letting go
I have given up im letting go It harder then you could eva know Im letting go of everything i have held on to For almost a year I am trying to make these feelings disapear I dont want to sit there and watch Everytime you make a move I am trying to get over you i am not going to make you choose Im letting go of the one person that means the world to me But time had told we arent meant to be HERE I SIT Here I sit by candlelight, thinking of you, I've dreamt of you every night, and all we could be and do. Here I sit, alone with sorrow thinking of only you, Waiting till tomorrow till again I will see you. Here I sit knowing that I have lost my chance, No feelings will be growing and here In lost in trance. Here I sit feeling, inside my heart is crying, My emotions and thoughts wheeling, inside my heart is dying For here I sit knowing, It wasn't just a shallow crush, And now my tears are flowing, cause I've cared for you so much. Maybe I shouldn't have shared my feelings , maybe thing would be Different and I wouldn't be involved in these dealings And my heart wouldn't have been lifted. But here I sit alone, dreaming of passion And to my friends I cry, it's become my usual fashion. Here I sit not fully coping Wishing we could make something start. Here I sit hoping, For a change in you heart. Here I sit knowing, of the love that we'd share, It would continue growing, into your eyes I'd stare. I haven't felt so strongly, in such a long time. It all comes so strangely, these twisted feelings of mine. I think I could forgive you for anything, just as long as you smiled. I know Id love you for everything, these feelings are no longer mild. Tears are building in my eyes, yet I will hold them back, Only the weak ones cry, but strength I sometimes lack. Or it's you, Its you I miss, it's you that doesn't come, It's you I will not kiss, It caused my heart to ache some. Don't feel pressured, I'm not asking for a commitment, Just always be assured, that for you my feeling will not relent, I know you heart is directed other ways, and my feelings at this point Don't matter. But still, thinking of you I spend my days, and i will continually grow Sadder. MY HERO theres a tear in my eye that wont go away a pain in my heart i hope it will leave someday someone is missing from all of my life i miss him that much it cuts like a knife my hero my hero i need him here hes the only one that can remove this tear MY PAIN Why does everything seeem to go wrong? I try to keep a good face, I do my best to stay strong. It's just so hard when you're constantly feeling like you have to lie. About your life and about the times you cry. I feel like I should hide all my pain and everything I keep buried in my soul. Do you know how exactly this feels? I've never felt something this cold. You might say, "I know exactly how you feel." But you never will, at least not for real. You'll never have the pain I hide deep within me. Not until you look through my eyes and see what they see. My heart just feels so empty and so full of pain, and even sometimes my fear hurts and loneliness builds up and makes the anger towards myself MIXED EMOTIONS Temptation where you are caught in the middle of desires I think is the hardest part. Not being able to chose is destroying my life and breaking my heart. What's wrong? What's right? What am I feeling? Is it love, is it lust, or is it something I like based only on sight? It's something you'll never know inless you share your thoughts and let what's truely inside of you begin to show. This is something I learned the hard way. I kept my feelings bottled up never saying what i thought I should say. How this hurt me I don't know where to start, but all I can say is that it ripped a huge hole in my heart. I don't want this to happen to you. Life is to short to be wasted and to sweet not to be tasted. The best advice I can give to you while you're feeling mixed emotions is follow your heart it will tell you what to do DEEP IN MY HEART Deep in my heart, there is a name, A name of a person I'd like to see. We've been apart for quite some time, But he'll always be here with me. He'll always be here with me, Always in my heart. I keep him there because he's special, We are, but we aren't apart. We are but we aren't apart, It's a little hard to decide. I don't want to say he's gone forever, A part of him will always stay inside. I really do miss him, Somewhere deep in my heart. Why did things happen the way they did? I wish we had never separated and drifted apart. FALLING FOR YOU A kiss from your lips, A warm sensuous touch, A display of devotion, I want it so much. When we cuddle, I feel so complete, What glorious fortune it was, For you and me to meet. You are so special, Comparable to few, I think you should know, I think I'm falling for you. All I want is to Steal your heart, And for us to be together, To never be apart. I promise my soul Will always be true, If only you allow Me to love GOODBYE Tears rolling down my cheek As I say goodbye I see you leave As I start to cry I don't even ask or wonder Because sooner or later I know you'd leave And the skies would darken up My smiles will fade again For my love can only hurt me And my hatred can only scar others But I'll love you near or far When you're here the skies lighten