Computers Are the Future When computers can do the work of humans
they will be applauded and gladly received
in the place of humans.
They will work with more efficiency,
for nothing has the work ethic of a computer.
They will work for less money,
because all computers are self-sufficient and altogether not needy
because they don’t have 12 children in Mexico they have to feed.
If you give a computer’s brain electric jolts
and let it have sex with outlets of walls every once in a while,
its desires are fulfilled.
If you play with it,
tease its keyboard and the such,
then it will never be lonely and always feel
it has a reliable friend who will be there for it when times get hard.
If you make sure to give it cavity checks
and take it to Dr. Norton for a physical whenever it may be at risk for a virus,
then it will stay healthy
so that it can
work.

Computers never visited the garden of Eden,
so they never committed original sin.
God never had to
give his only son for computers,
but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them;
he does
with all his spirit
cuz they’re low-maintenance, ya know?
So he intends for them
to take the place of humans
because computers won’t kill each other or
burn biomes from the face of the earth
and obliterate entire ecosystems.
He does feel somewhat wistful to kill humans,
for they alone can make music,
write poems or paint pictures,
while computers most certainly have no artistic spirit to speak of.
But humans destroy their inspiration
and mainstream music is no good nowadays
so he knows the time for our demise has come,
goddamn MTV.

This is why the Educational Testing Service
has arisen to so much power;
it is god’s will that
the worth of a man,
his success and paths of future
will be determined by nothing more
than an SAT.
Standardized.
Aptitude.
Test.
God is testing you.
Shaping a society in which
the greatest virtue
the most admirable (and only useful)
quality
one can possess
is the ability to produce
a 1600,
answering all mindlessly generated questions
perfectly.

Soon, when we realize
that computers can be taught to ace standardized tests
with a simple copiable encoding
instead of years spent teaching, learning, preparing, and studying
we will send computers to schools
to take the SATs
Computers will attend the Ivy League
Computers will be given the highest paying jobs
Computers will not serve us,
they will serve themselves.

Humans,
as they are fired from their jobs
by their computer bosses
to be replaced by
the new computer working class,
will go home
vedge out in front of the computer
(or its retarded counterpart,
the television),
eat genetically-engineered
microwavable dinners
and slowly sink into lethargy
too braindead to
Think,
then to sing,
then to feel,
and then to have sex.
We will no longer have sex,
and thus die
succeeded by
nothing except
the thriving computers we fashioned
and our bones
fossilized and preserved in
sedimentary grease
and artificial flavoring.