Not That Innocent: Confessions

by Otakugyrl

Pairings: Yukina & Keiko, Hiei & Yuusuke

Disclaimer(s) I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. However, I do own this particular piece of fanfiction.

Dated: 06.29.04

 

 


 

 

People look at me and they immediately think innocence. Or even that I am naive. I am innocent in some ways, but not as much as everyone thinks. I admit, I am naive to a lot of ningen ways. The way things are done. How things are handled. And ningen emotions. I do what I can in any situation I am put into, but there is only so much I can do. Only so much I will do. Especially since I do not want to kill.

I cannot kill.

Even if it did happen years ago, I still cannot forget what happened. I am reminded by it every time anyone cries, but it doesn't bother me as much anymore. Because of that, I do not wish to see any more injustice-- to anyone. Because I do not want to kill, because I do not wish to cause harm to anyone... others mistake for being innocence.

She understood. Even though her on-again, off-again boyfriend fought; even though he killed. With every thing she'd been through, she understood. She was grateful for the things that she did not have to do, but she supported things that she felt was right. When no one else was listening, she would tell me. I don't think she knew how much that meant to me. I guess she understood as much as a ningen can understand.

She grew up with two parents who held a fairly steady job. She grew up with good grades in school. She grew up telling someone more than once that she loved him. I've heard her.

I've learned a lot, being in the Ningenkai, and I am constantly learning. Because she did so well in school, she has been considerate and kind enough to help me when I do not understand. Even if I still make myself look silly or embarass myself. It can be fun.

Hiei is usually there whenever I need someone, but there is only so much he can do. He is like the brother that I am missing; the brother that I need. Having him like a brother is probably better than-... I shouldn't say that.

Hiei and Yuusuke hang out a lot. Actually, more than a lot. Ever since he broke up with her, he has spent more time with Hiei. To be honest, I always thought they were training for something. Even thought it's been years since anything major had happened in the Ningenkai or Makai, I assumed they still needed to train.

And they did. And they do. But that's not all they do. I saw them...

I was actually quite nervous when I went to her house to ask her about Hiei and Yuusuke.

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"Come in, Yukina," Keiko said, smiling as she stepped aside to grant the koorime entrance.

Keiko had been living on her own for a few years now. Shizuru often visited, as did Yukina, but she never minded. Company was a good thing; it meant someone cared.

"Arigatou..." Yukina breathed softly, stepping out of her shoes and lining them up by the door.

Yukina followed Keiko into the living room, looking around at the decor; it was the same as usual. Simple, clean, friendly… welcoming.

"Is there something that you'd like to drink?" the brunette offered.

"Oh. No. No, thank you," Yukina answered, fumbling with her kimono nervously. Her hands trembled.

"Is every thing okay?" Keiko asked, concerned. It was winter, but she didn't think that Yukina would be effected; being an ice demon.

"H-hai. Gomen..." Yukina stuttered. She looked down, embarassed. She didn't normally act this way around Keiko, but she had a few things on her mind- things that only reinforced the image of her naivety.

Keiko didn't want to push the koorime into saying anything, so instead she offered her a seat. Bowing her head lightly, Yukina took a seat on the love seat next to Keiko.

"So how have you been?" Keiko asked, breaking the unwanted silence. She had enough silence living alone. Maybe she needed a pet?

"Oh, I've been alright..." Yukina started. Her face saddened a bit, but she forced herself to smile.

"You don't have to pretend to be happy..."

There was a moment of silence as the girls looked at each other.

Not only had Yuusuke and Hiei seemed to have become closer on more than one level, but Kuwabara wasn't doing too well. He had been in the hospital for the past three months; in a coma. It had obviously bothered Yukina. She couldn't help but miss him, even though she never really understood why he’d acted the way he did around her. Not completely, at least. Kuwabara had finally explained to Yukina how he felt about her, but she didn't understand the concept of relationships, love, or anything about males in general. She couldn't return the same feelings for him. He wanted her to be happy. She was what mattered to him. And on the way home that night, he’d gotten into trouble… It had been a gang from another school seeking revenge for some past grievance. It took a month for Yukina to stop blaming herself for what happened. Two months later, though, she was obviously still concerned; and worried.

Yukina sighed, "I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to be sorry," Keiko said gently, placing her hand on the koorime’s knee in attempt to comfort her.

Yukina smiled softly. "A lot has happened... And I'm worried about Kazu--" Her voice broke.

"The doctors say that they're doing more tests on him. If they're right then there is a chance that he'll come out of it soon," Keiko said, offering a smile.

"Oh they have?" her eyes lit up a bit, but there were still other things on her mind; preventing her from getting as excited as she normally would have.

Keiko nodded, "Yes. Yu-- Yuusuke has been keeping up with him."

"Ooh. You mean... when he's not with Hiei-san?" Yukina guessed, her innocence shining through.