up And my worries gone But now I can only watch you leave As I say goodbye. TRY TO FORGET Try to forget the love that we had, Try to forget all the stuff I miss so bad, Try to forget how you rubbed my face, Try to forget how we went every place. Try to forget how you whispered in my ears, Try to forget how you wipped away my tears. And when our love has long been dead, When we've moved on to the road ahead, And I'm laying wide awake in bed, The memory of us will be in my head DEEP INSIDE Please don't judge me by my face By my friends or what you hear. Please don't laugh at what I wear Or how I look or do my hair. Please look deep inside of me. And although you may not see it I have a lot to hide. Behind my clothes, the secrets lie Behind my smile, I softly cry. Please look deep inside, And maybe you will find The lonely girl that lives in me. Please listen carefully to her She'll show that she is insecure. Please try to be a friend to her And maybe you will see, That if you just look deep enough You'll find the real me. INSIDE OF ME I may seem happy but im not Im frowning on the inside I may seem ugly but im not Im beatuiful on the inside I may seem chearful but im not Im cryin on the inside I may seem lively but im not Im nuthin but dead on the inside! NO SUNSHINE I run so fast, I run so far, I run just to get away. I try so hard just to hide, I feel this day after day. Get away from the dark, Now there is no sunshine. Ever since you tore my heart, There has been no sunshine. Everyone thinks I'm okay, They think I glow so bright. But never will they ever know, There is no sunshine, there is no light. I never thought it'd be so dark, Lonely, rejected, depressed, and empty. You took the sunshine with you And now darkness? I have plenty ACID TEARS I cry, acid tears They burn my cheaks The emotion runs so deep Straight from my heart ~ But you ignored me and my tears You never wanted to even care for me You dispise my very creation And hate my whole being ~ You could never stand me And all the oppertunies I had So you have to fake to me Just to make me seem bad ~ I cut myself to try and find a release From always trying to find away to please you But everything I ever do Always seems to anger you ~ But now as my life falls apart around me And I call out, plea for help I turn and see you watching me where I fell But then you disapear You have left me. WHERE ARE YOU? i need you more than i have ever needed you before it seems like an eternity since i last saw you it feels like years have past since we last talked i sit and stare at your pictures wanting you to tell me you love me and that you care i want you to reach out and hold me what i would give to just feel your arms around me i try so hard to think of all the good times we've had everything that made us laugh and smile but that night it keeps playing over and over in my head i try to change it but i know it's only wishful thinking i want you here with me loving me, holding me i love you with all my heart and soul IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE i'm falling again into that familiar darkness i've seen this place before felt it's freezing emptiness lived in it's black nothingness and i pray for the strenth to pull through to survive to make it out once again but i'm screaming as i fall because what if this time i don't esape? DAVID Dave said "things could get better" Dave said don't worry about it" dave said alot of things Including "I love you but don't shout it." Dave had his mind made up From the moment of the start He decided he was too good for me In the bottom of his heart But he lied to himself and I And convinced us both untrue When I realized dave knew he was too good I didn't know what to do I thought maybe he wouldn't notice I cried out in need of help But Dave heard and never came Only caring about himself Dave said that it was over Then he told me a million more lies And then dave walked away from me And didn't even bother to cry. WHAT YOU CANT SEE KILLS ME Watching a child, watching the fights, Crying my sleep during the screams of the night. Nestled in pillows overtaken by tears, She'd never realize this would effect her over the years. So afraid of this monster, one that I hate, It comes from the anger so the pain it makes. If only a mirror could save it to see, This child is hurting, This child is me. So scared to fall in love, but tired of being alone, I remember all those tears, And the pain they have shone. Now no longer with youth, But old enough to say, I can't ignore these memories I live with, I live with then everyday CHILD ABUSE Pitied man. I held you once In such a high regard And waited on a fathers pride, A single guiding word. But drunken fits And angry shouts Filled places meant for warmth, Slowly killing all respect And turning love to loathe. A child cannot understand The power of the brew, The undeserved striking hand, The emptiness in you. Passing time dulls the ache And clears the eye to see. The problems that you had back then Belonged to you Not me. CHILD ABUSE 2 I was only eight when it began Late at night, when I was alone. You preyed on my innocence and my trust. How did I know that it was wrong? You did things so horrible to me, My soul and body were bared. What you did to that little girl Left me