Platypus With a Spatula Mother Nature's trying to take me down
but I'm a platypus with a spatula
the sky is demeaningly gray
thunder booms with intimidation
but it can't intimidate me
the lightning tears the sky
rips across in dynamic streaks
but it can't tear me apart
for I am strong
I am a platypus with a spatula
a platypus, a misfit
so misfit the world doesn't know
how to keep me restrained
I am new, and enigmatic
so I challenge Mother Nature
I have a spatula
my tool
my means by which to challenge the world
I wield a spatula in both hands
I'm not flipping hamburgers
I'm being God
It starts to rain
They tell me we have to leave the campsite
The other members of our camping group
Are freaking out
Afraid of the lightning
I assure them they are in safe hands
When the hands wield a spatula
When the hands are of a platypus
The thunder roars like a lion
The lightning cuts like a scissor
I beat these natural devastators away
Throwing my spatulas into the air
They are trying to devastate my day
We are supposed to sleep at the site
That's what I plan to do
The scene pleases me
Lots of trees
A comely grass
Firm ground
Can't wait to sleep on it
But they wanna take us away
Just cuz of a little thunder and lightning
Clouds collide!
Electricity forms and vociferates
The group screams
And rain begins to fall
Wetness coming down on our heads
I like it, as it is nature's way
But if I let it fall
They won't let me stay
So I figure it's time
I gather myself
All my platypus power
Released into my spatulas
Shot into the air
Mother Nature ain't no match for me
When you're a platypus
With a spatula
There ain't no match for you
In all of existence
I do a spatula dance
I swing up at the air
Demanding that the rain ascend
Instead of falling down
Cuz I wanna stay at the site
Have myself a trippy night
Nature is trying to oppose my well-being
So I formulate opposition
To defend my wishes
I dance, and send the rain
Back to the heaves
I chant:
"Rain, rain, go away!
That is what my spatulas say!"
I overcome myself
My 5'8, 115 pound body
Accompanied by my platypus soul
Becomes a force so dense, so intense
That I overcome mother nature
I look to my side
And see my shadow
The light has cast beside me
An image of me
20 feet long
the light knows my true size
it represents me well
I am a little giant
I can overcome anything
The rain stops falling
But the lightning
is sent back to us
By that whore, Mother Nature
Mother Nature, I say
It is time you become MY whore
I shoo the lightning away
With spatula in hand, I say
"lightning, lightning
sky a-brightening
have you ever seen a mere man
this damn frightening?"
the lightning shies away
I have triumphed
I tell the terrified group
That there's no need to fear
But, what's this?
The pickup van is here?
They tell me it's time to go
I scream no way, hell fucking no!
I made Mother Nature my whore for you
Defied the mother I loved for you
Opposed my dependent force for you
And now we're turning away
Running away
From a benign force
A benign force that I have tamed
You cowards! When we came
I was promised a trippy night
A night with nature
But now you have defied me
Defy me? a platypus with a spatula?
Your cowardice fills me with dismay
I made the rain go away
It was a trippy place and I wanted to stay
Be one with nature and live the true way
Well, screw then, sine we're gonna leave
I figure why continue to oppose
Such a well-meaning, beautiful force?
I hug a tree
Apologize to my mother nature
"I apologize that I opposed
now, go on, drench those!
Recuperate your strength, give us a show
Throw rain down
Thunder all around
Wet our world
Continue the natural cycle
That we may always have water
To hydrate ourselves
Rumble and crackle
Perform for us music!
Paint us a picture
With your yellow lightning streaks
Just be, be, be what you are
Be art, be beauty, be love, be benign"
So I let go of the antagonism
Within my spatulas
And filled them with my love
My love for our natural world
I had not tried to become God
I had tried to replace God
I acted selfishly
Instead of in the worlds best interest
So rain on down
Forgive me for my opposition
I must realize
I am one with Mother Nature
For I am a platypus, a creature so strong
My spatulas gave me the power
To overthrow the natural, central force of our earth and sky
But that power is not to be used
In opposition to what is good
Love and beauty are not what are to be overthrown
They are to be become
I became one with nature
I let go of my hate
And I became love
Shit, though
I'd been promised a trippy night
The beauty of the site
The nature it consisted of
Had been so promising
But, how now, do I not realize
I did have a trippy night?
I found out that I,
A platypus with a spatula
Am one with the strongest force in the world
And I became one with Mother Nature
To the ordinary man, I should think
To a man who lives for money, not love
And is a slave to the corporate reality
And never bothers to meet mother nature
The super-reality
I had a pretty damn trippy night.