“Thank You God”

One Lady’s Journey Within.

Chapters

14-17

Chapter 14

“Recipe of Life.”

I used to think to myself what if we had a recipe for life! When I stopped drinking I did not know how to live. All I knew was how to drink, drug and have sex, yes I worked but only to get my fixes. I did not know how to relate with others, I did not know how to even try. A friend of Phil's named Tom explained to me how he got sober, how he learned to live in sobriety. Tom said to me, “I have the Recipe Of Life, would you like to know the recipe?” I laughed actually I cracked up, I said ya right! I am sure! That is silly! Tom said, “Honest, it works for me, you can try it if you like.” Well I laughed, he said, “You read this recipe all the time.” I said, “I do?” he said, “Yes,” I said, “What is it?” Tom explained to me that the, “Twelve Steps.” Are the recipe of life. I said, “Really?” He said, ”Yes.”

I was about three months into my sobriety after I came back and got serious in changing my life. I listened to what he had to say, he made sense to me, I was willing and I knew that those steps were important in order for me to stay sober. I did not know what it had to do about life, at that time I just thought it would keep me sober. As I grew in sobriety and got an understanding of God and completely believed and took those steps, I realized that he was right the Steps are a recipe for life. I was about three years sober. I truly was feeling and wanting more, hungering for a relationship with God. I took the steps with a lady in the program. I had written and studied them in my first three years of my sobriety; actually I took the steps with many different ladies and one counselor. Before I got together with Bill I took the steps with him. I got the belief, understanding and trust from those people as well as reading and writing on the steps, and my experiences in my life. When I was three years sober I asked Tom who told me that the “Twelve Steps are the Recipe Of Life,” “If I could take his line and call it the Recipe Of Life also?” He said sure we’re all are here in this life to love and share with each other. The name, Recipe Of Life did not come from me, he explained,” the Recipe Of Life came from a friend of mine.” I smiled and was grateful for him being in my life.

I call the “Twelve Steps,” “The Recipe Of Life,” now I truly believe it helps me live life. The twelve steps brought me to an understanding of a higher power that I choose to call God. The Twelve Steps are saving my life each day.

What the Twelve steps mean to me is:

Step one:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

What this is saying to me is if I believe I am an alcoholic or an addict then I am and I cannot drink or use again. My life is unmanageable because of my choices, and actions on my choices.

Step Two:

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

What this means is, I am coming to believe in a Power greater than myself. I cannot run my life anymore I have to let a higher power run my life. It also means I have to get out of the way. I cannot act on my thinking anymore. I have to let my higher power do the work. I had to believe it, in order for me to honestly believe, I had to get a higher power.

So I wrote on what the qualities my higher power had. I was told to make my own higher power. I mentioned this in an earlier chapter; I wrote that God is my best friend. Kind, loving, and compassionate. I took God everywhere with me as a friend. As time went by God changed to be more and now God is to me all there is, we are a part of the all so we are one with God when we choose to be. So I could not do step two until I truly believed I was not in charge. I did step two when I truly believed and then went on to step three.

Step Three:

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand Him.

This means I have to make a decision to turn my will and life to God, as I understand God. I have to trust and be willing to give God all of me. In order for me to take this step I have to believe and completely surrender to God. I have to do this on a daily basis.

Step Four:

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

This means that I have to be honest. An inventory is writing so I was told to follow a format in a book the 12-step group has. Write my resentments, anger, write my part what I did. I also had to write my fears down. Then later in time I also wrote on myself, I was told to write my feelings on what happened to me in my life and my feelings on what I have done and know that I am already forgiven, I only hurt myself if I am not honest. Because I was abused as a child I wrote about my childhood and wrote whatever came to my mind. I prayed before I did the inventory and let God write. I started with the deepest secret I had and went on from there. I believe that helped me get to see my whole life, some memories I had I may of not known then, even today when I do get memories, I talk about them or write them down and then tell someone. It is important for me to get the poison out of so I can live in peace.

Step Five:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

This means to be honest not just within myself also with someone else. So I took what I wrote and read it and talked about it, some memories popped up that I did not write down so I wrote them and told the person. It helped me; it made me feel as if a weight was lifted. I got a freedom; I did not get that freedom the first time I took the steps. I got it when I truly believed it is a process I still am getting more freedom some times the freedom seems to go but when I truly believe and get honest I am free.

