http://www.angelfire.compoetry/ladyrise/
ladeeblkpoetry@yahoo.com
https://www.angelfire.com/poetry/ladyrise/
ladeeblkpoetry@yahoo.com
In all my 29 years on this earth, I never expected life to turn out this way. I would have never thought it to be as hard or as complicated as this. If I would have had some prior warning to the traumas I would have to face, I think I could have better prepared myself. In life I have found that so-called friends will turn on you at the drop of a dime and love really doesn’t live here any more. Doves really do cry and there is no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Life isn’t lived through the soft tint of rose colored glasses and what you read in romance novels was just the idle wishes of a woman just like me. You can never wear your heart on your sleeve because there is always someone lurking in the shadows waiting to tear it apart. The reality of it is, you can never go back to your childhood...
At the age of six-teen I lost my virginity on the basement sofa of my parents house. It was nothing like I’d expected. Nothing like the many Zebra romances I would read as a quiet escape from reality. A few dispassionate kisses and a poke later, it was over. I wish now that I would have never did it. I had no idea how important keeping my virginity was until it was no longer exsistant. I allowed temptation and curiosity to get the best of me instead of taking into consideration how valuable I was with my innocence still intact.
I grew up believing in the fantasies of fairy tale romances and the dreams of a perfect man. The one that every woman desires and parents can’t help but love. We would live happily ever after, but I learned the lessons the hard way despite my parents wisdom. Never believing that they were once young them selves and have lived through the same trials I now face. I have come to realize how much my mother’s wisdom is worth more than gold or silver. She has experienced every disappointment and heart ache life could have thrown in her direction. Still, she survived and lived to be stronger.
I never thought about how hard life could be because I thought of everything in the positive. Sun beams and rainbows. How for every action there is a equal reaction. I never thought about how the things you do in life can eventually come back to haunt you. Every skeleton in your closet falls out for any and everyone to see. There is nothing you can do to stop it. Your world begins to crumple around you and the things you thought to be true in your life you find to be false. The true test is how do you get through it and still have a life left to live.
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