Untitled
Bittersweet memories now come with sharp tears,
My body cringes with thoughts of the evenings.
Skin to skin caresses and fingertip questions -
All horrors I beg to be released from my being.
His tongue has fouled my mouth,
And his touch has seared my skin.
I lay in pieces on the crimson floor -
Myself smashed in the face of surrounding betrayal.
My broken rules scream their accusations
And my once soft fingertips are bloodied.
The attempt to collect the shattered me has proven futile.
Remembrance is my bane, my curing prolonged -
I pray for forgiveness, but mostly plead forgotten.
This pain need not stay; need not afflict me with its face.
My mind needs erasing while my heart seeks removing -
These scars threaten years of prominence.
Mine anger is rising at my used body's state -
My knuckles pose to be battered in this righteous brawl.
But no fight will there be - just the one raging in me,
As my memory wars with my healing soul.
I'm going to forget how I trusted him
Then forget how he kissed me -
Forget how I touched him
Then forget how he hurt me -
Forget how I knew him -
Then I can forget how I allowed this pain.
Purple Haze Dreams
Purple hazed plans come crashing down
Leaving a lavender-tinged void
Visions of potential swirl wildly
Taunting me with what can possibly be
Elusive images haunt my sleep
Hopeful daydreams flit through my thoughts
Your shadowed figure beckons through fog
Yet my quest for your quality ever prolongs
I see you standing in the distance
But my journey never progresses
Hazy vision strains through the mist
Your form is naught but a blue-black blur
Perpetual the wait for your presence
Fruitless the search for a fit
My blue colored stencil is useless now
In this realm of flesh and bone shapes
Rose-scented prayers collect in a jar
Gathering strength for a plea
Crimson cold blood courses through veins
Awaiting the heat of your fires
Patient heart stretches thin and weak
Counting on the promises He made to me
I’ll stay in my darkening garden of hope
Till your light illumines my dreams
My Collarbone
There’s a mouth on my collarbone.
My skin trembles while my mind outrages.
How – Why – When...
What happened? Who is me, her, I?
My rules and regulations – security fences –
They’ve failed me,
I cut them neatly with wire clippers.
I confused my mind, my heart – not my collarbone.
No – My collarbone smiles.
My sensibility recoils, demands that I stop.
“Stupid” it cries – Don’t make a glorious mistake -
But my senses have reigned.
My sated skin, fingertips, neck, mouth, collarbone,
Smile in Cheshire-cat contentment.
“Brick Up!” commands my emotions
And distance from this affront, this casualty.
But my collarbone gleefully plucks each brick from its place,
And my fingertips laugh as they hurl them from me.
I duck preemptively from the expected fallout.
Now on my own - my mind rules again.
Being Second-Choice option is no option of mine.
I sew up my feelings...my senses...my collarbone
In a much harder Jacket -
Let my reason control - I'll squelch my wandering skin
But as I fasten my half-hearted laws,
My collarbone giggles and purrs no remorse
Too Afraid to Try
I love the way you talk to me
I listen to every word
I love the way you watch my face
As though there's something to be heard
I love the way you make me laugh
You don't even seem to try
I love the way you make me feel
So special deep inside
I hate the way I'm not in charge
The way my feelings go awry
I hate the way I fall in love
But to you I have to lie
I hate the way I never know
Just how you feel t'wards me
I hate the way you make me feel
So mixed up hopelessly
I hate the effect you have on me
How you can make me cry
I love the way that we could be
But I'm too afraid to try
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My Poem
I'm desperately alone
Everywhere I look
I don't see anyone
I hate to feel this way
Why must I be alone
No one understands
The struggles thrown
In my face
Constantly being thrown
I can barely
Catch them all
No one to help
No one at all
Always here, Always
I'm always here today
It doesn't matter when
It doesn't matter why
It doesn’t matter if you care
All that really matters is that I’m here with you today
I’m always here tonight
It doesn’t matter how late
It doesn’t matter what you want
It doesn’t matter if you know
All that really matters is that I’m here with you tonight
I’m always here in your sleep
It doesn’t matter if you dream
It doesn’t matter if you wake
It doesn’t matter what you think
All that really matters is that I’m here with you in your sleep
I’m always here tomorrow
It doesn’t matter what you say
It doesn’t matter if you believe
It doesn’t matter if you laugh or cry
All that really matters is that I’m here with you tomorrow
I’m always here with you
I’m here to listen and to talk
I’m here to laugh and to cry
I’m here to just sit and stare
Because, all that really matters is that I’m here with you always
Cruelty
Does life have to be so horrible
That everything is ruined for you?
Yet, you don't give up what is of most importance
Just because your friends think it is pointless.
Life turns upside down four years ago,
And the only thing you can do
Is to keep busy until it
Completely exhausts you.
When all the cruelty in life discovers you,
There is nothing you can do to stop it.
It takes everything of value to you
And all the cruelty tries to destroy it.
If attention is not paid
To the slightest of things,
They are soon gone forever.
And if they are gone,
What is the point to life?
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