Step Six:

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

This means that I have to be ready; it did not say I have to do it. It said ready and ready I believe is to be willing. So I have to be willing to give my defects to God. To give my old habits to God, my shortcomings, my old ways, my old thoughts, I have to be willing. God will take them away one at a time.

Step Seven:

Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

This means that I have to ask God for help. I have to believe that God will take my defects and shortcomings, I have to know if I still want to experience some of those defects, or do I want to give them all to God. The reason I say this is because some defects I do not want to let go of. I have to be honest. I love food and I did not want to let go and it is one of my defects because I was using it as a fix. So I held on to that shortcoming and I gained a lot of weight. I got sick and tired of my weight and I wanted to give it to God so I got honest on that part of my life and started to do the steps on that. I believe we cannot do this completely if were still holding on to some of our defects. I have let go little at a time; some I let go faster, some defects I did not want to completely let go of. Some I don’t know I have until I act on them, or think about them. My food problem I lost weight and now I am at a point that I took it back and am still using food as a fix. So that shows it is a process that we have to work on daily. I believe my thoughts create so I try to change my negative thoughts so I do not have to act on them. These steps made me look at myself and see what defects I am willing to give to God. I believe all these steps are done one day at a time not all at one time. We may read and write on them at one time, and discuss them and start to believe but it is a recipe and I need to follow it step-by-step daily.

Step Eight:

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

In this step I wrote a list of the people in my life I harmed. I wrote what I did and how I felt on what I did. I wrote about me not them. I had to write about what I did because I am changing myself no one else. I became willing, and then I went to step nine.

Step Nine:

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

In this step I had to be careful because I had to be willing to make amends to people I hurt and I had to make I sure I did not hurt anyone including myself in the process. Most of my past actions that I did hurt me and my family so I had to make amends through my actions, I was told by a friend who walked me through the steps, she said, “Saying sorry is not making amends anyone can say I’m sorry and not mean it and repeat it again.” I went to my family and made amends. I just went and loved them and continued to show it by my actions. I did try to talk to my mother she did not let me. I mainly kept it quiet and let myself love my son. As you read in the previous chapters you know my family did not accept my amends and they choose to not forgive me. That amends was done on my part. I did what I had to do and the results are out of my hands. I have expressed before I cannot make anyone love or forgive me all I can do is give love, and forgive others and myself.

My other amends dealt with some other friends and most of what I did was to show by my actions, some money amends I made some I have to still make. I make my amends when God lets me know just like when I speak of the intuitions, I follow those. We know what we have to do if we really listen to the voice within. I was suggested also when we make amends don’t make amends if we do not really feel guilty if we think there is no amend to be made then don’t because that would not be honest on our part and this is all done for us no one else.

Step Ten:

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

This step keeps me on my toes I have to watch what I say and do, like when I have mentioned that our actions and thoughts create so if I say something hurtful or do something hurtful I have to correct it when I catch it. It is a daily process. Sometimes I catch myself faster than others. If I think something negative and I catch it. I change the thought if I do not catch it usually someone catches it for me, and lets me know because if I think it, I usually say it or do it. So if it gets that far that someone catches it in my words, I try to change it right there on the spot. If it goes further and I am acting on something negative, someone tells me. I change the actions. Or I continue to do it and get real miserable. I like this step because it keeps me on a positive mark. I do not like to keep going to people and saying I should not of said that, that was wrong of me. I have done that often enough to say I do not like to. Call it ego or whatever but honestly I do not like to say I was wrong. So I rather not do or say anything hurtful if I can help it. I know how I feel when some one tells me something hurtful it does not feel good. I want to treat people the way I like to be treated and I want to show love to others when I do that, I feel love from within.

Step Eleven:

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

This means I have to pray and talk to God, also I have to listen to God for His answers. When I am still, and quiet. When I just am. I can hear and know what I am supposed to do. My understanding is that God is within so I do not need to search outside. I have to go within, meditation helps me do that. Prayer helps me see what my questions are so then in meditation I can know what to listen for.

Step Twelve:

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principals in all our affairs.

This step means to share and love others help not only alcoholics or addicts but help human beings I am not on this earth to help. I am on this earth to love. Loving helps others and I need love so if I love others I will feel love from within and that helps me stay sober. More important it helps me love God within, and loving God helps me love myself. Here is a little rhyme that helps me remember the recipe of life. Given to me by Tom.

