I Have Seen the Purple Platypus I have seen the Purple Platypus!
-- and beyond--
it is the captain of the Mongolian Navy
and it is within me.
This platypus’s family
are an odd clan
who lay hairy eggs in Oceania
where they swim in castaway lagoons.
But the Purple Platypus
outcast of outcasts
his pigmented blast
rendered him unique
A Masterpiece.
The Platypus Clan surrendered him
for they felt his difference was weak.

Sympathize with the Purple Platypus!
-- outcast from the rebel’s pond--
he sailed a pirate’s ship
he climbed a Gothic Mast
neigh into Mongolia he tramped
where to be photographed by Eric Muehlenkamp
and his image was sent
a revelation to me
and the Purple Platypus
sailed his navy across the sea
into me.

I have known the Purple Platypus!
--he waves a magic wand--
not a wizard’s wan,
but that of a chef.
Plastic Spatulas
cause the wet sky cabbages
to let fall their condensation
Oh the sensation!
that the platypus brings
lightning sings
but strikes no fear
for the Purple Platypus is here!

I am the Purple Platypus
--We are Bond--
together
individual
I am in touch with my inner platypus
and its aura is purple.
I dance the hora
I climb mountains with the caribou
I boggle even Lora
and I am beyond you

for I have seen the Purple Platypus!
--and beyond--
-I am outcasted from your ponds
-I will wave my magic wand
a Purple Platypus with a Spatula

Call me Patti!
if you would eat beans
call me Crazy!
if you so deem
call me TAFKA!
if you patronize
call me Jesus
if you realize
call me Charles Manson
if you look into my eyes