Obesity is a diesease
Mood:  sharp
I went to a weight loss seminar where the doctors spoke about obesity being a disease. That is the first time I heard obesity and diseae in the same sentence. A disease is any condition that causes discomfort, dysfunction, distress, social problems, and/or death to the person afflicted. All of us that are overweight/obese would agree that all of the above do apply to us. I am hot all the time and sweat easily (how embarassing), my sex drive sucks, I am depressed about the way I look, and I do not like to go places like I use to. I am a prisoner in my own body. But yet I put myself there. It's like one day I woke up and saw myself as this fat person. I think that I am still in denial. When I look at pictures it is like I am looking at someone other than myself.

http://lycos.cs.cmu.edu/info/obesity--diseases.html

Name
Mood:  quizzical
The name of my webpage came from the book titled "Black Like Me" written by John Howard Griffin 1961. In the book John (who is white) makes his skin darker so that he can experience life as a black man. John is white on the "inside" but lives his life "acting" as if he is a black man. I feel that I can describe myself that way too. I am "fat" on the outside but still feel that I am "skinny" on the inside. I was not an overweight child. I did not start to gain weight until I was 20. After a horrible relationship that ended with physical and emotional abuse I started putting on the pounds little by little. I am mixed (black and white) and also mixed up about who I really am. Fat or skinny.

Size what
Mood:  irritated
I was at work (Lane Bryant-Plus Size Fashions) folding, hanging, and putting up clothes when I came across the size that I wear-26. (Oh, my did I just write that for the world to see.) "We first have to acknowledge a problem before we can address it." Do I really wear that size? That is what I kept asking myself. It finally hit me-girl you have a problem. I guess I had my Aha moment. This is ENOUGH. In my closet there are so many sets of different sized clothes. From a size 12, 14, 18, 20, 22, 24, and finally a 26. These are all clothes from the past 2 years. When I met my husband I was able to wear 14/18. Now I am in a 26. What the heck is going on. I AM TIRED OF BEING A PLUS SIZE. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO BUY CLOTHES ANYWHERE AND NOT LIMIT MYSELF TO A PLUS SIZE CLOTHING STORE.

Cementery
Every morning on my way to work I drive by a cementery. This morning I was in a bad mood, upset at the world, and angry. This morning I notice that they are preparing for a funereal. At that moment I make an immediate attitude adjustment. "Hey, I am here. I am alive so get over it." I say to myself. I need to spend my days enjoying life instead of complaining about it.