If I take the steps in order one through twelve, don’t change the periods and commas, don’t forget to dot the i’s, or cross the t’s, and don’t change the meditation, to medication, I will be free today. Through the twelve steps I have been given gifts, peace and serenity, a new freedom and a new relationship with my best friend-me.

So the recipe of life helps me not only stay sober but helps me stay connected to the God within. The God within helps me live life to the fullest and for that I am grateful.

Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All contents Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All rights reserved.

Chapter 15

“No Beginning No End.”

No beginning no end? What does that mean?

I have thought about that often. God has no beginning or end. We have no beginning or end. God is all. God is beauty. If there is not a beginning and not an end then what? I have thought about that, how could there be no beginning? That used to drive me nuts trying to figure that out. When I was a teenager I thought about that, I never was able to find anyone to give me an answer. I believe today that is the way it is. Like the air I breathe how can there be air if I can’t touch or see it, I just go on in faith that I will have air, so God, to me, is like that. God is much more than that, at the same time God is that. If I take time trying to get a certain answer it could drive me insane. I know the answers will come in time. I accept God, as God, it is simpler. I have felt the love of God and I have seen God in action through others and through myself.

My eyes see God, I see God through the sun, the moon, I see beauty; I look at the trees, and see strength. I look at the sky and see compassion; I look at birds and see oneness in the moment. I look in the mirror and I see the love of God. We are here forever; our Soul helps us remember that. Our Soul helps us remember the things we have forgotten. I came to believe we are all one; actually I am coming to remember we are all one. Our Spirit is forever and are Soul lets us know that. When I am quiet and just listening, when I for get every thing I think I know about the spirit I get answers from within. When I make my mind clear I have experienced that I am one with the Spirit; I have no beginning and no end. When I just am who I am and sit, I can feel the peace and I get answers to questions. I believe that is how God, the Spirit speaks to us. When I am in that state, I am full of peace, I have no fear; so I have no blocks from the Spirit, then God can speak to me. My Soul then helps me to remember what I already know. I believe that we are not here to so call teach, we are not here to learn, we are here to unlearn what we have been taught in our childhood, in society, in this material world. I believe we were born knowing all, since we are spiritual beings having a human experience we have developed some human habits and because we have the humanness within us we do learn and we do teach each other to remember who we really are so when I think about it we do teach each other to unlearn what we have learned as human beings and so we can remember the truth of who we really are. “Children Of God.” Our Soul reminds us what we already know; we know all. We came from God and we are still from God. The Soul tells us we are part of God, we live forever, when we get in touch with the fact that we are part of God, then we get a peace within ourselves and fear goes away. Remember all that I am saying is my beliefs and what I feel is to be true for me. Everyone has his or her own truth that is what is important. What is true for me may not be for you, that is because we all are unique and have are own special personalities that is a gift. We all have something to share with each other; the gift of God is within each and every one of us to share. I believe we help each other to remember what we already know, we just forgot, we have it so deeply imbedded in our subconscious mind.

We are Spirit, Soul, and Body. Spirit is God, the Absolute, the Word; we are a part of God. We are part of the Absolute, we are part of the Word, and some people say we are God. I believe when we get our human selves out of the way then there is God so that makes us God, that means we are Absolute. I believe the Soul is the Law, the Law tells us what we already know, but our humanness seems to forget. The Soul is the subconscious mind; the Soul provides the power and action within us. The body is the shell, the human part the form we chose to live in; the body has conditions, the Spirit and Soul has no conditions. The Spirit gave us a choice that is how we have free will. The human part is able to act on that free will. Have you ever acted on something and felt terrible? I have! I have acted on something and felt real bad; I believe the soul is what our conscience is. The Soul tells us what we already know, so if I am doing an action and it does not feel right then it is my Soul telling me not to continue that action. It is I, as the human being, who has to make the decision of listening, paying attention to the Soul, or doing free will. The Soul and Spirit are one, the Spirit and Soul work together, the Soul is like the messenger to the human; letting the human being remember what he or she already knows, “We know all.” Since we’re spiritual beings having a human experience, we may believe we have a separation from God; we don’t we’re one with God. We just choose to express God in this experience as being human.

