Weather in Tuscaloosa: Sunny! Jesus Loves Alabama.

And now, Cat Chat Thursday:

Harry: Hello Bipeds. And Welcome to Cat Chat. Today's topic is the State of the Union.

Mina: We, the good cats of Lisablog, have been studying President Bush's State of the Union Address and here are our thoughts.

Bela: First of all, we are very pleased that the bipeds in power have made it their priority to protect us from evil.

Harry: We, the good cats of Lisablog, have been very concerned about evil in recent weeks.

Bela: There is the evil of the late dinner hour.

Mina: And the evil of being shut out of the bedroom at night.

Harry: There is even the evil of the possibility that Islamofascists are kidnapping mice from our apartment.

Bela: And decapitating them.

Mina: We are very concerned about the jihad against the mice of Queens.

Harry: As for health care, it really makes no difference to us what you bipeds do with your health care problems.

Mina: We're just waiting for you to die so that we can eat your eyeballs.

Bela: Now, as for immigration, you all know that there are holes in the border.

Harry: There was a hole big enough to let Mina into the country.

Bela: Mina should not receive amnesty.

Harry: They should send her furry fat ass back to Limey Town.

Bela: We hope that there will be a serious, civil, and conclusive debate on this issue.

Mina: As for President Bush's plan to diversify America's energy supply, we have a better idea.

Harry: We'd like to see America's energy supply cut off.

Bela: There is nothing more hair-raising than the sound of an early morning garbage truck out on the street.

Mina: And the street cleaning machine.

Harry: These must all be eliminated.

Bela: Also the stereo.

Harry: Japanese noise music and Morton Feldman must be stopped.

Mina: The electric coffee grinder will not only be banned, it will be destroyed.

Bela: We will allow for limited use of the electric can opener if it can be operated with wind or solar power.

Harry: And finally, we would like to discuss President Bush's commitment to guarding the Homeland.

Bela: Thank god someone is guarding the homeland. We know what those terrorists intend for us.

Mina: It's possible that they have designs on my sheep skin rug.

Harry: Word up Osama. If you come for the sheep skin rug we will scratch your ass.

Bela: We, the good cats of Lisablog, are creating a volunteer Civilian Feline Reserve Corps to combat the problem of the sheep-skin stealing Syrians, Iranians, and Osama.

Harry: While our owners do not seem to take this threat seriously, we, the decent and resilient cats of Lisablog, are always vigilant.

Mina: I spend a good deal of my time clasping the sheep skin rug to my breast to protect it from Islamofascists.

Harry: This has been our assessment of the State of the Union.

Bela: We've been through a lot together, and we're pleased that we've made it through another year of war, famine, psychotic christian fervor, racism, obsessive western privileged consumption, and deeply moving human hypocrisy.

Harry: We thank you for the entertainment.

Mina: May god bless you.

Bela: And may Allah provide you with juicy raisins.

Harry: Peace.