"Mm hmm," Kieko nodded, pulling her hand back to her own lap.

"Keiko-chan?" Yukina looked at Keiko. 'You didn't have to pull your hand away...' was the first thought the kourime had, but mentally shook her head at the thought. She shouldn't want that... should she?

"Yes?"

"Um. About Yuusuke-san and Hiei-san..." she paused, trying to make sense out of what she was about to ask. "I... I saw them in the forest the other day..."

Unsure of what to make of it, Keiko nodded; waiting patiently for Yukina to finish, but noticing the light blush that appeared on her pale face.

"Um, they were...they were kissing. Does… does that mean they're going to have sex?" She stopped as Keiko’s face reddened. Was it even allowed, to ask such a question?

"Kazuma-san once told me that you kiss someone that you like, but not a friend. I didn't understand, but... ano... Well, then Yuusuke-san said that you kiss before you have sex... Kazuma-san hit him and told me not to pay any attention....“ Yukina fumbled with the blue cloth of her kimono. "...I tried to ask what sex was, and Shizuru told me about something called ‘Te Basics’. Then I tried to ask Genkai-san... she was busy. So I didn't ask again."

Keiko sat there. Speechless. Her blush brightened.

"Yukina, did anyone ever explain sex to you?"

"Oh! Yes! Shizuru-san did, but she never said anything about kissing and then having sex. She just told me what it actually was, but Kazuma-san came in and they got into an argument... so I left and didn't bring it up again."

"Um. Just because they were kissing, does not... does not necessarily mean they are going to have sex," Keiko said, careful not to mention ‘their’ names. She couldn't help but still feel something for Yuusuke; even if it wasn't as it used to be, and besides, she didn't come between him and whomever he cared for. She wanted him to be happy.

She wanted to be happy.

"Ano... Shizuru-san said something about a male and female... I didn't know that two males can... Can two females?" Yukina knew that her species reproduced without males, but she didn’t know anything about ningen reproduction. But now everywhere she went someone was talking about it. They were growing up, after all.

"Yes. They can, but they can't reproduce." Keiko hoped that that would be the end of their conversation about sex and Yuusuke.

"Oh..."

"Is that what was on your mind?"

Blushing, Yukina nodded, "Hai..."

She felt relieved now that she had found out some possible good news about Kuwabara and about some things that she had been wondering about.

"So... kissing is for when two people really like each other?" Yukina questioned; there was still something on her mind.

"Yes. People can kiss each other in a friendly way, but the kissing ... the kissing that I'm sure you saw occurs usually between people who care for each other as more than friends."

"How can you tell?" Yukina's head tilted to the side, puppy-like. "How can you tell? Well... Kuwabara liked you-- a lot. You finally found out, but I guess that doesn't help you understand, does it?" Keiko laughed, trying to lighten the mood up.

Giggling softly, Yukina nodded.

"Well... When you want to see the person... a lot. You enjoy spending time with them and .... " Keiko hesitated, seeing Yukina yawn.

"Um... Keiko-chan?"

"Hmmm?"

"So, when I want to see someone a lot and enjoy spending time with them-- more than anyone else; that means I might like them?" her head lowered; shy.

"Something like that..."

Yukina wrapped her arms around Keiko; hugging her tightly, "Thank you... for always being honest with me... for being there... for everything."

She was trying not to cry. Whether it was because every one else around them were constantly busy or because the people the two cared about most were always with each other; they found comfort in one another. Keiko didn't know it. Yukina now knew it.

Keiko returned the hug, "It's okay...." She didn't know what else to say. Yukina always thanked her a lot. For anything. For every thing.

Yukina leaned back so that she could look Keiko in the eyes, "I appreciate it. And I appreciate you not... belittling me."

Keiko smiled. How could she belittle Yukina? She didn't see any reason to. She did learn quickly, after all. That is, if anyone was willing to tell her and teach her, which seemed to be rare. Again, people were busy or would treat her like a child.

Without a warning, Yukina gently pressed her lips against Keiko's; taking the brunette by surprise. Shocked, Keiko's eyes went wide. However, she didn't pull away. An instant later, Yukina did.

"I... I...."

Keiko pulled Yukina close to her; said nothing. Not needing to say that it was okay. Yukina's worries faded.

They found comfort in each other. They cared for each other. More than either of them knew. Until that day.

Yukina knew it. Now Keiko knew it.

Yawning, Yukina leaned against Keiko; tired. Exhausted. She hadn’t been sleeping well in days…

It didn't take long for the koorime to fall asleep. Keiko, not wanting to wake her up, rose carefully to retrieve a blanket, but there was a tug at her sweater. Turning, she saw Yukina's fingers gripping onto her sweater.

Instead of getting a blanket she sat back down; allowing Yukina to use her lap as a pillow. Soon they were both asleep.

Comforted, relieved. Happy.