
Look my way, will you? you whisper softly. Just give me one little smile, one that can make me go on for a few more weeks.
But he doesnt, he never does, why would he really? Why would someone like him look at plain old you? Even if you know deep down that maybe you could possibly be just what he needs. Theres no way in hell he would ever grace you even the slightest glance, and you know it, so why do you keep torturing yourself being around him all the time? Hes standing there, all beautiful and shit, and youre hiding in the corner, your eyes following his every move like a lost puppy.
You sigh and sit back, sipping at your drink, the colorful one that makes you drunk even before you realize youve had any. The beat is pumping in your ears, but you still stay hidden in the dark, just watching the others have fun. This is what happens every time your friends drag you out on town. They run around mingling with whoever and you just sit back alone. You wonder why you bother coming, and each time you try to say no when they start planning. But they know how to change your mind, they know all they have to say is: You know wholl be there, dont you? And youre sold, thinking that maybe, just MAYBE, tonight will be different. It never is though, and you always go home to cry in your pillow.
The music has changed to a slower rhythm, and you realize your drink is empty. You get up and find your way to the bar. Hey, when did my legs get this uncooperative? You walk into a table, almost spilling the drinks on the people sitting there. Oh God, Im so sorry, you mumble before looking up. Your breath catches in your throat when your eyes meet his, all blue and staring directly at you. Oh shit
you gulp, stepping back. Im really sorry. Then it happens, he smiles at you, and all you can do is stare back at him, your mouth agape.
Thats OK sweetie, no harm done, he says, still smiling.
You will your look from him, turning away and focusing on the bar ahead. Unable to control your feet any longer, you sit on one of the barstools, grabbing the counter to make sure you wont fall off. The bartender smiles at you, What will it be? Somewhere at the back of your mind, you start wondering if you really should have more, or just stick to water for the rest of the night. San Francisco? you ask, shoving all those thoughts back, knowing you sure as hell need more alcohol if youre gonna walk past that table again. You pay the guy and gulp down half the drink before you turn back around.
You look straight ahead, not even noticing the table at your left. Youre doing so good ignoring them, and youre almost home free when you trip in the stairs, nearly falling flat on your face. With an enormous effort on your drunken ass part, youre able to stay on your feet. How, no one knows, but you somehow get back to your safe place, the dark booth in the corner. You lean back, closing your eyes in frustration. Why me? Why do I always make such a fool of myself? A shadow is closing in on your private property, but you dont even notice until someone clears their voice right next to you.
Can I sit down?
No way. Its him, youd recognize that beautiful voice anywhere, its like music to your ears every single time you hear it. Swallowing hard, you turn your head. Sure, you manage to stutter. He sits down opposite you, a beer at his hand and hes still smiling. Stop it, you think. Stop looking so fucking adorable! Hes studying you, you can feel his eyes burning into your skin. Your eyes slowly lift to meet his, clenching the glass in your hand to keep in control. The gasp that escapes your throat when you lock gaze with him, is louder than you hoped, and you know your cheeks are bright red right about now. He doesnt seem to mind though.
Ive seen you here before, havent I?
Oh God, the worst pickup line ever, but does it matter? Not really. For all you care, he could just sit there and hum all night.
Uhm
Probably, yeah.
He smiles again, his eyes crinkling up and the blue in there shining even more than you thought possible. You know youre staring, but you cant help it, his beautiful face is more then you can take. You swallow hard, when he cocks his head and looks at you questionably.
Something wrong? he asks.
Im sorry, I didnt mean to stare
Whats your name?
Uhm
Jen?
Well, its nice to meet you Jen, he says reaching out his hand. Im JC.
I know that, you say before thinking, quickly squeezing his hand.
Oh.
I havent been living under a rock the last 5 years, so
He laughs, that amazing high pitch giggle youve heard a few times before. Yeah, thats what everyone keeps saying.
I dont think you guys even realize how big you are.
That might be true, but I prefer to think thats just as well, he said honestly, taking a sip from his beer.
You just smile, not sure if youre dreaming or not.
So what do you do Jen?
I
I work as a stylist.
Oh cool. Where?
For Disney.
OK. So honestly, he grins, putting his beer down and leaning across the table. What do you think I should do with my hair?
Huh? You dont know what to say.
No, I mean
Over the last year or so Ive tried everything, but I cant seem to find something Im comfortable with. So I just wanted to know what you think would look good on my kinda head.
You clear your voice, thinking of all the nights youve spent fantasizing about running your fingers through that hair of his. I like a little length to it, you mumble.
Ok. And?
Well, its probably a tough job, but it looks best straight.
True, that is tough, it has its own life sorta.
I think youd look best with a bit shorter than it is now and then straightening it, you confirm.
