have any sympathy for a poor old lady like me then you will come and help me find my children. You will come to Iraq on the night of March 1st (and be sure that you are in Iraq at midnight, or else you will not be within the bomb's capacity and we will not be able to kill you) and you will search far and wide (as long as it's within the boundaries of Iraq) for my children. And if you find them... then you can go on and kill the little bastards... cuz I don't give a flying fuck about them.
Just make sure you don't leave the country with them. Cuz I wanna be sure those little fuckheads die with y'all.
So, if you have any sympathy, then come to Iraq immediately. If you don't have any sympathy, then you are a horrible person and you deserve to die and you can suck my poor old lady dick.