feeling alone and scared. You said it was to show your love By taking my body for your use. But now I know that what happened to me Wasn't love; it was abuse. All the dirty things you did to me Won't wash away with rain. Nothing on earth will rid my heart Of this neverending pain. I hope that you hurt as much as I do, Or do you even remember what you did? Nothing will make up for the pain you caused When I was just a kid. The physical scars you put on my body Have since healed with time. But my pain still shows on the outside Whenever the child inside of me starts to cry. That little eight year old girl Had to grow up way too soon. And all of the hurt and pain that you have caused Will always be remembered, like a flower that forever blooms CONFESSION OF A CUTTER Silence Only tears As I press the blade Against my pale skin Red The blood flows From the wounds Echoing my inner pain Satisfaction As I feel the knife Slicing into me I only deserve pain Anguish As I realize what I've done I feel accomplishment As I gaze at the marks upon my skin Stares People are horrified Don't understand why Neither do I SAD NIGHT It was a sad and quiet night, with words as my shade, I wrote this poem to you, hoping that the pain would fade. Hoping that the pain would fade, the pain I feel in me, as each day passes by, the time might set me free. It was a sad and quiet night, when I faced the hardest part, cause I was all by myself, with a broken heart. It was a sad and quiet night, with my head in hand, when I learned to accept, and how to understand. Now I do understand, that reality is pain, which brought me tears, and left me in the rain. It was a sad and quiet night, as my dreams went through, I realize my mistake, it was wrong to love you IM TO BIG TO CRY I never stopped to realize How lonely I would be I never thought the day would come When you'd grow tired of me Your voice was never sweeter Than the day you said goodbye You'll never know how much it hurt Because I'm too big to cry If I knew then what I know now You'd still be kissing me Instead there's someone else's lips Where mine used to be I say hello and wish you well Each time I pass you by But you'll never know how much it hurt Because I'm too big to cry You never looked so wonderful As the day you walked away I used to say, "I love you" But that I could not say I can't forget you darlin' No matter how much I try You'll never know how much it hurt Because I'm too big to cry MISSING YOU My love for you is so strong. My nights are long Since you have been gone. I miss our love we use to share. My heart's not the same since you have gone. I lay awake at night thinking of all the love we shared. I miss you oh so very much. I pray that you will come back I miss you. as the days go by Without you here I realize Just what you mean to me And how much I love you. You are my life, my world, my everything. I miss you DREAMS SHATTERED The glass shatters My dreams break Nothing else matters I don't want to wake You cut me with the glass You hurt me once more Will this hurt ever pass? What's this life for? All that I achieved Has been swept away Everything I believed Is not here today. ESCAPE HIS LOVE Her head hung low, her heart beat fast. But when he walked out of the room, She raised her head high. Maybe she'll get over him, Maybe she wont cry. It's been a long time now, People say she should move on, But she just can't get over him. They talk about the time, When they shared all that love, But nobody understands, Why she's still in love. She falls to the ground, And try's to get back up, But the fear keeps pushing her down. Will she ever escape the memory of his love? DO YOU EVEN CARE? I just don't know how to feel, If I should just give up, Store away all emotion And chalk it up as never meant to be. I put away what I feel And try to forget you. But then you smile at me, Or brush against me, And I fall in love all over again. Then you'll forget me For awhile, pretend I'm not there. I cry and wonder, Do you even care at all? CRUSHED You tore my heart into two, My hopes, wilted and shattered, You said I just won't do, To you, that's all that mattered. Didn't you give me a chance, To prove we're made for each other, Let me show it you just once, But in my heart, I know you'll never... Maybe I've started writing poems too late, 'Cause my heart's all blistered, And so full of hate. WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY? I said I loved you, Darling, And gave you all my heart. Yet you chose to leave our love behind, You chose for us to part. What else can I say, My Love? I know this language well. Was it the words of love I spoke? Or was it the words I didn't tell? For if that's the way I failed, And you chose to leave that day -- I'm sorry, My Love . . . What else can I say? ROSES She's always loves roses, So filled with beauty, Their petals so soft and sweet, So often symbols of love and beauty. But they say every rose has it's thorns. Well this girl won't get pricked. She chose carefully this time, And this rose is perfect. This rose is kind and gentle. This rose cares for her too much To tear her soft skin, And bring tears to her bright, shining eyes. She strokes it trustingly, Feels it's soft petals caress her lips, And slides her fingers down the stem, Always avoiding