"No. I didn't."

"Are you kidding?
That's common knowledge!"

"Jesse? How long do ostrich eggs take to hatch?"

"I don't know that!"

"You see, Richie, it isn't common knowledge!"

"Well all of you are uncommon!
It's not just common knowledge,
but a scientifically proven theorum!
You know how they know?
Well, they planted apple trees in an emu farm,
yeah, I know what you're thinking,
emus aren't the exact same thing
as ostriches,
but they're pretty much interchangeable
both tall like gawky adolescent girls,
both squawk cuz they can't fly,
both stick their heads in the ground,
their beaks are different colorations, granted
but they're the motherfucking same thing, aight?
So, anyway, each time one of them emus
dropped an egg
they went and planted an apple tree.
You know how long apple trees take to grow,
don't you?"

"No."

"10 years, that's how long!
The ostrich is sexually mature
by the time it hatches!
That's why they make them eggs so big.
Can you imagine that?
When they come out
already there's competition to impregnate them,
thas Darwin, right?
Something like that ever happen to you?
Probably has, 'least in a past life or something.
Have you ever popped out of an egg,
apples are falling on you,
ostriches are impregnating you,
shit like that really make you wish you were an ostrich,
dig?"