Masters seem to have that down pat; they can be in this world and at the same time not be of this world. They know the Spirit within, and they know what their Soul is telling them. We are the same as they are; they just choose to use that gift more often. I believe that we can benefit from reading about these masters. Take Jesus for example, Jesus said in the bible; “The Kingdom of heaven is at hand,” (meaning within) we all have it within it is up to us what we choose and how much we choose to remember. So the Kingdom of God is not a place it is “Within our deepest thought,” kingdom of God is, “The consciousness of God.” Have you watched little children? Little children open themselves to the love of God. We must be like children, be open and trusting. Children do not know what sin is or what old habits are, they just trust and go with Love they go with the flow. Children seem to be more into remembering who they really are. Children see and know the kingdom of God. They just don’t know that they have knowledge of it. As time goes by they tend to get into the humanness and forget who they really are, they forget the God consciousness. When I see a baby, I think of being like that; open and trusting with out fear. That helps me remember the oneness of God that I am.

I believe that we choose the experiences we live in life. We also have the right to change and re-choose what our experience is to be, that is why each day we have a choice on how to live the day, we have no control of people, but we do when it comes to ourselves. I chose to experience my life, I also re-choose as life progresses; I can start over anytime in the day. What a gift we have. We have perfection within ourselves we can share it with each other, we can express ourselves to each other and we can be ok with ourselves. We were given a gift, that gift is unlimited, be grateful for your gifts. I have perfection within me; I have poise, power, and love within me. God the power, the All Knowing, is within me. The living Spirit is whole and is within me. The Spirit never dies, so I will never die, life goes on. We go on to different experiences we never die we go to another existence. I had an experience I was sleeping, I thought I was leaving my body it was so real it felt like I was blending in with the universe, kind of like in meditation it felt like I was out of my body. It was in November of 2002 it was like I was being guided of what death feels like. It was an awesome experience maybe as time goes by I will understand it better and can explain it better. It was like I was leaving my body I felt myself go out of my body and I told myself to go with it don’t be afraid it is ok. It was so real I woke up and I just knew it was real. I don’t know if I was dieing, or if I was just in the state of when our Spirit leaves the body in the dream state. I have heard we do leave our body when we sleep I will continue to talk with God and meditate on that experience. I am grateful for that experience it was not the first time I experienced something like that. But it sure was another awakening for me.

We are blessed with Gods gift of abundance. You have abundance. I have abundance. You have all. I have all. You have it today. I have it today. We always have it. Like the trees they do not lack for leaves, so we do not lack we are just as important as the trees. The flowers bloom, so we bloom. Nothing can keep me from God except my lack of faith and we can have faith if we just believe. If we believe, we have all; if we believe we do receive, and so it is.

I believe I am a child of God. I am one with God. I am the place where God shines through, and so it is.

I am never alone or lonely; you are never alone or lonely. I have God within me, you have God within you and because of that we’re all one and never ever alone. I do not choose my friends, God the Power, the Divine provides me with companions. I love, and love is within me. I have forgiveness within me, and because of that I forgive and forgive myself. God forgives so I forgive, God does not keep my mistakes, God keeps my love, and so I keep love. Where there is God there is no fear, if there is God there is no sin, if there is God then there is not doubt. If there is God then there is love. If there is God there is perfection. With God there is all and with all there is God and so it is.

God in every breath, God in every step we take.

Have you ever thought what would happen if you had no one except yourself? That thought frightened me. I did not like to be alone because I thought I was alone so I had it in my head that being a lone is lonely. I now like to be by myself because then it is God and I. That is when I can get out of the way and let God work through me. That is when I learn to let God within me out, and then I am able to let God out when I am with other people. So let’s all let the love out and share with each other we are never alone. Thank God.

The saying that I have heard and have said at times about the teacher will appear when the student is ready. I believe means God is the teacher and the human is the student and when we are centered with God in that peaceful state of either meditation or just letting God shine through us then we do not need to learn because we know and are remembering for that time in that state of moment. Because of the humanness we possess free will we have; we do need to learn. We are not in that peaceful serene state all the time. That is one reason why I say, “I am grateful for others.” When people cross my path I choose to be open to hear not just talk because as a human being I need to hear what they have to say, if I really do believe God speaks through others. So we as the Soul, Spirit does not need to be taught. We or I should say I need to just remember; we as the human we I shall say me in this case I need to be taught from the Spirit. The Spirit is within you so when you are centered with the Spirit you can teach others and you can teach me, that is how I perceive all this.

