My Poetry
I started writing poetry in my early teens. Throughout the years, my poems took on many different forms; they changed along with me as I grew into the person that I am today. My writing is my release; it is my heart and soul completely vulnerable, my feelings captured in their pure and unguarded state. It is what most cannot see with the naked eye. And I am exposing some of it for your viewing pleasure. Walk with me down my road of expression. Enjoy!
Who are you?
I look at you through the eyes of a stranger,
Through the sea of emotions now dry.
"Who are you?"
Asks the heart that escaped from the danger
Of a hopeless and choking tie.
Where are you?
Where's the one that I breathed of and craved for?
Where's the one that I sought?
Where are you?
In your place is a coward, a traitor.
In your place is a fraud!
Where is she -
That young girl that allowed you to hurt her,
That naively adored you?
Where is she?
She is happier, stronger, and bolder
She is feelingless toward you.
Disdainful smirk of glory's glow -
A salty sprinkle on the gash,
A crash of thunder, lightening's blow -
The laughter following the slash.
A piercing needle of your scorn -
Injection of a lethal drug,
A painful tug at feelings torn -
The cruel indifference of your shrug.
I scream into unhearing ears
And fall in front of unseeing eyes.
Numb senses do not taste the tears
Or feel the tremble of goodbyes.
I dream of the sun and clear blue skies,
Of laughter ringing in the air.
Through sunless, silent, empty cries
I dream of the sun and clear blue skies.
Snow petals shatter, tears turn to ice,
But still I sing in soft despair:
"I dream of the sun and clear blue skies
Of laughter ringing in the air."
I dream of loving, twinkling eyes,
Of prescious smiles and tender stares.
Through anger, heartbreak, spite, and lies,
I dream of loving, twinkling eyes.
So hurtful, lonely are goodbyes,
But still I whisper unheard prayers
About those loving, twinking eyes...
And prescious smiles... and tender stares...
Quiet Waters
Through gentle quiet waters
Down softly flowing streams
In mystifying circlets
Float wild vibrant dreams
In calm mysterious murmurs
Sweet droplets hum a tune
The ripples dance with sunlight
And make love to the moon
So silky is their laughter
So soothing their caress
So magical the movements
Of enchanted tenderness
But feisty are still waters
When angered by a breeze
Be careful of those waters
They do just as they please
Their borders ever swaying
So turbulent their tide
The waves are fast-approaching
Defenders of their pride
Deceitful is their game
Impulsive and extreme
Beware of quiet waters
With wild vibrant dreams.
We sit in silence
With memories of smiles between us
With a phone wire running through our distance
With an irritating need
To fill the night with empty words
To no avail.
Silence.
Fake words scatter like dust
In fear of painful reality.
Honesty, the beast, prevails.
It feeds our hungry souls with
Silence.
We are led through darkness
By a flickering flame,
A drowning torch.
We are frozen still by quiet winds
And hurried by a slipping sun,
We say "I love you".
The music fades in the mid-stream of a song -
Click.
Silence.
Don't Let Me Cry
(old poem revised)
There is this power in my heart
You really ought to free.
There is this vision in my head
You really ought to see.
There is this feeling of despair
You really ought to cease,
And give me wings to fly again,
Of misery release.
You ought to climb within my head
And make me understand,
And when I fall and can't get up
Offer a helpful hand.
And when I'd like to scream but can't
And tears fill my eyes,
Don't ever let me cry, my friend,
Don't let me cry.
Some words are left unspoken
Some dreams are left unsaid
And untold promises are broken
Unknown wishes are now dead
The coast is now completely clear
So cold and empty is the day
Guided by truth, I aim to heal
Deceptive wounds of yesterday.
Love Trick
A love once felt never quite leaves
It backs away and hides
But seldom casts a spark within
And shimmers deep inside.
You've tucked the memories out of sight
But they live on
And you will see those sparks again
They are not gone.
For love is too bright of a star
To simply disappear
And it will call you back again
And you will hear.
The years will pass, and you'll move on
But then one day
On the radio perhaps
That special song will play
And you'll be taken back, my friend
By what you'll feel
For that sharp pang inside your chest
Will be so real.
And if even for a second
Love will fill the air
And of its strange existance
You will become aware.
So while you thought the love had died,
The passion had gone gray,
It simply plaid a trick on you
It never went away.
Best Friend
A silver charm hangs on my neck
"Best Friend" the letters read,
Reminding me of what you were -
A true best friend indeed.
Time has reared its ugly head,
And change threw friends apart,
But in our distance from each other
The charm stays close to heart.
Forgiving's hard when hearts are numbed
By anger's marks of steel.
But the bruises caused by angry words,
Can they in time heal?
And I know you, you won't forget.
But perhaps you can forgive?
"Best friends forever" rings in my mind;
Ourselves we did deceive.
As times roll and scars run deep
My soul fills with remorse.
While it's too late to undo hurts,
Is it too late to unshut doors?
The Dance
Set back the clock another hour
So we can have another dance,
So I can feel your arms around me,
So we can savor the romance.
Before the short-lived, passing moment
Escapes again from you and me,
Lets close our eyes and feel the music,
And let the rhythm set us free.
Lets slowly drift away together
While gliding softly to the beat,
Feeling the fire of our bodies,
Moving together in the heat.
Heartbeats excited, souls united,
We are unconscious from the bliss.
Set back the clock another minute
So we can have just one more kiss.
