Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Dear R-

I don’t quite know how to put this
So I’m writing it in a poem
Things I can’t say to your face
Or through Internet lines of phone

We only are acquaintances
But even that’s a stretch
Mildly comfortable in each other’s presence
A situation with a catch

I long to have the daring
To candidly converse
But in relationships, I progress
From natural friendship first

I’m well aware that won’t,
Just “happen” if I hide
Behind my past excuses
I must let go of this guide

Perhaps you aren’t conscious
Of my innate outgoing ease
That emerges with strangers
But when you’re near, is seized

I become less restrained
As the night turns real late
Succumbing more to impulse
And less in fear of fate

The emotions and the hopes
You seem to stir
I can’t sort into categories
The way I usually prefer

In this private and revealing
Confession of dreams
I can pour out my soul
Without lost self-esteem

With you I want
To dance and feel casual
Illogically impossible
Cause you are so approachable

But at this time when I
Should truly send this your direction
I’ll find a route that won’t
Even reveal my affection

So now I close this dream world door
And lay down in my bed
Silently mourning, what could have been
If I wasn’t stuck in my paranoid head

Sincerely, Kat (the girl who draws)