I remind you once again every thing written in these chapters are my beliefs and opinions; and experience in this life I have lived so far. I can’t wait to see what more I will experience in this journey in life. Also some of the words written are repeated using different words or expressions meaning the same things. I do that because I need to hear it more then once I repeat it for myself. It helps me really see what is being written, it helps me let go and let the spirit work through me on paper.

Thank you God.

Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All contents Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All rights reserved.

Chapter 16

“Does Religion Make A Difference? ”

I like the saying:

Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell.

Spirituality is for those who have been there.

I think religion is a good way to express our way of believing in God, with others who share similar beliefs. I believe it does not matter what religion one believes in, there are many paths to God, so the religion a person chooses does not matter. What matters is, if a person is in a religion to please another person, or in a religion because they think they are doomed and going to hell if they do not have a religion. Then I believe that is dangerous, I have met many people who fear God and think they’re doomed so they join a religion and they are miserable. I myself believe in the Spirit of God. Religion is just a choice if you want to be a part of a group of people who share similar beliefs. I go to a group that shares similar beliefs as I. I feel comfortable there. It is not a religion just a group meeting together and shares with each other.

Let’s use this scenario as an example:

Picture yourself wanting to cross a river. You could go straight ahead at the deepest end and possibly drown, or you can use near by rocks in the river to cross with a possibility of slipping into the river. Your third choice is to hike a mile down the river and cross over a bridge safely. The paths to God are very similar to this scenario. The choices are yours. I would say to anyone go where you feel comfortable, don’t go for anyone but yourself. Religion is a name and is man made, no one religion has the truth, I believe strongly there is no one way to believe, all the ways lead to the same place, all to God. It seems people just choose their way to God. Some choose to love God with fear; some do not even know they are fearing God because they were taught that way. Some choose to love without fear; some choose to call God something else. That’s fine, God is God use any name, Power, Buddha, Jesus, Jehovah, and they all mean the same. I used to put religion down; I thought it was for weak people. Now I do not think that way, I think if there is a religion you like, go for it. I try to keep an open mind, I believe there is no right, or wrong religion it is just choice. God is everywhere not just in a church, not just in a building so how ever a person chooses to express their faith, their love, is not right or wrong it just is.

I live on holy ground, wherever my feet are I am standing on holy ground. What a gift! We can be at home doing nothing and we’re with God, we can be anywhere and God is there, we do not have to make a phone call to God, we do not have to worry, we just have to go within. Some people feel comfortable talking to the outside God. That is fine. God is within and out. Sometimes I imagine God holding me, giving me that mother, father love. Sometimes I breathe in and out and think of God sending me love; there are many ways to receive love from God. It is such a freedom for me to know I am loved. I have thought I was unloved most of my life. I know now God loved me the whole time, and I am taken care of forever. I was, I am, I will be and so it is.

Be open to the Love, the Spirit, stop a moment, and take time to meditate, it does not matter how long just take a moment breathe and look at the first thing you see and feel the beauty of what you are looking at, breathe and let the positive thoughts flow and the negative thoughts out. You can do this as you’re reading this, stop a moment and look out a window, breathe and look at something, breathe in and out think of the beauty of what your looking at feel it take it in. Enjoy the moment. I do that off and on throughout the day, sometimes when I feel tense, I stop a moment and I take a few breaths and it calms me down. We can do this anytime. We do not have to be in a particular place. We can love God; feel the love of God meditate anywhere anytime, God is always there. We just have to be open so we can experience His love. I had gone through years, never experiencing that love because I was not open enough.

I was too much into the negativity and the light was right there, I chose to see the dark, now I choose to see the light and so it is.

