Corkscrew
They told me they'd publish my poem
if I took out the swears
and that one metaphor with Jerry Falwell giving Jesus a blowjob...

I turned my back to them,
dropped my pants,
said
If you can fit a corkscrew up there
you can take my poem,
soul,
whatever it is you want.
They complained,
"but Mr. Platypus
that would be considered sodomy, rape, even,"
and I asked them
exactly what they thought
they wanted to do to my poem.