To spend our days building castles in the sand
Only to have them washed away by a tide
That is stronger and larger than us,
Our creation being carried away
Leaving only traces of the beauty
That stood here only moments ago,
With only wishful memories of the past remaining,
Reminding us of the cruel present.
But who can hold the sand in his hands
Without letting the grains slip through the fingers?
Who has the strength to stop the forceful tide?
Old castles are swept away, and let them go.
Look at the now empty shore not as an end but a beginning,
A beginning of a far more beautiful castle.
We must find the strength to let go.
We must find the strength to rebuild.
If you just knew
How all my thoughts are filled with you,
How often in the silent night
I see your eyes' mysterious light,
How loudly my heart beats for you,
My body screams for you
If you just knew...
Oh, can't you guess
How sorrow's full of happiness,
And in my loss I still feel blessed
To have held you in the past,
Despite my current loneliness
Oh, can't you guess...
Why don't you see
How dreams of you don't let me be,
How every day and night I yearn
For your return,
How hard it is to set you free
Why don't you see?
Why don't you feel
Something my eyes can't help reveal,
Something so strong, so deep, so real?
For once, just feel
What you had borne, what only you can heal
If you just feel.
Diamond
You are a diamond -
You glimmer and glow,
And shine so brightly.
And I draw close
To feel your warmth, your heat
Only to find none,
You are a diamond -
You are sharp and strong.
But you have no love.
It's a deceiving game.
A diamond -
Hard enough to break my heart.
You are a diamond -
You shine on me with painful rays
The intensity of your bright cold light
Steaming my warm heart,
Causing it to cry tears of unwanted warm blood.
You will shine longer than most.
A life with you is nothing but long.
Can I ever leave?
I am drawn to this delusion of warmth you give,
Your deceiving, disappointing glow -
So painful, but beautiful.
Do diamonds last forever?
You take one look at me and say
You've never seen one look this way.
You say that you can see
That something's wrong with me.
You look concerned,
You say you care.
I'm sorry, baby,
I'm not being fair.
You say that my eyes
Are cold as ice.
They're full of lies,
And of disguise.
But into them you stare,
And say you care,
And beg me to reveal
The way I feel.
You say you love me,
You say you never felt this way before.
But can I trust you?
About this, I'm still not sure.
You say you'll be there 'til you die,
But in response, I ask you why.
As you take my hand,
I still don't understand.
A tear falls down,
And icicle melts.
But when you ask me,
I can't explain what I just felt.
You comfort me with your embrace,
You kiss the tears off my face,
You say that it's OK,
That you'll never go away.
And I believe you,
And I don't want to cause you pain.
But I have no answers,
Please don't ask me to explain.
She hides in her darkness
From the beast that she's tied to
She hides in his shadow
From all those that she lies to
She hides in the paleness
Of her thick gray sky
And swallows the tears
Of her silent cry.
Confusion
What is this distance that I feel,
This chill between us in the air
Why does our past seem so unreal
Was that connection ever there
Why do I feel so hurt and angry
Are you the one to blame
What changed between us, do you know
Or is it just me who's not the same
Was it all my imagination
Did I hold on to a delusion
Do you have the answers
Can you ease my confusion
Will you ever open your eyes
And see the beauty of yesterday
The beauty that you failed to see
Because your eyes were closed
Will you ever lift your heavy eyelids
That have been weighed down by ignorance
And will the fireworks that you missed
Ever show themselves to you again
Will you ever strain your eyes enough to see
All that is no longer there
All that you were blind enough to send away
Will the sharpness that you dulled
Return with painful intensity
And will you shut your eyes once more
No longer from ignorance,
But from pain of seeing.
Take my hand
Take my hand
We'll fly away
We'll change our fate
What do you say?
Take my hand
It'll be fun
Just you and I
United as one
Take my hand
We'll travel far
In the light
Of our future's star
Where is love?
It's all around,
In every breath,
In every sound
Love is in each raindrop,
In every gleam of light.
Love is in the sunshine,
In every star at night.
Love is in each cloud,
On top of every tree,
As well as in each heartbeat
Inside of you and me.
Intermission
The silent words,
The hidden thoughts,
Oh, what a mystery!
The sadness covered with a smile,
You aren't fooling me!
I'm just the same,
Just like you.
To me, the concept isn't new.
The look in your eyes -
So distant, full of disguise.
Seeking one in whom to confide,
Feeling deserted and despised,
And always required to conceal
The way you sincerely feel.
Wanting love, achieving lust.
Full of guilt, afraid of trust.
So don't tell me I won't understand.
To me, these feelings aren't new.
You can confide in me, you know,
I'm just like you.
Sacrifice
No longer can I look
Into the darkness of your eyes,
And forget the worries of the day
But yet no longer can I feel the disappointment
As I search the darkness
For the light that isn't there
No longer can I feel the comfort of your arms
As I lie inside them and fall asleep in the warmth
But yet no longer can I feel saddened
As I realize that there's nothing more to the warmth than bodyheat
No longer can I feel your sweet soft lips
Pressed against mine in a kiss
But yet no longer can that kiss be filled with emptiness
That fills me with unanswered longing
No longer can I get lost in the sound of your voice
But yet no longer can that voice frighten me
As it speaks words of anger
No longer can I feel your prensence beside me,
You holding my hand
But yet no longer can I feel your cold fingers
Holding on to what is no longer there
No longer can I have your shoulder to cry on
But yet no longer do I cry because of you.
ŠNina2002
A couple of my poems have been selected to make beautiful e-cards. To see them, please click on the link below to visit a marvelous website that belongs to a good friend of mine and an extremely talented woman.