Be yourself the more we become ourselves the more we see the light. Being our true selves without any put on acts brings us into the light. I was a people pleaser and acting the way I thought others wanted me to, that was not being myself. I found it hard to be myself because I did not know who I was. I searched for myself for years and once I got sober, I did not know who I was. I was so many people, I was told to be me I did not know how. I started to listen to others on how they became their true selves; they would share on how they did not know who they were either so I did not feel alone. I would ask questions and get phone numbers and talk to these ladies, I met some nice people. We leaned how to be ourselves together. We became honest and did not people please, we spoke up on what we wanted and shared with each other. I realized to be the true self is a daily process. We don’t just become the true us over night, it is a process like my abstinence from drinking was one day at a time. I don’t drink and one day at a time I get to know myself better. I strongly believe I become my true self. In order for me to become the true me, I have to have a higher power, the more I come to believe in God the more I believe in myself then I can express myself. I have to get my humanness out of my way in order for me to see my true self. I went through many journeys trying to find the true me in and out of sobriety. I would see someone who I thought was the true me and I would act like him or her. I had many different experiences before I found myself. After a few years in sobriety I realized I had to reach within to be the true me just like God is within and so that made my life a lot simpler. I am one with God when I am my true self. I get to experience that one-day at a time sometimes one minute at a time. The more I get out of my humanness, the more I get to experience the true me.

Does God test us?

I have heard people say God tests us to see if we really love Him. I do not believe that. I used to think my life was a big test because of the negative things that were going on in my life. I thought I was being tested as a punishment. I believe we are not tested. I think we are living the human life as a choice, we all have free will so that is why some things in life may look like a test but it isn’t. It is just other people in our lives that are acting on free will. Would you test your child to see if your child loved you? I would not. God loves us. I believe we are God’s children so we’re not tested. I believe some people think God tests them because they choose to not live up to their mistakes so some people can say, “Oh that was a test in life.” Or if something in life happens to us and it is not our fault like take for instance my childhood, it was not a test and it was not my fault it was someone else’s free will. When I was drinking I was exercising free will and I hurt others it was not a test on them it was my free will I acted on. I am coming to believe more and more that we tend to think we were being tested so we don’t have to take full responsibility for our actions or accepting others the way they are. I would like say I was tested and God allowed me to be molested, it would give me a good excuse to fool around, make my life a mess and say I am being tested. I can’t because then I would not be taking responsibility for my actions or accepting others. I have to be honest and accept that it was their choice to do that to me. It is my choice to get on with my life, and become the true me. Other wise I will become a victim and continue making excuses for the life I had and I will never grow up or enjoy the beautiful gift of life. I am not being tested I was never tested.

Human beings do the testing not God. I was living a life while others around me did not act with love but they followed their will. They acted on their own will not caring about what they were doing to affect another human being. We all have choices on how to look at things in life, I choose to not believe we’re tested it makes no sense to me that a loving God would test us. I may test and judge myself but I am grateful God does not. It is a free feeling to be able to express myself and not worry about what others think, I can speak my mind and try not to change others or make others believe the same as I do, and at the same time don’t feel bad to express my beliefs. We are all here to share and love and be are true selves I believe sharing is a part of loving. What a life! We have a gift and we can choose to use that gift in many ways, we have many opportunities to live life and express ourselves in many ways. Life is what we make it and how we react to the things that come our way. If you have a dream go for it don’t let anyone interrupt your process, life is your gift life is full of abundance so take it, it is yours, celebrate each day make each day a special day for yourself, and others. I want to make life a celebration, I am grateful for the things that come my way they give me joy and strength, they bring me closer to the Spirit. I let the Spirit in. I take the experiences in my life and let myself get closer to the spirit then I have peace and I am one with God.

Let yourself go with the Spirit and take your gift of life be one with God.

Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All contents Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All rights reserved.

Chapter 17

“Celebrate Life.”

Life is a gift, a celebration, I am grateful for my life, what do you think about making each day a celebration? Making life the best as you can, I think it is a good idea, I would like to share something with you, I was taking a nap one day and I woke up to the television. The first thing I heard was heart attacks start years before you have one. I thought to myself, “what?” I was half asleep and they said heart attacks start with stress, over eating, lack of exercise, drinking and drugging. I thought to myself, “Ok I have done all those things, so now what?” I thought again to myself, “ Ok if I stopped drinking and drugging and now I am loosing weight, I started walking, getting back into shape is it too late?” I paused and started getting negative thoughts saying, “ You are too old, it is too late, you’re no good, so you may as well give up.” That is what my thoughts said, I changed them very quickly. I told them, “Be quiet,” I continued being grateful for the fact that I am clean and sober, I am eating healthy and I am now able to get back into exercising. I thought to myself, “The past is the past what is now is now.”