the few harmless thorns. But then, this rose As innocent as it appears at the surface Reveals it's dark secret, And she feels one of those once harmless thorns pierce her skin. Startled by the sting Her mind tells her to let go, Yet she's pulled into a trance, And watches with wonder as blood explores the pores of her fair skin. She should let go... But the rose is too beautiful. The soft red petals, filled with deceit Have her under some dark spell. Her skin is torn again By another of the "perfect" rose's thorns. Over and over again... She starts to turn pale. Those eyes, once bright with trust and wonder, Now dulled with thoughts of betrayal and shock. She becomes weak, yet she clings steadfast to the rose. Maybe it can save her. But it cuts her again. She's laying on the ground. Her arm grows weaker still, And the rose falls from her grasp. Freed from the rose's spell, All she's left with now is pain. Every rose has it's thorns... She doesn't like roses anymore LETTING GO letting go of everything that surrounds me just sitting in the silence completely numb no worries, fears or pains floating above it all flashes of memories come reminding me of the past showing the person that i was and who I chose to become wondering about the future and who i will be then interested where my life will be will i be pleased with the choices that made and the path of which i have traveled LOVE'S DEATH Painful memories Past promises unfulfilled Longing rises up Profuse suffering What was will no longer be Desire pervades Still mighty anguish Through tentative emotions Devotion endures Eventual peace At last distress is subdued The ache is silent ITS ALL YOUR FAULT it's all your fault cuz you make me feel safe you make me feel sane you make me feel like everything's alright yeah it's all your fault that i'm not crazy anymore that the voices in my head are quiet and the thoughts that drove me crazy just disappeared yeah it's all your fault that i'm so happy and i feel like i'm floating all the time that i see sunshine and flowers everywhere even when it's snowing and everything's so damn beautiful it's all your fault yeah it's all your fault that for the first time in years i think everything might be alright and i don't cry at night anymore it's all your fault that i feel special and i feel loved yeah it's all your fault cuz when i'm in your arms i feel safe i feel sane i feel like everything's alright. i love you and it's all your fault. IF MY HEART COULD SPEAK My heart Can tell A story Beyond anything My mind could ever write the words I express in poetry nothing like what i feel in my heart I have a Pain so deep A sorrow so Plentiful If only my Heart could Speak what A story it Could tell A story of love A story of Deep pain A story of Loss and of greif. If only I could express WIth words These feelings I feel as Well as my heart Could tell These burdens WOuld be lifted The pain washed Away. IM SO ALONE SINCE YOU LEFT I'M ALL ALONE, SINCE YOU LEFT* My face wears laughter My heart screams with pain Becuase my world stopped turning the moment you left me, alone You gave me no answers YOu just kissed me and left You said you'd always love me But now all I feel is hate One day you loved me The next you hated me How could you do this to me How could break me You were my world You were my rock Now i have no world I have no rock I feel so alone I feel so out of place I feel unloved I feel unwanted I need to be loved I need to be held But since you left I've had to hold myself. *MY PAIN* The pain's still here The agony still present You yurning still active The longing still vibrant It's been 4 months Each day like the last Full of pain and misery Just wanting you near YOu say there is no hope And my mind beleives you But my heart just doesn't understand The pain just doesn't go away YOu were my world, my life And when you left It came crashing down Leaving me in pain and tears EMPTY LOVE The love we shared The love we made It was all so real All so loving and pure The way you said it The way you touched me YOu took my breath away with just one touch A love so deep A love so true Bewitching us both With the discovery of us We shared a love like no other WE made love, for a first. The love was forever Then it fell apart Right in frount of our eyes Our love faded and dwindled We were helpless to stop it We just held to each other We held on until, there was no more us Nothing more to save Nothing left but jumbled feelings We had to say goodbye No matter what the pain We couldn't hold on To empty love. I LOST IT ALL We shared so much too much to explain We shared a love so true We shared a friendship like few. You were my Romeo And I your Juliet We sared each other And created Love so deep We shared our secrets Our hopes and dreams We were best friends With a love much more Our love so strong How could it fell? I knew it was forever How could i be so wrong Our friendship dwendled The candle blown out The love so true Fallen to deep to recover I lovst my lover I lost my best friend How could it be With love like ours HOw could a love like ours Be so wrong How could i lose my best friend And my lover all in one. THANKS YOUR TAKING A LOOK AT MY POETRY PAGE PLEASE SIGN MY GUEST BOOK.THANKS.
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