Thanks, I can do the shorter part, but straightening it? That takes too long.
I see.
Unless you wanna come over and do it for me every morning that is?
Your mouth falls open. You know he didnt mean it like that, but you cant help drifting off, imagining massaging JCs scalp and fondling his hair while he sits in front of you all warm and fresh from bed and with a sleepy morning face.
I was kidding, he says softly, raising his eyebrows at you. I didnt mean to scare you.
You smirk, thinking he should only know the thoughts that just ran through your mind. I got that.
Good, I wouldnt want you to think I was suggesting anything here.
That would be bad, I guess.
He sits back and studies you, his eyes focused on yours and you can see him concentrating. He bites at his lower lip before he starts talking again. Wouldnt it?
And now youre officially lost, you were too busy looking into those gorgeous eyes of his to even try to remember what had been spoken just seconds ago. Huh?
It would be bad?
You still look like you just fell out of the sky.
For me to suggest something? As smile starts playing at the corner of his mouth.
Oh, that
You dont know what more to say, you cant very well tell him the truth, now can you? You cant tell him that anything hed wish for would be quite alright with you, as long as it involves him, he can do whatever he likes for all you care. No, that would really be a bad idea. You look back up at him, and you see from the expression on his face that hes waiting for you to say something more.
JEN!
Youre saved by the bell, three of your friends waltz over to your table wearing their most seductive smiles ever, eyes fixated on JC. You shouldve known, of course they would come running the second they found out who you were talking to.
Hi guys, you say, but theyre not even noticing you anymore.
Hi JC, one of them says in an alluring tone, while another sits down next to him.
Hello ladies, he says, quickly looking them over.
From there on, you feel like a third wheel, no one seems to notice you even exist anymore. You catch JCs gaze every now and then, but you cant really read it. Finally you decide to just leave it, you shouldve known this was too good to be true anyway. You pick up your purse and jacket and get to your feet, not bothering to look if anyone acknowledged. A deep sigh escapes your lips as you start walking, trying to keep the tears back, at least until you get to your car.
When you get outside, you start running, wanting to get to the safety of your vehicle as soon as you can. You struggle with the lock for a while, but eventually you get the door open and you slide into the seat. The tears start flooding the second the door slams shut behind you, youre sobbing like a child within seconds.
Why did you even for an instant think he would notice you? He can have every female on this planet he damn well like, its not like you would ever live up to his expectations. Hes a world famous pop star, why would he even give you the time of day? It was probably just some outreach program on his part, or maybe his friends bet he wouldnt do it. Yeah, thats probably it, you were a fucking bet! And as soon as something better came along, you were the furthest thing from his mind. All he could concentrate on was those beautiful women throwing themselves at him with low-cut tops and short-short skirts.
At this point your angry, probably more than you ever been before, but its not him youre angry with, its yourself. You cant believe you put yourself in a position to be hurt like that, you shouldve learned your lesson by now. You turn the ignition, about to put the car in reverse when you hear a knock on your window. Your head spins around and there he is, looking straight at you, motioning you to roll down the window.
You freeze, not really sure what to do. Hes looking at you with worry, and you know he can see that youve been crying. Do you want to let down your guard again, are you willing to let him in? The look on his face makes the decision for you, and you take a deep breath as you start rolling down the window. Hes kneeling outside your car, his head at your level, resting his arms in the door.
You wanna tell me why you ran? he questions.
You swallow hard and you look down, unable to meet his concerned eyes. You didnt seem to miss me, so I just figured Id leave.
What gave you that idea?
Uhm
Those friends of yours?
Look, I know how this works, theyre more interesting, even I know that.
I dont think Im following.
Never mind.
So youre leaving?
Yeah, I gotta get up pretty early tomorrow, so I should be in bed soon. Lame ass excuse, but you need something to say.
Oh, I see. He stands up, but leans his head down in through your window. Well, I hope well see each other again?
Ok.
Youre coming back here, arent you?
I guess.
Till next time, he smiles before pushing himself back and starting to walk.
You watch him all the way until he disappears back into the club before backing up and driving away. You dont know what to think, what on earth possessed him to run after you and say all those things? Could it be that he was actually concerned? Are you just being stupid, thinking that someone like him would give you a time of day? Why else would he worry, why else would he come after you like that?
You turn onto Colonial Drive.
Is it possible JC Chasez could actually be a really nice guy who actually cares about the people around him just like anyone else would? Maybe its more to him than you ever imagined? Maybe its you thats really wrong in thinking he would be stuck-up and shallow. Here you are, scared shitless that he would just judge you from first appearance, when basically, you were just doing the exact same thing. You jumped to conclusions without even knowing him.
You laugh silently, shaking your head.
Maybe this famous man just gave you a wakeup call of a lifetime?