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I can celebrate it or I can dwell in my past behavior. I choose to celebrate life and love myself today. So how do I celebrate? I can start by taking care of myself emotionally. I thank God and spend some quiet time with Him. I can enjoy a cup of coffee or tea, I can eat healthy and know that what I am putting into my body is healthy, I am getting stronger everyday. I can smile and let someone know I care. There are many ways to celebrate life, think about all the different ways to enjoy life. Breathing and knowing you will never run out of air to breathe, looking at the sunrise is a beautiful way to start a day out, or a sunset at the beginning of an evening as the sun goes down. When working, enjoy it with a smile on your face, if you don’t like your job, do something to change that attitude; or get a new job. Life is a beautiful experience we can make it more enjoyable if we choose to, we can get involved and do volunteer work in hospitals, or help the city with cleaning up to help make our surroundings prettier, we can help the poor, we can give someone a hug who needs one. There are so many ways to spread love and celebrate life. There are many ways to choose from to help others and that helps us when we are there for someone else. I deserve a good life and it is up to me to start acting in a manner to make my life better, I am grateful I am alive to be able to even say this and that calls for celebrating. I used to think celebrating was drinking and eating; now I say celebrating is enjoying life in a healthy and productive way. We can enjoy our life anytime, so why not start now. I will start by saying thank you for picking up this book and reading it, you are helping me, knowing that you’re reading what I am writing is helping me in many ways. One is I know I am not just writing to no one and another is you make me feel good knowing you picked this book up. We all make the world go around. People are important, what would life be like without you or me or anyone else?

We are important, we can help in a positive way, between God, you and I we make a good team. God is in the center of us all. If there is no God, then there is no life, if there is no life then there is no God, if there is no God then there is no us, so we are important. We are one! We are one with God. God is love, we are love, and so lets celebrate the love inside each and every one of us today and every day.

When I really think about life it brings tears to my eyes why am I here? Do I deserve a life like this? Yes I do! Sometimes I wonder, because of the people who have passed on, people have chosen to kill themselves over different things that have happened in their lives, because of the alcohol and drugs, and here I am, I went through all that and I am alive. I believe we go on when we choose to, so some of the people that I know who passed on, chose to. We choose the experiences we have in life. Some go on to other experiences.

I am so grateful to be in this life. Sometimes I feel like a child. The child I never was, I feel so open and happy to learn things and live life. I never thought I could because of all the negativity I had in my head. The fear I created in my own head, my life was like a prison in my head. I now feel totally new, reborn in the word. I love this feeling; I saw snow for the first time I loved it. I was 35, I was like a child. I made snowballs and rolled around in it, fell down in it, I am grateful for that experience. I sang in the Easter choir. I had tears. I was able to sing to God. It was my way of celebrating and showing my love these things I am experiencing are a gift. I know I am loved and I know I will live on in different experiences just this experience I am living now is totally new to me and I am enjoying it. I have mentioned before in previous chapters I had to learn to live life over again, I am living life to the fullest now. I do not mind leaning, relearning and unlearning things these are all a process of remembering. We are here for a reason and I am enjoying the journey. I am seeing my reason for living. I never knew I was a child of God. I know I am, we are all so that is reason enough for me to live life to the fullest and express the God in me to the God in you.

Let’s all let the love of life show in our actions and live life with love. Let’s give someone a smile on the street the next time we are walking on the sidewalk, lets shake a stranger’s hand and say “Hello how are you?” Be yourself and enjoy being you. Experience you in every way you can with love. Know you are a child of God, you and God are one. Know there is nothing you cannot do; you can do anything you put your belief and your love in. One important thing I have started to really understand is being ourselves is very important so let’s stop being the actors and start being the real us that we are meant to be. Before I end this chapter let’s repeat a few lines to ourselves, “I am celebrating life. I am one with God. I am love. I am full of abundance. I am unique. I am full of grace. I am peaceful. I love you (say your name here). Say this a few times to yourself. It helps me remember who I really am. I am one with God. We are one with God. You are one with God. I am a child of God. You are a child of God. For that, I am grateful and so it is. Life is your gift enjoy the gift of life and be yourselves.

Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All contents Copyright © 1999-2006 by Angela Contreras All rights reserved.

Thank you.

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Angela

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